Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Nov 30th 2003, 11:45 pm
#31
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 90
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by Rete
Sorry. Krissy wrote she was the beneficiary of a K-1. I read that to be that she had the K-1 already. I see from her post that is not so.
Rete
Sorry. Krissy wrote she was the beneficiary of a K-1. I read that to be that she had the K-1 already. I see from her post that is not so.
Rete
Guys I have just faxed the US Consulate in Auckland, NZ to inform them that I do not want to continue with the visa process and also his threats to have me barred & for violence against me if I do go up at Xmas.
I asked for their advice as to what can happen so hopefully he will get some answers!
Krissy
Dec 1st 2003, 12:35 am
#32
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 14,049
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Krissy,
I sure do hope you find a way to keep the ring and visit your brother in SF.
Since the ticket is non-refundable, I personally think I'd be tempted to fly to SF and try to get in. If the money is gone anyway, all you have to lose is the time. I'd just hate to think you'd have to fear for your personal safety due to your ex-fiance's threats.
As for him (the ex-fiance), time and his present behaviour (allowing for the fact that we have only your side of the story) will heal your emotional wounds. How truly wonderful for you that you found out about him now rather than after leaving your present life and marrying him.
Best wishes to you,
JEff
I sure do hope you find a way to keep the ring and visit your brother in SF.
Since the ticket is non-refundable, I personally think I'd be tempted to fly to SF and try to get in. If the money is gone anyway, all you have to lose is the time. I'd just hate to think you'd have to fear for your personal safety due to your ex-fiance's threats.
As for him (the ex-fiance), time and his present behaviour (allowing for the fact that we have only your side of the story) will heal your emotional wounds. How truly wonderful for you that you found out about him now rather than after leaving your present life and marrying him.
Best wishes to you,
JEff
Originally posted by krissyv
Hi,
I'm the benificiary of a K-1 petition and I have just found out that my fiance has been cheating on me the last month or so with various girls and also advertised for casual sex on a sex & swingers personal internet site.
As such the engagement is off and I now need to know how to withdraw the petition (he has refused)
Also as I refused to give the ring back, he has started threatening me, to the point I am changing my cell phone today, and says he will sue me, put a debt collection agency onto me for the cost & has reported it to the police stolen and says that he knows a way to have me barred from the US forever.
I am travelling to the US for Xmas as he convinced me to buy a ticket to see him last week and its non refundable so I was planning to use it to see me brother in SF.
He has said that if he tracks me down up there he will beat me up.
Aside from the physical threats I am concerned that he will cause problems for me at the POE..
My question is - is it possible for him to do these things to me?
I am a lawyer in NZ and I know that the rule is that engagement rule is agift and can be kept. As he effectively broke the engagement with his cheating I believe I have the right to keep it under US law as well but want to know how much trouble he can cause for me....
Thanks guys
Kris
Hi,
I'm the benificiary of a K-1 petition and I have just found out that my fiance has been cheating on me the last month or so with various girls and also advertised for casual sex on a sex & swingers personal internet site.
As such the engagement is off and I now need to know how to withdraw the petition (he has refused)
Also as I refused to give the ring back, he has started threatening me, to the point I am changing my cell phone today, and says he will sue me, put a debt collection agency onto me for the cost & has reported it to the police stolen and says that he knows a way to have me barred from the US forever.
I am travelling to the US for Xmas as he convinced me to buy a ticket to see him last week and its non refundable so I was planning to use it to see me brother in SF.
He has said that if he tracks me down up there he will beat me up.
Aside from the physical threats I am concerned that he will cause problems for me at the POE..
My question is - is it possible for him to do these things to me?
I am a lawyer in NZ and I know that the rule is that engagement rule is agift and can be kept. As he effectively broke the engagement with his cheating I believe I have the right to keep it under US law as well but want to know how much trouble he can cause for me....
Thanks guys
Kris
Dec 1st 2003, 12:42 am
#33
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Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 90
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Seriously guys none of this is exaggerated & I can't imagine his side of the story would mitigate the circumstances....
Anyway, thank you for your kind wishes & support, my life will go on and as they say the best revenge is to live well...
Krissy
Anyway, thank you for your kind wishes & support, my life will go on and as they say the best revenge is to live well...
Krissy
Dec 1st 2003, 1:11 am
#34
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Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 58,679
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Hi Krissy
Just wanted to add my sympathies to your predicament. Don't feel bad about hacking his hotmail account. I once had to do something similar to protect my best interests, also, and at the time felt very bad about "trespassing", but in the end was glad I found out what I did and dumped the guy. I hope it all works out for you to come to the states to visit family. You deserve at least that, after all you've been through.
