Noorah101

JB,

Please don't print in blue. Use the quote feature to separate your responses.

Thank you,
Moderator

theJBs

Thanks, we are going to along with trying to guilt trip the ex husband as to how useless he actually is and how he is keeping us apart.

Under NC state law when parents separate both the mother and father are fully within their right to a custody agreement that is 7 days on 7 days off. He agreed to seeing them for the firs three weekends of the month because he agreed in the mediation that my wife was best to prepare them for school (he knows cheetos and grilled cheese is not appropriate he is just too sorry to do anything about it) The fact he has already signed the agreement to deviate away from this, we believe is a strong point for us to argue that England would be a better option.

Mr. JB

theJBs

No problem, I've just edited the posts to remove the blue

Mr. JB

Nutmegger

You should keep away from the personal and stick with the law. This is just going to make him dig his heels in more.

LondonSquirrel

A healthy diet doesn't need to include meat, just needed to point that out. My nephew is 25, has been vegetarian since birth, and is perfectly healthy.

ian-mstm

With respect, this will fail. This whole situation has nothing whatsoever to do with you... and it likely has nothing whatsoever to do with the children either. This is all about punishing his ex-wife... and both you and the children are your wife's triggers. So... here's a question: what are his triggers?

Ian

theJBs

Haha love it!!! I have a sister who is a vegetarian and she too is perfectly healthy!

Mr. JB

theJBs

You are 100% right....Money is his driving force (hence our VERY generous cash offer). Though let me get back to you with that haha because Mrs. JB has his number on that question

Mr. JB

Noorah101

Thanks. I went back in and fixed the quotes and the bold font as well. Please use the quote feature for replying to individual comments, rather than color or bold font. Makes it easier to read and is consistent with all other text.

Thank you,
Rene
Moderator

Noorah101

Does the ex really care that he is keeping you apart, though? Seems doubtful.

Rene

ian-mstm

I agree; I doubt the ex actually cares about their relationship. However, the ex-wife wants to be with her new husband - and so long as he can screw over her plans, he'll do it... even by using the children as ammunition. Indeed, especially by using the children as ammunition - because he can manipulate her to his heart's desire so long as the children are involved.

Ian

Noorah101

Then he's not going to buy into the guilt trip scenario.

Rene

ian-mstm

That may be his driving force, but that's not quite what I meant. He punishes your wife by threatening to withhold from her something she desires - in this case, the children's ability to leave the US. From his point of view, that has the ancillary benefit of limiting your immigration options which, in turn, again hurts your wife.

So, knowing that money is his driving force, how can you turn that to your advantage? Offering to give him money certainly didn't do the trick... because that doesn't hurt him at all. What will hurt him?

For example... if he pays child support and is ever late with the payment, that's grounds in NC for having his wages garnished, having tax refunds intercepted, and putting a claim on real property - until he pays up. Further, that's all public information that he probably wouldn't like see made public. Okay, I'm getting off topic a bit... but I think you can get an idea where I'm going with this. Try thinking outside the box.

Ian

Rete

Yes, it is an opinion which I can back up with experience. I have feed my girls peanut butter and jelly for dinner, lunch and sometimes for breakfast when they were growing up. Also I have feed them mountains of mac and cheese (homemade) and hot dogs and burgers and sometimes even Hamburger Helper. They are now 44 and 47 years old and healthy. I was a single mother who refused to go on welfare and didn't get child support and for several years I couldn't afford much else. Many times we had to stretch a chicken from Sunday to Thursday or a smoked ham. Most often vegetables were canned because I couldn't afford fresh. But they were healthy kids as attested to by their doctor.

So you are the step parent of the year. Bully for you! I know that much of the problem is that you are distraught, anxious and very very angry. I still say you are nitpicking the food issue. He only has them two days a week and they are getting "well balanced" meals the other 5. Pick a better argument to give the courts why he should not have visitation and/or custody of the children. Those issues won't cut it in a court of law unless you can show that their health has been comprised. Now if he sent them out to play in 30 degree weather without hats and gloves and only a sweater you have a case. Or he takes them in the car without car seats and doesn't use seat belts. Or if he drinks excessively while they are with him and he is the only adult present. These are things that will make a court view him as an unfit custodian.

theJBs

Rete - You are so far off the mark. From no where you have come onto this thread and are commenting and defending feeding children hot dogs....assuming things I have not said and even with the information in front of you, you're getting it not quite wrong but very wrong.

I have not said we would complain to the courts about what food he feeds them (I merely gave a few examples of how much of a looser he is), I have not said the ex husband should not have visitation or custody of the children (actually quite the opposite - look back in the posts and you can see I said we told the ex husband we would pay seven thousand pounds a year to send the girls back on the English school term holidays) and I am astounded that you in a previous post mention about you're 8 year old having a voice in court - only now to post that this is from either 36 or 39 years ago.

Exactly how is any of this helpful?

Criticise our decisions, scrutinise our approach and provide an alternative or shoot down our seemingly dumb questions - please do that and help us develop and move forward and in doing so help any others who come across these threads but at least be on point and relevant to what we/I have said?

Mr. JB