SecretGarden

Hi All,
This is quite a couple of days Mr. Pink and I have had. We've had Leslie's thread wishing us Good Luck on the interview; I posted early this morning after hearing that he had, indeed, had success today in London, and he's posted his experience under "a day in London (long)" during which he details his days in the big city and attempts to describe the places and processes that are seen as so scary to those going through this time!

Most of you are probably thinking, "oh god, another post from *THOSE* two! Egad, skip over it....*. I understand that that's a real possibility, but for those of you who hang in with me here, I think I have something valuable to say. I hope so, at least.

First off, brief history. Mr. P and I joined this group in Sept. of 02, and at that time my divorce was just final, his was just starting. We had been part of a relationship for well over two years even by that time, and knew that this process was going to be as slow as molasses. You can know that intellectually and when those lonely and sad times come it's very hard to be academic about it. His divorce was estimated to take three months. It took a total of nine.

Through all of that I wish I could say it was just smooth sailing. We had two visits which were wonderful but I remember feeling as if I had just been gutted when leaving him at the airport. At that point you cling onto any family members or friends who can even *pretend* to understand this process (when you can't even explain it yourself sometimes.......sigh) and rely on them more than you ever thought you would rely on anyone. You go to anyone at all who shows any amount of interest in you or your angst. That includes NG people of course, perhaps your most receptive and understanding audience, eh?

Last May his divorce was final and the I129F went in. We had to deal with Nebraska, and at the time they were in a major slowdown because of asylee AOS apps. While we never begrudged any of those applicants getting attention the wait was emotionally excruciating all the while intellectually understandable. We were lucky in that I was able to visit him in July and November----but as all of you know, that joy is bittersweet. The leaving on the plane at least temporarily negates the joy of the being together. Such a double edged sword, isn't it?

After 181 days at NSC the approval came, and today, he was issued the K1 visa. There is such a feeling of relief on my part (even though I know we have POE and AOS to get through yet, as well as a wedding! GASP!) but the point is that now we will have the *luxury* of facing normal life's challenges together and face to face. Able to hold a hand when one is needed, able to stroke a cheek when a tear is falling, either due to sorrow or joy. We haven't been able to have that and look so forward to the *touch* of the one we love to enlighten us, to awaken us, to fill us with what we are meant to be.

I'm sorry if I've gone on and on, but I've had an entire bottle of celebratory champagne on my own tonight, and thanking God above for this day, and to be honest, even thanking God for the waiting. It has taught me to be oh so humble, and oh so thankful in the face of abundance.

We are the last of the group from a year ago.......Patrick, ScarlettHill, Katesuiter, cindyabs, and all the rest of you from last fall.......we watched you all succeed and cheered you on, and are so grateful for your support (the oldies as well as the currents to the group). We felt in posting that we were giving something back, and we hope that you have felt so while reading our writings.

Our lives have turned around because of the combination of fact and love on this board, and we are forever grateful to each and every one of you.

~With Love,
~SecretGarden
~and Mr. Pink
Wedding date April 3, 2004
(and yes, we'll post pics.......being the egomaniacs that we are..... )

sphyrapicus

Very touching sentiments. I wish the two of you well.

Leslie

Aaaawwwww girl, this is the third time I've cried today.

I surf around expats sometimes when I'm bored and I see a bunch of empty forums. When I come here, I see it is packed like sardines. My take on it? Love and support. We are all here because we love a foreigner and are looking for support. The wonderful and unexpected thing is that sometimes we find some love with those supporting us.

I am also so grateful to all of you that have helped me along the way. What a long strange trip it's been.

Leslie

WiAnSiempre

SG,

Ok, now you have me sobbing The feelings you describe are so true to what all of us here feel, the separation from our loved one, just the everyday things that we miss, the celebrating for other NG'ers on their approvals, etc. You two have really been through a Looooong wait and I wanted to say Congrats and very best wishes for your new Life TOGETHER. What a wonderful feeling. I think you said something else that is very important (at least to me) - while the waiting is sometimes unbearable, I think it makes for a very STRONG relationship in the end and teaches us patience and understanding.

Cheers to you both!

Angela

katie4998

Geez...don't go bringing a tear to my eye That was so eloquently put, SecretGarden...I'm so very happy for the two of you that you've finally crossed this hurdle and are moving quickly towards being together forever. And yes, you BETTER post pictures of the wedding - you know how much all of us adore the diversion of a photo link!

