Originally Posted by Brat1

It is our first anniversary of moving today, been here a year and it's all still very clear in my head, the emotions of leaving. As much as I was upset at leaving and nervous about the whole move and that the kids would be allright, I have surprised myself!! The worst part for me was saying goodbye to my mum and dad, and the guilt for taking their grandchildren across the Atlantic, but you know, in reality, it's been fine. I have had few bouts of homesickness, talk to my mum and dad all the time on Skype, they can see the kids, how well they're doing etc and I am so glad we made the move.

People can sometimes make you feel guilty, I sometimes feel its a wee bit of jealousy that they haven't taken the plunge so to speak - I may be wrong on that one. I'm on an H4 and yes, it's hard when you're on your own all day, but I find plenty to keep me busy, have made myself go out their and meet new people. We've just bought a new pup so he will take up most of my time over the next few months, the ironing will just need to pile up .

Enjoy the whole moving experience, look forward to your new life and the different things you will experience here and don't look back. You are only a flight away, and if you don't settle in the first couple of years, there's no shame in going back, you have to grab it with both hands and make the most of it, some people never get the opportunity.

GOOD LUCK WITH THE MOVE AND ENJOY IT!!!

Originally Posted by Yorkieabroad

Yes.

Although I'm not sure I had time to be nervous - I only had about 2 weeks notice of my original posting overseas, and that time was too busy to think about whether I was doing the right thing. Plus I was only supposed to be out of the UK for about a year....that was 1995 and I'm still away! Wonder who's feeding the cat.....;-)


Have you ever been skydiving? Bungee jumping? Or do you ski? Remember that feeling in the seconds before you launch out of the plane/off the bridge/off the top of that double black diamond? Bit scared, butterflies etc? Then once you're freefalling or bashing through the powder that feeling goes and you start having fun? Think of it like that! You're just about to launch and once you're actually past the point of no return (ie on the plane on the way here) your focus will change from hassle of leaving to excitement of arriving.

All you can do is make sure you are organized, you've got everything checked off on your list, and you get to see everyone you need to before you leave. And when you see them, make sure they know you're a bit apprehensive about it (after all, its fairly reasonable to be nervous about any big change), but that you're going to keep in touch, and you're only going to be a 6/8/10 hour flight away which means a) you can get back if you want to and b) they can come stay! Its not like the old days when people got on a sailing ship and didn't even know if they'd make it to the other end, let alone be able to get back again!

I used to have a friend who kept a totally seperate bank account with a couple of thousand dollars in it that she never touched. That was her "escape money" , and would only be used for flights home. She was never going to back herself into the corner of not being able to afford to get out if she really wanted to. She reckoned it helped on bad homesick days to be able to dig out the bank statement for that account, look at it and know she could go if she really wanted to.

Originally Posted by Poppy girl

I personally just take it in my stride but the again I have been traveling since I was 18yrs old and now 46yrs old....I do get a bit twitchy the night before either coming or going to the UK, when I am leaving the US I am bad tempered and sad because I don't want to go but when I am leaving the UK to return here, I get very anxious the night before leaving mum behind I always have this fear if it will be the last time that I see her

Just remember you are only a flight away you are not going to Mars, plus you have the phone, internet and Skype......once you get going it will all be such a whirl wind and exciting you will be fine, and don't forget you can always come home

Originally Posted by lisa67

Ditto what Poppy Girl said about only being a flight away...I kept saying that to myself and it kept me sane.

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing

It's perfectly normal. I started feeling really guilty about leaving everyone behind in the weeks leading up to my leaving.

I just got drunk a lot

Originally Posted by CAdreaming

thanks for your positive vibes Brat

Originally Posted by CAdreaming

LOVING the sky diving analogy!!! Im going to remember this once im on that plane

Originally Posted by Yorkieabroad

Dont do it! - you're gonna get in all sorts of trouble if you try to open the door on a jumbo at 35000 feet!

Originally Posted by Brat1

You're welcome, honestly, last minute jitters is normal, just take it as it comes and look forward, not back. You have a great opportunity in front of you and if you need some advice on being "home alone" you can PM me

Originally Posted by MoshiMoshi

I found it helped never to look completely at the move. Not all at once. Oh, today I am just giving my most unwearable shoes to charity. Tomorrow I'm staying up til midnight calling apartment owners in Los Angeles. This weekend I might, for the hell of it, pack ten 30kg boxes of cherished possessions and give them to a man with a lorry.

But: on September xth I'm moving 6000 miles to an entirely new city, with my husband, two cats and an awful lot of luggage? ERROR MESSAGE: does not compute. Systems overload. Update gin-and-tonic immediately.

(Of course, with this strategy, there's always the risk you'll get here and wake up the next morning thinking 'California? We live in California now? Well, I didn't see that coming'.)

Good luck with your relocation!

Originally Posted by CAdreaming

I like the strategy - so on March 17th Im going to wake up and wonder how I got to CA.... part of me might just feel - "Oh im on a another holiday in CA"....when does it feel that you actually LIVE there!!! (guess when you are still there 3 years later maybe lol)?
so small bite sized pieces will win the day...

Originally Posted by Poppy girl

Where in CA are you moving too you don't have to be exact but what city!!

Originally Posted by Brat1

You're looking too far ahead, because we are all different and I don't know when it actually feels that you "live" there, I've never analysed it like that, but certainly, after only 1 year, I feel settled. Will we stay here forever - who knows. Will I ever call this home if we stay - who knows. Will I ever regret the journey I've taken - NEVER. I agree with the post above, one bit at a time and deal with each different thing as a single entity. I think, or hope, you find it easier and more enjoyable than you think you will. Is it hard to say goodbye to people - YES!! Do they come and visit - YES!! With every negative, there's always a positive, believe me, the last year we've had our ups and downs but I don't regret a single minute.

The offer is there to PM me if you need a chat and please, don't panic, and enjoy what's ahead of you, I'm sure it will be fine