Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
Sep 27th 2005, 2:15 pm
#1
Guest
Posts: n/a
Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
My situation is a crazy one but I am young and do not know what to
really do. When I met my husband, all was well until I married him 3
years ago. Originally we married to help his situation and because we
cared about each other (basically I wanted him more than he wanted me).
We have been having problems for 2 years, due to cultural differences we
are not able to correct (he is orginally from Liberia but a citizen of
the UK). My husband is a control freak and believes that what he says
is law. Fast forwarding to today I am three and a half months pregnant
and our lease is up at the end of october which is approx 4 weeks from
now. After a year into our marriage I aksed him if he would allow me to
get a dog and he finally agreed but when push comes to shove and things
go wrong the first thing he does is tell me that I must abandon the one
thing that loves me in my home. He uses the dog as an excuse for our
problems but beleive me this 10 pound dog is not the cause. According
to him when our lease is up I will have to find new living arrangments
pregnant or not. The problem is I recently was discriminated against
due to my preganancy at my job and terminated so i am currently
unemployed. I am receiving unemployment now but due to my many ailments
with this pregnancy it is impossible for me to get a job in my condition
and realisitically who will hire me now with my almost noticeable bump.
My husband and I recently went to the immigration visit and according
to him he was denied his green card and his work authorization was
canceled because we did not have more than one tax years documents
filed together and I was not able to produce a letter of employment.
According to my husband he rewrote the letter that I wrote explaining
my employment situation but failed to offer any details. When i speak
of divorce to my husband he says that he did not say that he says that
we should have seperated a while ago. I think that he does not want to
divorce because it does not suit him. Right now he is leaving me no
choice I am pregnant, unemployed and he is abandoning me at 4 months.
My question is, am I entitled to some emergency spousal support or
alimony and any suggestions on what I should do. Technically i will be
homeless in 4 weeks and do not have much money. All your advice /
suggestions are appreciated.
--
bochula
Posted via http://expatforums.com
really do. When I met my husband, all was well until I married him 3
years ago. Originally we married to help his situation and because we
cared about each other (basically I wanted him more than he wanted me).
We have been having problems for 2 years, due to cultural differences we
are not able to correct (he is orginally from Liberia but a citizen of
the UK). My husband is a control freak and believes that what he says
is law. Fast forwarding to today I am three and a half months pregnant
and our lease is up at the end of october which is approx 4 weeks from
now. After a year into our marriage I aksed him if he would allow me to
get a dog and he finally agreed but when push comes to shove and things
go wrong the first thing he does is tell me that I must abandon the one
thing that loves me in my home. He uses the dog as an excuse for our
problems but beleive me this 10 pound dog is not the cause. According
to him when our lease is up I will have to find new living arrangments
pregnant or not. The problem is I recently was discriminated against
due to my preganancy at my job and terminated so i am currently
unemployed. I am receiving unemployment now but due to my many ailments
with this pregnancy it is impossible for me to get a job in my condition
and realisitically who will hire me now with my almost noticeable bump.
My husband and I recently went to the immigration visit and according
to him he was denied his green card and his work authorization was
canceled because we did not have more than one tax years documents
filed together and I was not able to produce a letter of employment.
According to my husband he rewrote the letter that I wrote explaining
my employment situation but failed to offer any details. When i speak
of divorce to my husband he says that he did not say that he says that
we should have seperated a while ago. I think that he does not want to
divorce because it does not suit him. Right now he is leaving me no
choice I am pregnant, unemployed and he is abandoning me at 4 months.
My question is, am I entitled to some emergency spousal support or
alimony and any suggestions on what I should do. Technically i will be
homeless in 4 weeks and do not have much money. All your advice /
suggestions are appreciated.
--
bochula
Posted via http://expatforums.com
Sep 28th 2005, 4:40 pm
#2
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 16
Re: Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
Originally Posted by Bochula
My situation is a crazy one but I am young and do not know what to
really do. When I met my husband, all was well until I married him 3
years ago. Originally we married to help his situation and because we
cared about each other (basically I wanted him more than he wanted me).
We have been having problems for 2 years, due to cultural differences we
are not able to correct (he is orginally from Liberia but a citizen of
the UK). My husband is a control freak and believes that what he says
is law. Fast forwarding to today I am three and a half months pregnant
and our lease is up at the end of october which is approx 4 weeks from
now. After a year into our marriage I aksed him if he would allow me to
get a dog and he finally agreed but when push comes to shove and things
go wrong the first thing he does is tell me that I must abandon the one
thing that loves me in my home. He uses the dog as an excuse for our
problems but beleive me this 10 pound dog is not the cause. According
to him when our lease is up I will have to find new living arrangments
pregnant or not. The problem is I recently was discriminated against
due to my preganancy at my job and terminated so i am currently
unemployed. I am receiving unemployment now but due to my many ailments
with this pregnancy it is impossible for me to get a job in my condition
and realisitically who will hire me now with my almost noticeable bump.