JanFree

Secret Garden....
Just when I think that no one could possibly comprehend what the process and separation is like...I read your words. I am so touched by what you wrote, and relate to it all. I have posted a few things on here but realize that I do not have the friendship that many of you have developed through the months of waiting, it's very special. Even though I personally am not part of the group of friends here, I do know how we all have so much in common. I read the postings of questions, the problems, the heartaches and many times want to respond, but never so much as I do at this moment. I feel the joy you are feeling and compare it to how I will feel when my love arrives here and I know it will be just as wonderful. Thank you for sharing what is so precious to you with all of us...it helps me in more ways than you know.
With a heart and love such as yours you both deserve all the best!!! God bless and all the best for your wedding and life together.....Jane

sibsie

The support you get here is fantastic and it's so wonderful to have a group of people all going through the same thing.

SG and Mr Pink have been a great support to me and helped me through some really tricky phases when my own relationship has taken a bit of a battering from separation and when will it end anxieties.

I love hearing all the good news stories. It makes me realise that yes, this process does actually end one day. It's a long and difficult path that us in LDR's have to navigate and my upmost thanks to everyone who's helped and I hope to give my own support to everyone stuck in the system.

Now SG - what colour bridesmaid dress will I have? I don't look good in pink or yellow!

Buendia

Secret Garden -

That was so beautiful! It expressed how hard this all is, but how amazing, too, to have found someone you love and want to spend your life with... (I never, never thought it would happen for me! Had to wait 35 years just to meet him!)

So often, I'll be on this newsgroup and my husband comes in to find me crying... He says "Oh no what's the matter!?" and I just say "No, I'm happy - someone just their visa!"

OK, I'm overly sentimental... going to shut up now!

katesuiter1

Having people to talk to besides my beloved Corey helps me get through this process, and although I've never seen any of the posters here in person, I feel like I have good friendships here.

SG, posts like yours make people stop and think about how their life could be if they hadn't found the one they love, and if only for just a few minutes, we can all forget how crap this process makes us feel sometimes and realize how lucky we are.

I wish you all the best. You both deserve it so much.

Kate. xxxxxxx

CharlieS

Well I didn't cry (said in best masculine voice) but I certainly felt the sentiment of your post.
The very good thing about this NG is that there is always 100% support (unless Britney is involved) and people are always genuinely happy for you when good news arrives, even if they themselves are struggling with bad news: its what makes it comparable to a family.
Reading your post and past posts of similar nature, it helps those among us who still have a little (or long) way to go before we are re-united, and shows that at some point there is an end to it all.

I'm over the moon for you guys and hope that in years to come this process will only strengthen your relationship and help you see it out to the very end.

Many congrats and the very best of luck for your future TOGETHER!

dutchman2001nl

I didn't cry either (yet).
But I do wish you guy's all the best in your future lives

mrs.jar2b

Secret Garden!! Congratulations to you and Mr. Pink!!! I'm so happy for you and am completely touched by the words you wrote. As others have said I completely relate to what you've written (the airport departures and feelings of being gutted ring especially true as we've just experienced this last Sunday) and am very much looking forward to the day I will sit down with a bottle of champagne and tell the NG our success story as you have just done.

You and Mr. Pink hold a special place in my heart ... the two of you were the first to respond to my very first post Sept 2003, just as my (not then, but now!) husband and I were just beginning to explore how we were going to manage to live together in the same country. After your responses I knew immediately how genuine and valuable the people on this NG are.

Thank you dear SG for your beautiful words. You've brought tears to my eyes at work (not a first time!) ... tears of joy and appreciation for what we are blessed with.

Best wishes for a happy new year and best of luck with your April wedding!! I am looking forward to the photos you mentioned you'd post! Now, I need to find Mr. Pink's post so I can forward it to my honey ... his interview is still a couple months away I'm sure but he's anxious and a bit nervous already.

Love, Jackie xxx

AdiaStar

SG,

You put those feelings into words so beautifully. My eyes were welling up as I read your post. I'm not a big poster on the NG, just a bunch of stupid questions now and again, but I do read this NG everyday to see what is happening, and get happy when I see approvals.

The seperation while going through the process is unbearable(and NG's like this help a bunch!), but at that moment when you see your fiance(e)/spouse walking towards you at the airport, it was so worth the wait. Now the two of you go through the rest of the process together, which makes things easier.

Enjoy and cherish each other!
Good Luck with POE, the wedding and AOS.
AdiaStar

souls canuck

well how nice was that? and so true. I think we all come here for a bit of support for one thing or another...

it is good to see we are not alone.. that people can relate, whether you are on my screen or not.. it makes me feel better..

best of luck thru the rest of the process...

jcapulet

Ok I didn't cry and I'm not a guy ;D Tee hee...

I am really happy for you two. I can hear you so clearly when you talk about being there to face life's challenges together. A year ago, the thought of living together with Cory for years and years till we get old and wrinkly, seemed like a dream. Yet it was a dream within our grasps. And now that he's finally here, I know what happiness is. Best wishes for the wedding!!!

Juliet

p.s. will you change your name to Mrs. Pink?