Pretty desperate to get some advice
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Hello,
I’m new to this forum and would like to get any opinions on my situation.
I came to the US on F-1 visa, got my bachelor’s and master’s degree, then had my OPT. I got married to a US Citizen at the beginning of January 2007, then filed for my conditional green card at the end of July, and became a conditional GC holder at the beginning on January 2008.
Here’s where the problem is. Me and my husband are not getting along (we’ve been together since the end of 2004, I lived with him the following summer, and then we moved in together in May, 2006 and have been living in that house since)- he’s been in and out of jobs continuously and feels like I need to take care of him b/c I owe him for my GC. Yesterday he started screaming at me (after his usual beer drinking ritual) that I don’t care for him at all and that it only takes couple of phone calls for him to make sure I get deported. We had problems at the end of last year before out interview when I actually had to leave the house and stay with my friend as he had one of his alcohol outrages and got very abusive (luckily just verbally). In that time he kept telling me he would call INS on me and that he has a lawyer if I think I’m smart and will try to pull something. Once the alcohol wore off, he started calling me and begging for me to come back and that he would do anything for me to come home (he promised to go to rehab, stop smoking, get a real job, etc.) I believed he has a good heart and potential to have a good career so things went back to normal. I helped him find a job with the company I was working for and everything was going fine until he got fired and didn’t want to tell me about it for a month (he actually got dressed every day and pretended to call me "while at work" to tell me how his job is going). Now he’s back to his drinking, making remarks that he knows I can’t go anywhere and that if I try, he’ll get me deported.
I had a consultation with an immigration lawyer couple of weeks ago and was told there’s no reason staying in this marriage as I’ll have a hard time with my evidence. I guess my question is, do I have a decent chance of filing a waiver myself (we have a lease on the house together but it’s a lease his parents wrote as the house belongs to them; we have car insurance together, we had medical insurance together but once he started working for the same company, it was cheaper for each of us to have a separate policy and now I’m at a new job and have another month before I qualify for insurance; most utility bills are under my name b/c of my husband’s credit history; we have a joint bank account but my direct deposit goes to my account I had since I was in graduate school and the joint account we have is only savings account and b/c of his past history and his identity being stolen he can’t get a debit card; we also filed our taxes together for this past year) and can INS start deportation proceedings if we are just separated?
I know this is quite a long story but I wanted to find out if anyone has been in a similar situation and what steps they’ve taken. I’m not that worried about ggoingng back to Europe as I’m pretty positive I could find a nice job there but I’ve been living in the States for almost nineyearsears, have a decent job, most of my friends are here, and I also have a dog and wouldn’t want to give her up.
Thanks for anyone's opinion and/or advice.
I’m new to this forum and would like to get any opinions on my situation.
I came to the US on F-1 visa, got my bachelor’s and master’s degree, then had my OPT. I got married to a US Citizen at the beginning of January 2007, then filed for my conditional green card at the end of July, and became a conditional GC holder at the beginning on January 2008.
Here’s where the problem is. Me and my husband are not getting along (we’ve been together since the end of 2004, I lived with him the following summer, and then we moved in together in May, 2006 and have been living in that house since)- he’s been in and out of jobs continuously and feels like I need to take care of him b/c I owe him for my GC. Yesterday he started screaming at me (after his usual beer drinking ritual) that I don’t care for him at all and that it only takes couple of phone calls for him to make sure I get deported. We had problems at the end of last year before out interview when I actually had to leave the house and stay with my friend as he had one of his alcohol outrages and got very abusive (luckily just verbally). In that time he kept telling me he would call INS on me and that he has a lawyer if I think I’m smart and will try to pull something. Once the alcohol wore off, he started calling me and begging for me to come back and that he would do anything for me to come home (he promised to go to rehab, stop smoking, get a real job, etc.) I believed he has a good heart and potential to have a good career so things went back to normal. I helped him find a job with the company I was working for and everything was going fine until he got fired and didn’t want to tell me about it for a month (he actually got dressed every day and pretended to call me "while at work" to tell me how his job is going). Now he’s back to his drinking, making remarks that he knows I can’t go anywhere and that if I try, he’ll get me deported.