My husband and I recently went to the immigration visit and according
to him he was denied his green card and his work authorization was
canceled because we did not have more than one tax years documents
filed together and I was not able to produce a letter of employment.
According to my husband he rewrote the letter that I wrote explaining
my employment situation but failed to offer any details. When i speak
of divorce to my husband he says that he did not say that he says that
we should have seperated a while ago. I think that he does not want to
divorce because it does not suit him. Right now he is leaving me no
choice I am pregnant, unemployed and he is abandoning me at 4 months.
My question is, am I entitled to some emergency spousal support or
alimony and any suggestions on what I should do. Technically i will be
homeless in 4 weeks and do not have much money. All your advice /
suggestions are appreciated.
--
bochula
Posted via http://expatforums.com
really do. When I met my husband, all was well until I married him 3
years ago. Originally we married to help his situation and because we
cared about each other (basically I wanted him more than he wanted me).
We have been having problems for 2 years, due to cultural differences we
are not able to correct (he is orginally from Liberia but a citizen of
the UK). My husband is a control freak and believes that what he says
is law. Fast forwarding to today I am three and a half months pregnant
and our lease is up at the end of october which is approx 4 weeks from
now. After a year into our marriage I aksed him if he would allow me to
get a dog and he finally agreed but when push comes to shove and things
go wrong the first thing he does is tell me that I must abandon the one
thing that loves me in my home. He uses the dog as an excuse for our
problems but beleive me this 10 pound dog is not the cause. According
to him when our lease is up I will have to find new living arrangments
pregnant or not. The problem is I recently was discriminated against
due to my preganancy at my job and terminated so i am currently
unemployed. I am receiving unemployment now but due to my many ailments
with this pregnancy it is impossible for me to get a job in my condition
and realisitically who will hire me now with my almost noticeable bump.
My husband and I recently went to the immigration visit and according
to him he was denied his green card and his work authorization was
canceled because we did not have more than one tax years documents
filed together and I was not able to produce a letter of employment.
According to my husband he rewrote the letter that I wrote explaining
my employment situation but failed to offer any details. When i speak
of divorce to my husband he says that he did not say that he says that
we should have seperated a while ago. I think that he does not want to
divorce because it does not suit him. Right now he is leaving me no
choice I am pregnant, unemployed and he is abandoning me at 4 months.
My question is, am I entitled to some emergency spousal support or
alimony and any suggestions on what I should do. Technically i will be
homeless in 4 weeks and do not have much money. All your advice /
suggestions are appreciated.
--
bochula
Posted via http://expatforums.com
I am sorry to hear your story. However, you mentioned this in your message, "The problem is I recently was discriminated against
due to my pregnancy at my job and terminated so i am currently
unemployed". Did this incident happened in London?
If your statement is 100% correct, I will give you the telephone number of a very good Lawyer in South-Harrow who will fight your case with your former employer. You wouldn't pay him a penny until he is finished with your case.
This may take some time though. If you are interested, please email me and explain in brief what happened with you and your former employer.
Thanks
Philip
Sep 28th 2005, 4:45 pm
#3
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 68,280
Re: Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
Originally Posted by Bochula
to him he was denied his green card and his work authorization was
canceled because we did not have more than one tax years documents
filed together and I was not able to produce a letter of employment.
canceled because we did not have more than one tax years documents
filed together and I was not able to produce a letter of employment.
I think there is far more to this story though..
Sep 28th 2005, 6:13 pm
#4
Shocked of Redmond
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Redmond, WA
Posts: 3,446
Re: Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
Originally Posted by Ray
This may have given a clue to their location ..
I think there is far more to this story though..
I think there is far more to this story though..
Sep 28th 2005, 6:15 pm
#5
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2002
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 38,865
Re: Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
Originally Posted by Bochula
I think that he does not want to divorce because it does not suit him.
Ian
Sep 28th 2005, 6:16 pm
#6
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2002
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 38,865
Re: Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
Originally Posted by nettlebed
Surely you can't be at all suspicious about such a heartrending tale, Ray? You are so cruel...
