Circus-of-Power

If your entering via a K3 visa send the paperwork in ASAP you'll have the EAD in no time at all

swiggy1030

Wish i was back,came here in 66,took me this long to realise it.Miss the social life and going to the village square to watch them burning witches or has that been outlawed since i left,is beer still six pence a pint

lj2

Hey, just thought I would wish you all the best. Not too much to say that hasn't already been said but I too am heading out to the States and leaving behind a life I am very happy with here in the UK. I will be living in Chicago from 1 March 08 so if you ever fancy a big City weekend away, you are more than welcome to get in touch and stay with me (I should be getting a 2 bed appt). Seriously.
In fact, I have pretty much exactly the same circumstances other than the marriage. I am relatively young (25) and I have a USC gf of 1 year now based in MN and I would hope that our relationship could develop by my moving there, I will also be transferring a large sum of ££ (£1,000) back each month to repay old loans and am nervously watching the exchange rate wipe out most of my free cash each month! All I would say is to make sure you leave your employers knowing there would be a job about if you need one in the future, keep in touch with your UK friends as they will still be here in 2, 5 or 10 years if you need them, and then just enjoy everything that is good about the States (and there is a lot of stuff!).
If you are not too close to your family that might make things easier but be warned you may still miss them not being around. You will have bad times, you will struggle with homesickness sometimes but just remember it is normal and doesn't mean you have made the wrong choice. Sit down in a year's time and think about the choices you have made, that will be when you will know whether you made the right choice. Don’t be rash.
Feel free to PM me if you wanna stay in touch or anything and, once again, good luck.

britex01

Knight, I have learned that 'family' in the US is far more apron-stringed than in the UK, so much so that if you marry a US lady, expect 'baggage' and perhaps, little compromise. I speak only from personal experience, however, as I'm sure this won't, hopefully, apply to the entire US population.

Church is fundamentally, social - AND anti-social! My wife's family are Souhern Baptist (do you know there's over 900 SB churches in the DFW area alone! Unbelievable! Houston - 1000! ... )

I live no man-made religion. I retain my own convictions. My wife bounces between me and her family in this context. Although she loved living in the UK and visiting the Continent, she couldn't settle in the UK, even for two/three years, without living 'one foot here and one foot over there'. It was hard on us both. She is now back in the States... still communicating, however.

Remember, the whirlwind of romance and marriage, very soon begins to focus on practicalities, status quo, and a host of what we have generally become accustomed to in life. If I now join my wife over there for a 'trial run' I will ensure an 'escape route' is set in place, just in case. I'm a more versatile-minded individual than my wife, so things may smooth out. Plus I enjoyed my visits over there ... Yee Haw!

Women are craven images, ol' son!! ... ... NEVER forget that! ... ... But hey, like most men, I'm a glutton for the most severe of 'punishable'
offences!!!

..... At the end of the day, tis all down to the individual....

Tracym

Hi lj2 - and welcome (in advance) to Chicago.

You and the girlfriend will have a bit of a commute still (though I've done the drive in a day I guess). Good luck!

Tracym

Family.... well that varies here I think.

In general, if a family is close here, it sounds like it involves a bit more obligation than in the UK (from what I hear).

My best friend would talk to her mother most days, and they do all sorts of things together. Her witch-in-law (mother-in-law) comes to dinner every sunday.

In other cases.... I really have no family. A few stray cousins that I talk to occasionally.

So I think it depends, but for good or for bad... family can be quite important to folks.

Church being the social scene - that does vary a lot in different parts of the country. I don't really ever hear much about church where I live. They are available of course, but not in your face.

btw.... we do NOT say "Yee Haw" - well maybe in Texas.... maybe.....

