Kittycat

Here is my situation: My ongoing employment based GC process is
currently pending at I-485. I am currently using my EAD to work. My
employer is also sponsoring my spouse's GC through this program. She is
currently in India on parole. Our marriage has been disastrous right
from the start. She has almost turned me insane. I want out. I am
secretly working on filing for legal separation in India while she is
still there.

The parole visa she used to travel to India has recently expired. Her
renewal papers have not been approved yet. It is still being processed.
Her assumption is, when it gets approved, I will give her (in person or
through mail) the renewed approvals so that she can use it to re-enter.

Here are my questions: What would happen if I were not to give her the
renewed parole visa? She won't be able to re-enter the US, right? What
are her rights for re-entry? We have a US born child. She can't use
that to re-enter, right? Can she put my green card into jeopardy?

My plan is to keep her out of the US for an extended period. File for
legal separation in India. Notify the INS of our legal separation. Will
this help me get rid of her from my life?

Somebody please help!

scrubbedexpat099

I remember reading a case some time back where the husband had persuaded the wife to leave in similar circumstances, she had no AP, divorced her and then she was stuck with no way back.

There were trying to get her Humanitarian Parole because of the divorce and the child left in the US.

I would only say that she has issues trying to get back in without valid AP, usually down to the POE, must be a long shot for her to re-enter.

Folinskyinla

Hi:

Your facts are quite confused. You seem to say she is outside of the country yet has an advance parole application pending. This is a legal oxymoron.

In any case, I do not plan to answer your question.

Noorah101

I'm just guessing here, but I think that since you have a child together, it will be very hard to get rid of her from your life. She will always have a place in your life as your child's mother, and she will most likely fight to at least see her child.

Why only a legal separation? Why not make it more clear by getting a divorce? Just curious.

Rene

snowbunny

Where is your child or children?

With their mother in India, or with you in the US?

If they are with their mother, odds are that if you go this route, they too will live in India. If they are here, and you intentionally deny their mother the right to live in the same country, you're going to answer to the court and to your children as to why you chose to exclude her.

It sounds as if you do not want to face her -- believe me, at some point you'll have to. Suck it up and deal fairly with her -- even if you don't feel she's been fair to you.

As to your immigration questions -- this is complicated. Speak to an immigration attorney or your company's counsel. If they're sponsoring you and your wife, they need to know what's going on.

Kittycat

She flew out of the country when she had a valid AP. But that AP has
expired now. Her application for the AP renewal is not approved yet.
She can't re-enter until it is approved or, until I hand her the
approvals. I hope now it makes sense.

Folinskyinla wrote:
    > > Here is my situation: My ongoing employment based GC process is
    > > currently pending at I-485. I am currently using my EAD to work. My
    > > employer is also sponsoring my spouse's GC through this program. She
    > > is
    > > currently in India on parole. Our marriage has been disastrous right
    > > from the start. She has almost turned me insane. I want out. I am
    > > secretly working on filing for legal separation in India while she is
    > > still there.
    > >
    > > The parole visa she used to travel to India has recently
    > > expired. Her
    > > renewal papers have not been approved yet. It is still being
    > > processed.
    > > Her assumption is, when it gets approved, I will give her (in
    > > person or
    > > through mail) the renewed approvals so that she can use it to
    > > re-enter.
    > >
    > > Here are my questions: What would happen if I were not to give her the
    > > renewed parole visa? She won't be able to re-enter the US, right? What
    > > are her rights for re-entry? We have a US born child. She can't use
    > > that to re-enter, right? Can she put my green card into jeopardy?
    > >
    > > My plan is to keep her out of the US for an extended period. File for
    > > legal separation in India. Notify the INS of our legal separation.
    > > Will
    > > this help me get rid of her from my life?
    > >
    > > Somebody please help!
    > Hi:
    > Your facts are quite confused. You seem to say she is outside of the
    > country yet has an advance parole application pending. This is a
    > legal oxymoron.
    > In any case, I do not plan to answer your question.
    > --
    > Certified Specialist
    > Immigration & Nat. Law
    > Cal. Bar Board of Legal Specialization
    > Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Kittycat

You are right. We have a boy who is around 4. I know I can't erase the
fact that she will always be my child's mother. But I want to save the
child from his mom. She is incapable of bringing him up. Long story
short... I want to get rid of her from my life (and the US) before she
gets the green card. If I don't do something now, I shall be doomed for
life if she gets the GC.

