What does getting married acheive?


Clean house.
Washed and ironed clothes.
Meals cooked
Regular shag.
Rubbish put out.
Lawn mowed.
Shopping done.
Xmas tree decorated.
Snow fron drive clered.
Beer purcahced from shop by wife,
Beer put into fridge by wife.
Beer brought to sofa by wife when watching football.
Beer can aken away by wife when unconscious.

Ideally, what I'd want from a marriage is a woman who is good at peeling fruit. Apples, oranges, pears...etc. Sometimes I even like my plums peeled.

Does anyone remember the episode of Airport where the American gentleman from Chicago told Heathrow security he had a machine gun in his violin case.

That resulted in a night in the cells, every airline at Heathrow refusing to carry him and a lot of hassle before we finally persuaded Air India to take him home to Chicago. He never did understand what had caused all the commotion.

Darn I miss out on one of those

lol, DH does all that crap.

You forgot one: Be a human spellchecker.

~ Jenney

Actually, I was thinking of Jimmy Soul's If You Want To Be Happy -- but the official lyrics seem to omit a line that I am certain was there!

Getting married achieves the right to moan constantly at your spouse

I *knew* I got ripped off!
dammit

Hi:

Ah, the difference between the UK and the US dialects of the English language. Out of curiousity, were you referring the dance or to tobacco?

I always thought a shag was a type of bird.............

... and to be moaned at ...

Also, if the OP is planning on making lots of money after he is married he should be aware that California is a community property state.

I refer to my wife as "the bird" ...To her face. She thinks it's sweet. LOL

I would guess that you are not married

Sadely I would not be surpised.