I had a consultation with an immigration lawyer couple of weeks ago and was told there’s no reason staying in this marriage as I’ll have a hard time with my evidence. I guess my question is, do I have a decent chance of filing a waiver myself (we have a lease on the house together but it’s a lease his parents wrote as the house belongs to them; we have car insurance together, we had medical insurance together but once he started working for the same company, it was cheaper for each of us to have a separate policy and now I’m at a new job and have another month before I qualify for insurance; most utility bills are under my name b/c of my husband’s credit history; we have a joint bank account but my direct deposit goes to my account I had since I was in graduate school and the joint account we have is only savings account and b/c of his past history and his identity being stolen he can’t get a debit card; we also filed our taxes together for this past year) and can INS start deportation proceedings if we are just separated?
I know this is quite a long story but I wanted to find out if anyone has been in a similar situation and what steps they’ve taken. I’m not that worried about ggoingng back to Europe as I’m pretty positive I could find a nice job there but I’ve been living in the States for almost nineyearsears, have a decent job, most of my friends are here, and I also have a dog and wouldn’t want to give her up.
Thanks for anyone's opinion and/or advice.
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Do some poking around here in this forum. There have been many, many people in your shoes.
Very basically, if you get divorced before you have to file to remove conditions on your 2-year green card, you can file the I-751 with a waiver as soon as the divorce is final. Make sure you have proof that the marriage was entered into in good faith.
You can separate right now if you want to, you still remain a PR. But when it comes time to remove conditions, you might find yourself in a bind, if you are still separated. You'll have to see at that time whether your husband will file a joint I-751 with you, and if not, you'll run into having your 2-year card expire without having filed an I-751 with the waiver (because you can't do that until a divorce is final).
In the meantime, for now, he can threaten all he wants, but you have the legal right to live here now, as a PR. He can't get you deported, only an immigration judge can do that now.
I hope that answers some of your questions.
Very basically, if you get divorced before you have to file to remove conditions on your 2-year green card, you can file the I-751 with a waiver as soon as the divorce is final. Make sure you have proof that the marriage was entered into in good faith.
You can separate right now if you want to, you still remain a PR. But when it comes time to remove conditions, you might find yourself in a bind, if you are still separated. You'll have to see at that time whether your husband will file a joint I-751 with you, and if not, you'll run into having your 2-year card expire without having filed an I-751 with the waiver (because you can't do that until a divorce is final).
In the meantime, for now, he can threaten all he wants, but you have the legal right to live here now, as a PR. He can't get you deported, only an immigration judge can do that now.
I hope that answers some of your questions.
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Noorah 101,
so what if calls INS and claims the marriage was fraud- can I lose my status before my divorce is final? You know, when he drinks I really can't tell what he's capable of. I mean one minute he would tell me he wants me to stay, the next he's calling immigrations and telling me he'll make sure I lose my job and get deported ASAP.
so what if calls INS and claims the marriage was fraud- can I lose my status before my divorce is final? You know, when he drinks I really can't tell what he's capable of. I mean one minute he would tell me he wants me to stay, the next he's calling immigrations and telling me he'll make sure I lose my job and get deported ASAP.
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Noorah 101,
so what if calls INS and claims the marriage was fraud- can I lose my status before my divorce is final? You know, when he drinks I really can't tell what he's capable of. I mean one minute he would tell me he wants me to stay, the next he's calling immigrations and telling me he'll make sure I lose my job and get deported ASAP.
so what if calls INS and claims the marriage was fraud- can I lose my status before my divorce is final? You know, when he drinks I really can't tell what he's capable of. I mean one minute he would tell me he wants me to stay, the next he's calling immigrations and telling me he'll make sure I lose my job and get deported ASAP.
Pretty hard to claim marriage fraud when you have been a co-habitating couple for years. Not impossible, but less likely to be believed, don't you think?
Documents and evidence are your friends; you've surely accumulated some of both that show that your marriage is bonafide, and was not entered into solely for the immigration benefit, yes?
What did the lawyer tell you? I don't really understand from the first post.
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Rene
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Well I told the lawyer about my husband's working habits and that we have a joint bank account but that I also have my own account where my direct deposit is and he told me that INS will look at it closely and see that I'm not co-mingling our finances and I'll have a hard time showing that we have everything together.
