ironporer

I think that the OP will find that most US courts would rather leave a child with the worst Mother, than reverse custody and give it to the best father...unless there are extreme circumstances.

snowbunny

In my observation the courts will lean very heavily toward joint custody, no matter the burden on the parents. I don't know how that would play out given the OP's tenuous and slipping grasp on any chance of obtaining the legal right to live in the US. As to "primary conservator" (the person with more than 50% of legal custody) - I think they would be xenophobically averse to awarding this to a person outside the US unless the American parent was certifiable.

crg

I suspect that the child's place of abode will be determined first. It's possible the mother could maintain principal custody, but still not be allowed to remove the child from the UK.

snowbunny

I don't recall reading that the mother had ILR in the UK.

LondonTown

I have just contacted an attorney and she said what my wife did is called "defrauding" but playing the part of double advocate she also said that she could turn around and say i had all the intention of settling here with my husband but when he started beating me... see where this is heading. My only reply to that was that I was living with her family, 5 of them, would a judge really fall for that? any ideas?

LondonTown

she has a 2 year spouse visa

snowbunny

So if the child were domiciled permanently in England, it would be difficult for her mother to visit, because that 2 year visa is going to expire. I don't know what recourse she would have to live there once the marriage was dissolved.

Messy situation all round and I hope you have very good legal counsel. I truly believe that it's best for a child to grow up near both parents and am hoping for an outcome that will allow this.

lansbury

That is what I guessed the line could be, consent obtained by falsehood and deception is not true consent and therefore the consent was not freely given and has no legal standing.

The only ones who will get any benefit from this are the lawyers, the court while listening to legal argument will temper the law with doing what they consider right for the child.

If at all possible try and resolve this with an amicable agreement, negotiated if necessary by your lawyers, but keep it away from the courts. If you are going to have contact with your child as she grows up, you will have contact with your ex as well. That many years is a long time to have to dealings with someone you are at loggerheads with. I speak from experience. I wish you good luck in resolving this.

LondonTown

I couldn't agree more on that statement.

LondonTown

I agree with you on this, but trying to get my significant other to do the same is tricky, she seems to think just because she a US citizen, she has all the right to sole custody not to mention that she thinks she knows the law like the back of her hand. Thank you for your input.

meauxna

I understand that this is a legal tack, but it sticks in my craw a little. The woman did make an attempt to petition him in the UK and was told she didn't qualify & needed to petition in the US. So they all upped stakes and moved to the US. Then things went badly and they didn't file anything before the relationship broke down.

LondonTown

I just got news that my wife has left the state, what can I do? how can I find out where she is? I called the police and they said they can't make a welfare check, its too late to make any emergency court order at this time, what am I left to do? can she be made to return to Illinois?

Englishtart

Is there not one member of her family you are friendly with? maybe one would tell you 'off the record'? This is a really sad situation you are in, but I really don't see how you can find her without help from her family.
I hope things get better for you hun.

LondonTown

i wish her family were normal, it was one of her family that put her up to this

snowbunny

No, there is nothing to do short of a court order, but if she has moved house, that is screwing with the logistics of which jurisdiction can try the case.

Before proceeding you MUST speak with a lawyer. If there were NO ramifications on your immigration status, I would file a divorce petition and ask for immediate temporary orders, in her last known jurisdiction. And I'd file it today. If she fails to appear, you can then state that all you want is to know where your child is, without blaming your wife or her family.

HOWEVER - before you do this - you need very competent legal advice. It would suck to have the filing come back and bite you. I am telling you what *I* as a native-born USC would do, and NOT what YOU should do.