Best Wishes!
Rene
Just wanted to add my sympathies to your predicament. Don't feel bad about hacking his hotmail account. I once had to do something similar to protect my best interests, also, and at the time felt very bad about "trespassing", but in the end was glad I found out what I did and dumped the guy. I hope it all works out for you to come to the states to visit family. You deserve at least that, after all you've been through.
Best Wishes!
Rene
Dec 1st 2003, 1:26 am
#35
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Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
>He came down twice for a few months here and proposed....
So in other words he proposed to you on your Turf and laws, Right?
So in other words he proposed to you on your Turf and laws, Right?
Dec 1st 2003, 1:30 am
#36
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Posts: n/a
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
>> He emailed me photos this morning of all the girls he's slept with in
>> the last month. They are all gorgeous so its not doing much for my ego
>> right now...
>> Krissy
>Krissy...
>What a FREAK!!!
>Like Leslie said, he's probably lying. At least partially...
Remember what they say, the ones that talk about it the most, get it the least
>> the last month. They are all gorgeous so its not doing much for my ego
>> right now...
>> Krissy
>Krissy...
>What a FREAK!!!
>Like Leslie said, he's probably lying. At least partially...
Remember what they say, the ones that talk about it the most, get it the least
Dec 1st 2003, 1:56 am
#37
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 90
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Yep - its defiantely on my turf now & he should know not to try and screw a lawyer - especially when its a lawyer scorned!!!!
Just heard back from the US consulate here - they are very sympathetic to my story and assure me that if the petition comes here it will be ignored & gave me advice that he can not have me barred but suggest for future travel that I bring docs with me to show that i intend to return.
I can't get a restraining order unless I'm up there & the threats are real & immediate....but I do feel better that at least the consulate is aware of the situation...
Kris
Just heard back from the US consulate here - they are very sympathetic to my story and assure me that if the petition comes here it will be ignored & gave me advice that he can not have me barred but suggest for future travel that I bring docs with me to show that i intend to return.
I can't get a restraining order unless I'm up there & the threats are real & immediate....but I do feel better that at least the consulate is aware of the situation...
Kris
Dec 1st 2003, 2:00 am
#38
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Joined: Jan 2003
Location: PA - Philadelphia DO
Posts: 460
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by krissyv
Yep - its defiantely on my turf now & he should know not to try and screw a lawyer - especially when its a lawyer scorned!!!!
Just heard back from the US consulate here - they are very sympathetic to my story and assure me that if the petition comes here it will be ignored & gave me advice that he can not have me barred but suggest for future travel that I bring docs with me to show that i intend to return.
I can't get a restraining order unless I'm up there & the threats are real & immediate....but I do feel better that at least the consulate is aware of the situation...
Kris
Yep - its defiantely on my turf now & he should know not to try and screw a lawyer - especially when its a lawyer scorned!!!!
Just heard back from the US consulate here - they are very sympathetic to my story and assure me that if the petition comes here it will be ignored & gave me advice that he can not have me barred but suggest for future travel that I bring docs with me to show that i intend to return.
I can't get a restraining order unless I'm up there & the threats are real & immediate....but I do feel better that at least the consulate is aware of the situation...
Kris
Just wanted to say I'm sorry but glad to hear that the consulate heard you out on this.
Dec 1st 2003, 3:55 am
#39
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,041
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by Dekka's Angel
P.S. I just realized your fiance is in California. The statute that governs is Civil Code 1590, and it requires return of the ring unless there is a court finding that you don't have to give it back:
"Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a gift of money or property to the other on the basis or assumption that the marriage will take place, in the event that the donee refuses to enter into the marriage as contemplated or that it is given up by mutual consent, the donor may recover such gift or such part of its value as may, under all of the circumstances of the case, be found by a court or jury to be just".
P.S. I just realized your fiance is in California. The statute that governs is Civil Code 1590, and it requires return of the ring unless there is a court finding that you don't have to give it back:
"Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a gift of money or property to the other on the basis or assumption that the marriage will take place, in the event that the donee refuses to enter into the marriage as contemplated or that it is given up by mutual consent, the donor may recover such gift or such part of its value as may, under all of the circumstances of the case, be found by a court or jury to be just".
Caroline
PS: In France, I am sure that the ring has to be returned no matter what if it is a "family jewel" (i.e. that has been in the family before). If it has been purchased new for the fiancee, then I am not sure. Not that it is of much interest, but just thought I would point this out.