But you go for it!

anotherlimey

I was in the same situation once... I was also in Chicago.

lj2

How did it go? (no obligation to reply of course!)

lj2

Thank you very much, the welcome is appreciated. I did the drive myself back in February and once I got through Chicago (4 hours!) it took me 7 hours including a fuel stop in Wisconsin and I actually quite enjoyed the drive. It is only an hour and a half on the plane though and I reckon seeing her once a fortnight(ish) should be enough for now. Certainly a lot more than we currently do (approx once per qtr average) and it will still allow me the space to decide for myself if I want to live in the States in my own right... we shall see!

anotherlimey

I moved to Chicago when I was 24, spent a long 18 months on my own (my g/f was from Miami) which really sucked, eventually I got engaged to my USC g/f, I moved to Miami (with the help of my very kind employer) and we got married last year.

Long distance relationships suck even more when you're living on your own with no family nearby, I very nearly moved back to the UK once, but I stuck at it and got here in the end.

britex01

Interesting... I'm wising-up a wee better on the uncertainities, as it were. I'm glad I joined this forum and met folk like your goodself, ma'am...

So where you're at, Church is not in your face, eh? Unlike Texas. But then, not all Texans 'comply'.

I appreciate family ties, of course, some more dependant than others. I'm not 'dependant', however, never have been, in fact all that remains of family today (as such) is my 20+ year old daughter from a long dead relationship. Other than that, like you... just a few scattered cousins. But where today, I haven't a clue.

"Witch-in-Law" ... I like that! ...

In my wife's case, I had to contend with the 'witch-family' from 6000 friggin' miles away! Now how's that for living in the States when I ain't actually living there?? ..

Have a sunshine day ...

Mike

Rete

Don't know the name of the town in MS you will be relocating to but I have a daughter who is a transplanted New Yorker who lives in Hattiesburg and has acclimated well to the area. Hattiesburg has much in the way of culture to offer (not New York, of course) but more so than smaller town in MS. There are art galleries, plays, museums, a small zoo, University of Southern Mississippi. They take football very very seriously there. She doesn't find religion to be an issue in her area but I imagine it might be in smaller enclaves.

She and her husband and son spend a lot of time in Jackson and Meridian. They own a thriving business in Meridian and property on the beach in Long Beach which is currently being redeveloped after being decimated by Katrina.

Her neighbors are nice and ironically, the people across from her are from Connecticut and the ones on the left are immigrants from Turkey and to her right is a couple whose husband is based at Fort Shelby and is now in Iraq. Just to prove that interracial relationships don't seem to be an issue, these neighbors are a mixed race couple with a 2 month old child.

Depending on where in the state you are relocating, you will also have access to New Orleans so there will be big city life and culture for you to enjoy. There are the casinos in Biloxi and the towns of Gulfport and Long Beach have passed laws allowing gambling on land as well.

Good luck with your relocation and acclimation to the state. I know it will be a big adjustment. Just keep an open mind and lay back and watch the locals for a while.

Rete

I have to agree from a personal point of view as well on this.

I am very very family oriented. It was taught to us by my German born and raised mother who married a Yank after the war and emigrated to the US after I was born.

In our house growing up, family was everything. Holidays, birthdays, special occasions, i.e. graduation, etc. were always spent with family. When one parent has 8 living brothers and sisters, that is a lot of family.

Both my sister and I carried this over to our respective marriages. My sister took responsibility for housing and caring for our parents when they got older and their health declined since she had the resources and housing capabilities to do so.

My Canadian husband finds the inclusion of family in our lives upsetting. He does not have a close relationship with his family, not even his son, and if he talks with them 3 or 4 times a year, that is a lot. So you can imagine how hard it was for him to adjust to spending Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. with my family.

You make compromises and by the time your kids are born you can start your own family traditions which may or may not include her family. At least if she is agreeable to it. All a matter of getting use to being married and thinking as a couple rather than as a single person. It takes patience and time.

Tracym

The thing is - as far as compromises...

I would suspect that someone who has had their family close, and included often would not view that as a matter for (much) compromise.

I suspect for those who have a close family (and I must admit I wish I had one) it's just a fact of life, not optional. Not every single person of course, but it's what I've seen.

So it probably is a big adjustment for the person who is not used to close families.

Tracym

Nice to meet you too! If you're ever around Chicago....

Now does this just look like a witch-in-law? Her face just fit in there perfectly....