Should I file for legal separation or straight divorce? Which one might
be more effective in proving to the INS that her green card application
has no basis?

Noorah101 wrote:
    > I'm just guessing here, but I think that since you have a child
    > together, it will be very hard to get rid of her from your life. She
    > will always have a place in your life as your child's mother, and she
    > will most likely fight to at least see her child.
    > Why only a legal separation? Why not make it more clear by getting a
    > divorce? Just curious.
    >
    > Rene
    >
    > --
    > Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Kittycat

snowbunny wrote:
    > Where is your child or children?
    > With their mother in India, or with you in the US?

My son is currently with his mom in India. But I am planning to bring
(just) him back., as he is US citizen.

    > If they are with their mother, odds are that if you go this route,
    > they too will live in India. If they are here, and you intentionally
    > deny their mother the right to live in the same country, you're going
    > to answer to the court and to your children as to why you chose to
    > exclude her.
    > It sounds as if you do not want to face her -- believe me, at some point
    > you'll have to. Suck it up and deal fairly with her -- even if you
    > don't feel she's been fair to you.

I have sucked it up for over 5 years now. If I try to suck up anymore,
I would blow up. She is after my green card. She doesn't love me. She
doesn't trust me. She doesn' respect me. She is not grateful for what I
have done for her and her people back home when they needed me. She's
had it all... no more of it.

    > As to your immigration questions -- this is complicated. Speak to an
    > immigration attorney or your company's counsel. If they're sponsoring
    > you and your wife, they need to know what's going on.
My company's counsel have not agreed to work with me on this as they
think it is a conflict of interest. I need to seek outside
help..meaning, my own IA.

    > --
    > Posted via http://britishexpats.com

scrubbedexpat099

Difficult to see an Indian Court giving custody of the child to a father in these circumstances. Just working on the basis that it would follow British law.

As far as a US Court is concerned, that court can not make someone sponsor someone else for residency.

Sounds like he needs his own US Immigration Lawyer and Indian Divorce Lawyer.

By the sound of it she can only adjust as his Spouse, so if they are Divorced she has no basis for entry.

Well sounds logical.

ian-mstm

You need to separate her role as "wife" from her role as "mother". Just because you see her as a bad wife for you, does not mean she'll be a bad mother for him. One does not equal the other.


I'd be interested in knowing how you plan to do this.


Umm... that's not possible.


Ah... and finally the truth comes out! You believe that she should be grateful to you... and she isn't - and now your testosterone is getting the better of you.

Ian

Ray

Exactly the bit that stared out at me .........

CarlM

I bet you have loads of friends, dont you?

Folinskyinla

Hi:

Got it. You don't know immigration law.

bionomique

Aside from the immigration issue, why would exacerbate the situation and place the relationship yopu have with your son in jeopardy? There's an obvious way to remove your wife from your daily life. That involves divorce, and if she is able to remain in the country as a result of your procrastination, then why shouldn't she? You've known for years that this was not working, isn't it your own issue that you did not draw the line some time ago? Why should your son be stripped of the opportunity to know his mother?

If she has some shortcomings in the mother role model department at this time, what do you think a prank like this would do to the relationship you have with your son, until such time that you *might* be successful in bringing him back to the USA?

Just Jenney

I'd like to quote a post that someone wrote on another thread about a similar situation:

"How long have you both been married? Have you both been to a marriage counsellor? If not, I think you both should give that a sincere shot. Before you go, I strongly suggest you to make a list of your real issues with [her]. Please ask your [wife] to do the same. If you did not prepare, you can get highly emotional during the session and lose your focus. In most cases, counselling really helps. Please do all you can to save the marriage, before thinking on other lines."

Have you done any of that? Because it sounds like you haven't, since you are trying to file for legal separation "in secret". Instead it sounds like you are trying to blindside her and abruptly end your marriage. At the very least you should TELL her what your plans are. It's the decent thing to do, especially since you have a child together.

~ Jenney

ps. Oh, wait... YOU wrote the post I quoted above. How ironic...