kuda23

well, his parents were joint sponsors since my husband couldn't pass the income requirement.
They were hesistant in the beginning to sign it and it wasn't that big of a deal for me as I had another joint-sponsor (my sister's parents in law)- but my husband told me his parents would be offended if I'll file the paperwork w/out them being joint-sponsors. Well, it certainly came to bite me in my behind.

Jerseygirl

Remember blood's thicker than water...when push comes to shove they'll be looking out for their son's best interests not yours. Think about yourself because it doesn't sound as if anyone else will.

Noorah101

None of that matters. The only thing they need in their hands is their OWN copy of the I-864 they signed, and any support documents for that which they turned in to USCIS (tax records and income proof).

Rene

meauxna

But please keep whatever originals you have.. only make them a copy if you *must*.

ian-mstm

See... he found an excuse not to file on Monday! You see it as him getting a job... that's not why he got the job! Alcoholism is all about avoidance.


You must... he never will.

Ian

ian-mstm

Frankly... so what? Unless there is something that *you* need from them, they're like ticks on a dog... they're blood suckers, and they'll try to hold on to you as best they can. They'll do it, because they feel the need to surrogate for their son who (apparently) can't hold on to you.

Your husband is an alcoholic. They are codependent, and enablers. They will do everything they can to protect their son from himself... all the time denying that there is a problem, and all the time blaming you (even if they don't say it to your face).

Ian

kuda23

Update: so I moved out couple of weeks ago and got an apartment on my own. I never told my husband where I'm staying, even though he's telling me that people from our previous jobs are calling him and telling him where I live.
He got really mad this past week and kept asking me for my apt # so he can serve me the divorce papers. I refused to give it to him and told him he can serve me at work if that's needed. He tried to tell me he needs my physical address but I didn't give into his speeches. Five minutes later he called me back and asked me if we can work on things that he's not drinking and what not and that he doesn't mind if I live on my own but that he only loves me and wants this to work.
He keeps telling me that if things are done the way his parents want to, I would be out of my job, lose my car, my apartment, my dog, and basically would have been on my way to Europe a month ago but he's been fighting for me and never says anything bad about me b/c that would also make him look bad in front of his friends. I asked him if that's some kind of a threat and he said that he knows more about the immigration law than I do and that he's just not like that and that he would never do this to me.
I just don't understand why he pins in me in the corner every single time and makes me feel so bad about everything, and most of all terrified that he might be right.
I mean, am I'm missing something here? Can it really take such a turn? Do I need to be worried? I mean I just moved to a new place and I'm slowly getting everything in order and now this shocker.
Also, can someone tell me if I have to send a notice (AR 11) to USCIS about my change of address? I haven't changed my address on anything yet. I mean my utilities have the new address on them but I also still have the old accounts from when I lived with my husband. I just hope there are no penalties for filing it two weeks later.
Any advice and/or words of encouragement are greatly appreciated at this point.

ian-mstm

Congratulations... this is usually the single, most important step! It's also usually the hardest thing to do!


Be sure to add deadbolts to your front door.


Good for you! If he doesn't serve you with papers today, you should have him served tomorrow! Don't do it yourself... have your lawyer contact him. This is now your chance to take control of your situation!


His threats are totally without merit. Remember, you *are* a permanent resident and there is *nothing* he can do or threaten to do to change that.


Yes, you must file an AR-11. You are supposed to file within 10 days but a few days late won't really make any difference.


You're at a fragile point... don't give in, and don't allow him to intimidate you. He does *not* know immigration law if he thinks there's anything he can do to get you into trouble!

Ian

Tracym

He is not right.

He is just trying to bully and scare you - he apparently knows nothing much about immigration law.

You are legally here - no reason to lose your job
You legally own the car - it's yours (unless his name is on it)
You legally rented the apt - it's yours.
We do not reposess dogs in the U.S.

You will have to show to the USCIS your marriage was legit, and it sounds that way to me. If he rants and raves to them, he will just look like an idiot - and you get your chance to explain.

Yes, you have to prove yourself to the USCIS - but he really doesn't have much to do with it.

Actually LOL, he stands to lose more - even if you're divorced, he is your financial sponsor. If you divorced he did manage to cost you your job (which he can't) you could sue him and his parents for support!

Be tough, he will not win this. And good for you, do not tell him where you live.

If he ever threatens you physically, get an order of protection from him.

kuda23

So another update from me.
I'm still living on my own and as many of you guessed right, my husband still didn't file for divorce. He owes me money for some previous bills, as well as for our car insurance and cell phone which I'm still patiently and stupidly paying for. I've asked him for the money to which he responded that if I'm not willing to work on our relationship then he won't pay me back as he needs the money to file. I told him the divorce papers cost less than $200 as I'm not going to fight for anything. His response is that he needs to file two more things- I'm pretty sure he's trying to make me believe it's immigration/deportation related paperwork. Today he told me that he had the papers ready back in June and didn't file because obviously he still loves me. If he didn't love me and was revengeful then I wouldn't have my job.
Can someone re assure me again that he's just a bully and I'll just have to deal with USCIS and not him once the divorce is final when it comes to me leaving/staying and having my job?

Tracym

He's just a bully.

He shouldn't be able to cost you your job.

You will only have to deal with USCIS and not him once the divorce is final.

Just a suggestion - why don't you go ahead and file for divorce, and get rid of him. You will be fine

Noorah101

I agree with Tracy. He's just bullying you. He cannot personally take away your PR status, and it doesn't matter to USCIS who files for the divorce. Just do it yourself and be rid of him.

Rene

kuda23

well I'm almost 100% positive he will either call or send paperwork to USCIS stating I tricked him into marrying him and that I only married him for my status. But I'm saving the emails where he states he doesn't want to just throw away the 4 years we've been together. So if I was such a manipulator, then he wouldn't be asking me to work on things. That would just be my logic.

Tracym

I suspect the USCIS gets many of such letters from unhappy divorcing spouses. I also suspect they don't consider them very strong evidence.

Duncan Roberts

1. Who is he going to call? He will get through to the contract employees who have for the most part pre-prepared scripts and advice. If you want forms to be mailed out to you, OK resource. If you want anything else, not so good. My guess he would hang up before he even got through to somebody.

2. There is no "My spouse tricked me into marrying them so they could get a greencard" form. If he sends them anything that isn't official, chances are it will either sit in a pile for months before anyone even bothers to read it or it will go right in the bin.

You're talking a government agency that has to deal will millions of cases and (in terms of weight) tons of paper work on a daily basis. Add in that there are so many offices, local and district, that all do different things and do you really think they would give much attention to something that even if it had any merit would be very far down their list of priorities?