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so his suggestion was to just get a divorce, hope for the best. He told me I would have around 1.5 before they reach decissions and he mentioned you never know what may happen in that time- I could find someone else or maybe apply for H1B since I have my master's degree.
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Well I told the lawyer about my husband's working habits and that we have a joint bank account but that I also have my own account where my direct deposit is and he told me that INS will look at it closely and see that I'm not co-mingling our finances and I'll have a hard time showing that we have everything together.
Rene
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Rene
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#10
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Well I told the lawyer about my husband's working habits and that we have a joint bank account but that I also have my own account where my direct deposit is and he told me that INS will look at it closely and see that I'm not co-mingling our finances and I'll have a hard time showing that we have everything together.
Other people have faced this issue, and it was either not an issue, or easily explained.
edit: Snap, Rene!
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Meauxma & Noorah101,
thank you guys for all your opinions and suggestions. I guess I get very stressed out and skeptical when my husband tries to threaten me and I get scared and believe him b/c he just knows how to play with my emotions.
And I'm sorry I was referring to USCIS as INS. I should know better than that.
It's pretty scary to try to leave but I don't think there's hope and he's not going to change his behavior- he promised several times and it never happened so this should be my last lesson.
thank you guys for all your opinions and suggestions. I guess I get very stressed out and skeptical when my husband tries to threaten me and I get scared and believe him b/c he just knows how to play with my emotions.
And I'm sorry I was referring to USCIS as INS. I should know better than that.
It's pretty scary to try to leave but I don't think there's hope and he's not going to change his behavior- he promised several times and it never happened so this should be my last lesson.
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Meauxma & Noorah101,
thank you guys for all your opinions and suggestions. I guess I get very stressed out and skeptical when my husband tries to threaten me and I get scared and believe him b/c he just knows how to play with my emotions.
And I'm sorry I was referring to USCIS as INS. I should know better than that.
It's pretty scary to try to leave but I don't think there's hope and he's not going to change his behavior- he promised several times and it never happened so this should be my last lesson.
thank you guys for all your opinions and suggestions. I guess I get very stressed out and skeptical when my husband tries to threaten me and I get scared and believe him b/c he just knows how to play with my emotions.
And I'm sorry I was referring to USCIS as INS. I should know better than that.
It's pretty scary to try to leave but I don't think there's hope and he's not going to change his behavior- he promised several times and it never happened so this should be my last lesson.
Think of it this way, even if USCIS had doubts about your I-765 with waiver case, they will schedule an interview with you, so you can go in person and explain more. That should be a comforting thought. You won't just get automatically deported.
Best Wishes,
Rene
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#13
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Meauxma & Noorah101,
thank you guys for all your opinions and suggestions. I guess I get very stressed out and skeptical when my husband tries to threaten me and I get scared and believe him b/c he just knows how to play with my emotions.
And I'm sorry I was referring to USCIS as INS. I should know better than that.
It's pretty scary to try to leave but I don't think there's hope and he's not going to change his behavior- he promised several times and it never happened so this should be my last lesson.
thank you guys for all your opinions and suggestions. I guess I get very stressed out and skeptical when my husband tries to threaten me and I get scared and believe him b/c he just knows how to play with my emotions.
And I'm sorry I was referring to USCIS as INS. I should know better than that.
It's pretty scary to try to leave but I don't think there's hope and he's not going to change his behavior- he promised several times and it never happened so this should be my last lesson.
I can only guess at how stressful it must be to have that hanging over your head when you've got the personal problems along with it.
Hopefully this will reassure you that it is not automatic that you would be 'deported' if you are no longer married, and that it is highly unlikely that a call from a 'wronged' spouse would have any impact on your case. In fact, there are more success than sob stories posted here.
With that information in mind, maybe you can move on to sorting out the domestic question, which you should evaluate with someone who is a professional in *that* field. Then you can find an immigration professional to guide you with whatever more you need to know, once you know what you need and want to do for your own happiness and safety.
You can always ask your questions here. And check back on this thread. I'm sure some of those who have been down this road will chime in later on.
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#14
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NB: Rene and I are not the same person! ![LOL](https://britishexpats.com/forum/images/smilies/lol.gif)
psst Rene---I-751, not the other thing
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psst Rene---I-751, not the other thing
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