Dec 1st 2003, 4:10 am
#40
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Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Barry wrote:
>>>He emailed me photos this morning of all the girls he's slept with in
>>>the last month. They are all gorgeous so its not doing much for my ego
>>>right now...
>>>Krissy
>>Krissy...
>>What a FREAK!!!
>>Like Leslie said, he's probably lying. At least partially...
>
>
>
> Remember what they say, the ones that talk about it the most, get it the least
I would also hope that she practiced safe sex with the guy.
>>>He emailed me photos this morning of all the girls he's slept with in
>>>the last month. They are all gorgeous so its not doing much for my ego
>>>right now...
>>>Krissy
>>Krissy...
>>What a FREAK!!!
>>Like Leslie said, he's probably lying. At least partially...
>
>
>
> Remember what they say, the ones that talk about it the most, get it the least
I would also hope that she practiced safe sex with the guy.
Dec 1st 2003, 4:32 am
#41
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 90
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
sadly , no....
Will be going to a clinic soon
Will be going to a clinic soon
Dec 1st 2003, 4:40 am
#42
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Posts: n/a
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
"sibsie" <member17406@british_expats.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Originally posted by janadeen
> (oh, where is that rule that you mentioned, about keeping the ring -
> I've never seen or heard that - just curious - I've actually always
> heard the opposite) This was one of the bizarre things I had to
> cover at police training school. Probably because we'd get called to so
> many domestics.
According to Miss Manners and also the Book of Etiquette, if the engagement
ends for any reason the ring goes back to the giver.... for whatever that's
worth.
--
Because I Fly, I Envy No One.
news:[email protected]...
> Originally posted by janadeen
> (oh, where is that rule that you mentioned, about keeping the ring -
> I've never seen or heard that - just curious - I've actually always
> heard the opposite) This was one of the bizarre things I had to
> cover at police training school. Probably because we'd get called to so
> many domestics.
According to Miss Manners and also the Book of Etiquette, if the engagement
ends for any reason the ring goes back to the giver.... for whatever that's
worth.
--
Because I Fly, I Envy No One.
Dec 1st 2003, 4:53 am
#43
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 38
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
As a man if my fiance'e and I split Iwouldn't expect to get the engagement ring back. That being said I still think the right thing to do is give it back. Imho it is a promise to marry and if there is no marriage it should be given back. The idea that it should be used as compensation is ludicrous. any expenses you may have from the relationship are just part of the risk anyone takes in the highly risky practice of love. I agree the guy is an asshole and probably deserves it but that doesn't make it right.
Dec 1st 2003, 4:59 am
#44
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Booger wrote:
> "sibsie" <member17406@british_expats.com> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>>Originally posted by janadeen
>>(oh, where is that rule that you mentioned, about keeping the ring -
>>I've never seen or heard that - just curious - I've actually always
>>heard the opposite) This was one of the bizarre things I had to
>>cover at police training school. Probably because we'd get called to so
>>many domestics.
>
>
> According to Miss Manners and also the Book of Etiquette, if the engagement
> ends for any reason the ring goes back to the giver.... for whatever that's
> worth.
>
What does Miss Manners and the Book of Etiquette say about the guy
sleeping around? Why should only one person play by the "rules"...
Whatever the police training the previous poster might have had, this is
a civil matter and it would depends on the laws of the jurisdiction.
If he gave her the ring in NZ and the engagement commenced in NZ, it
would be by whatever the law is there, the Law of the Kiwi.......
> "sibsie" <member17406@british_expats.com> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>>Originally posted by janadeen
>>(oh, where is that rule that you mentioned, about keeping the ring -
>>I've never seen or heard that - just curious - I've actually always
>>heard the opposite) This was one of the bizarre things I had to
>>cover at police training school. Probably because we'd get called to so
>>many domestics.
>
>
> According to Miss Manners and also the Book of Etiquette, if the engagement
> ends for any reason the ring goes back to the giver.... for whatever that's
> worth.
>
What does Miss Manners and the Book of Etiquette say about the guy
sleeping around? Why should only one person play by the "rules"...
Whatever the police training the previous poster might have had, this is
a civil matter and it would depends on the laws of the jurisdiction.
If he gave her the ring in NZ and the engagement commenced in NZ, it
would be by whatever the law is there, the Law of the Kiwi.......
Dec 1st 2003, 5:11 am
#45
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
krissyv wrote:
> sadly , no....
>
> Will be going to a clinic soon
>
Krissy... you are in no way obligated to share this kind of information
here.
> sadly , no....
>
> Will be going to a clinic soon
>
Krissy... you are in no way obligated to share this kind of information
here.