Hello everyone, I think it's been years since I've posted on here, but am finding myself once again in a situation that's becoming more frequent as the years go by. This will probably be more of a rambled rant than anything but I've got to start somewhere, right?
I miss London! I've lived here in the US for 21 years now. My husband and I have talked about moving back (he's American) often but got held up by the children's ages and education. Now, my children are 18 and 20 and my husband and I are discussing divorce, separation at best. I went back to London for 2 weeks last February and absolutely HATED leaving to return. I went back to London again in September and stayed 2 months, loving every minute of it (granted I stayed with my Mum so it was easier than it could have been). I reconnected with friends from 21 years ago as if it were yesterday, on both visits and got on better with them than anyone in this country. Just the music, the shared upbringings, sense of humour etc, overwhelming really.
So now I'm faced with an impending divorce (my idea) and leaving my 2 "children" behind, which is absolutely breaking my heart. Yes, they might move over eventually, or not, who knows, it's their lives they have to live, not mine. The thought of not being in their lives constantly, seeing and knowing future grandchildren, tears me apart, but the thought of staying here does the same thing. I have not obtained US citizenship, haven't wanted to, but I do realise that it's probably the smartest thing to do if I want to leave, or I'll be restricted to 6 months max out of the country, and what if I change my mind after that argh?
How exactly does it effect one, moving back to the UK with American citizenship? Does it effect the HRT or anything?
Yes, definitely more of a rant... x

Hi Sarah, well you are in the right place for a rant.

I am heading back home after 30 years in Oz, only 4 more sleeps to go.

I am staying with my daughter, her fiance and her kids for my last week and it is going to KILL me leaving them all behind, but like you I can't hack it any longer. I have already told them I don't want them at the airport, every time I think of Saturday and leaving I can feel myself tear up.

My daughter is 39 and her kids are 15 and 13 and it hurts like mad, but I will go dotty living here in Australia as I am so disconnected and detached from everything.

Good luck in whatever you do. Ain't life tough sometimes?

So it doesnt get easier then lol, as they get older..... Absolutely hate everything about this, my husband is a great man, who's willing to move back with me, I just can't do it anymore, neither do I want to put him through (in England) how I've felt over here for so long, and yes, I do believe that's how it would go. We've grown apart over the years, in a big way, which doesnt help. My kids, argh, it's killing me, it's stopping me, for now, but I can't keep it up, I know I have to go back, thanks for replying, every little helps x

Nope not easier at all as you see YOUR life being sacrificed for those you love who probably couldnt give two hoots about how you feel about things. I reckon once the kids are grown and gone your life is your own to do with what you want. I have one in UK and one in Aus - you never can tell where the kids will end up and they will take off wherever and whenever they want and never give you a thought.

32 years next month for me - you get less of a sentence for murder (maybe I should have tried that instead!!)

That can and does happen. I don't know the in's and out's of getting US citizenship but if it is something you can do relatively easily than it can't be bad thing, can it? I think we all get the dreaded "what if I regret moving back" thoughts and it's always good to keep the door open just in case.

We love London too but we can't afford to live there, being an hour by train is good enough for us. You have done 2 months recently and that should be enough time to know it's no rose tinted spectacles doing the thinking.

Good luck. Plenty on this board know what you going through.

Sarah,

After 21 years of being in the US I think it's very important you do get citizenship, that way you can come and go to the US whenever you want.

As far as I am aware it shouldn't affect your status should you choose to live in the UK, I assume you are a British citizen? If so then you are entitled to live and work in the UK. Any other citizenship you hold should have no bearing on that.

Getting US citizenship is pretty painless and quick these days, so I suggest you start the ball rolling as soon as possible. Read the info on the USCIS website here

Thank you all , yes, I'm a British Citizen Sue, proud of it lol, which is why I could never bring myself to pledge allegiance etc (not even with my fingers crossed) I've nothing against this country but the pull to go home is overwhelming, however, the ability to come and go at will can only benefit me really, I'll probably always have 2 homes now. Thanks for the link!
Quoll, you're right, who knows where my kids will end up, I seriously doubt it will be anywhere near the village we live in, where they've grown up, it doesnt "fit" them much more than it does me.
Gmralston, I seriously doubt I could afford London either lol, I've looked at rentals in many areas, I think a visit with my Mum in Hampstead is a sure bet til I get on my feet (presuming I actually leave) altho I'd really love to be in Camden this weekend, lots going on
Beedubya, thanks again x

Hi sarah..... I sent you a private message.......in answer to another thread......had not seen this.
You have no idea how your story is like mine!
I was in the UK Feb last year and for 2 months in September!! My children are same ages too.

Hi Sarah, I also have the same situation going on. i have been here since 1987 met my husband (ex) had 2 children now 21 and 17. I miss home so much and part of me want to go back when my son graduates high school and joins the military. I also feel torn do I go or do I stay... I don't like it here, I lost my job, lost everything I had... my credit rating went down, have no health insurance.... I feel torn about leaving my kids behind... some advice would be appreciated...

It's a very difficult one this one.

I have to agree with a previous poster and say:
a) Your children will make their own lives, maybe move elsewhere, and probably won't even consider where you are living.
b) Your children will always mean more to yuo than you than you do to them (think about your own feelings about your own parents)
c) Ultimately you have to do what is best for you. Every year you are somewhere you don't want to be is a year less being where you DO want to be. I know it is logic, but it has to be recognised.

One thing I would ask is, have you looked at the financial implications of moving back? do you know if you will be able to support yourself long term?

I can really identify with what you say about the feeling of belonging when you return home. However, one thing I have realised I need to accept is that there are lots of crap things about UK which you have to work your head around. Getting the mindset right is really important.

I am moving back in Summer 2012 and already trying to get this aspect of things (the mindset) sorted!

If your husband is nice and is willing to move back with you, why not at least try it? Men don't seem to have the same hang-ups about place that we do, in general. He might love it in London.

I agree with this. An international move is stressful enough without also adding a separation into the mix. Plus the adventure might bring you both closer together. If it doesn't, or he hates it, he can always move back to the US later.