Ian
Sep 28th 2005, 8:12 pm
#7
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 118
Re: Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
I think you may have troubles when you actually leave especially if he is attempting to get his green card. Your his ticket so to speak. I would pack everything. Ask a friend to watch the dog or take it to the doggy shelter and see if someone can "foster" the pooch and you go directly to a women's shelter in your area. Call the police if you feel you are in jepordary. They will know who to contact. I would run not walk in this situation. I would do it ASAP and dissapear as soon I possibly could. You may have to go with no clothes but take your passport and social security card. Everything else can be replaced. Plus in a few months you won't be able to fit in those clothes anyway. Take care of the Baby .. that's number one. Don't even think about his problems.. he's used you and his threat to kick you out is one to take seriously but I would go first and quitely. He doesn't need to know.
Controlling men who think their way is the law are dangerous and your the means to his green card. If he's willing to abuse your love for the dog then who knows what he will do. Don't go any further on the "what will he do" without his green card. He's the mean one.
No tax return may mean that she is REALLY young! And also at the shelter they may be able to help with that pesky unemployment problem and discrimination.
Shelters are there for a reason. Your's sounds like a reason.
_________________________________
My two cents: Troll or no Troll
Controlling men who think their way is the law are dangerous and your the means to his green card. If he's willing to abuse your love for the dog then who knows what he will do. Don't go any further on the "what will he do" without his green card. He's the mean one.
No tax return may mean that she is REALLY young! And also at the shelter they may be able to help with that pesky unemployment problem and discrimination.
Shelters are there for a reason. Your's sounds like a reason.
_________________________________
My two cents: Troll or no Troll
Originally Posted by Bochula
My situation is a crazy one but I am young and do not know what to
really do. When I met my husband, all was well until I married him 3
years ago. Originally we married to help his situation and because we
cared about each other (basically I wanted him more than he wanted me).
We have been having problems for 2 years, due to cultural differences we
are not able to correct (he is orginally from Liberia but a citizen of
the UK). My husband is a control freak and believes that what he says
is law. Fast forwarding to today I am three and a half months pregnant
and our lease is up at the end of october which is approx 4 weeks from
now. After a year into our marriage I aksed him if he would allow me to
get a dog and he finally agreed but when push comes to shove and things
go wrong the first thing he does is tell me that I must abandon the one
thing that loves me in my home. He uses the dog as an excuse for our
problems but beleive me this 10 pound dog is not the cause. According
to him when our lease is up I will have to find new living arrangments
pregnant or not. The problem is I recently was discriminated against
due to my preganancy at my job and terminated so i am currently
unemployed. I am receiving unemployment now but due to my many ailments
with this pregnancy it is impossible for me to get a job in my condition
and realisitically who will hire me now with my almost noticeable bump.
My husband and I recently went to the immigration visit and according
to him he was denied his green card and his work authorization was
canceled because we did not have more than one tax years documents
filed together and I was not able to produce a letter of employment.
According to my husband he rewrote the letter that I wrote explaining
my employment situation but failed to offer any details. When i speak
of divorce to my husband he says that he did not say that he says that
we should have seperated a while ago. I think that he does not want to
divorce because it does not suit him. Right now he is leaving me no
choice I am pregnant, unemployed and he is abandoning me at 4 months.
My question is, am I entitled to some emergency spousal support or
alimony and any suggestions on what I should do. Technically i will be
homeless in 4 weeks and do not have much money. All your advice /
suggestions are appreciated.
--
bochula
Posted via http://expatforums.com
really do. When I met my husband, all was well until I married him 3
years ago. Originally we married to help his situation and because we
cared about each other (basically I wanted him more than he wanted me).
We have been having problems for 2 years, due to cultural differences we
are not able to correct (he is orginally from Liberia but a citizen of
the UK). My husband is a control freak and believes that what he says
is law. Fast forwarding to today I am three and a half months pregnant
and our lease is up at the end of october which is approx 4 weeks from
now. After a year into our marriage I aksed him if he would allow me to
get a dog and he finally agreed but when push comes to shove and things
go wrong the first thing he does is tell me that I must abandon the one
thing that loves me in my home. He uses the dog as an excuse for our
problems but beleive me this 10 pound dog is not the cause. According
to him when our lease is up I will have to find new living arrangments
pregnant or not. The problem is I recently was discriminated against
due to my preganancy at my job and terminated so i am currently
unemployed. I am receiving unemployment now but due to my many ailments
with this pregnancy it is impossible for me to get a job in my condition
and realisitically who will hire me now with my almost noticeable bump.
My husband and I recently went to the immigration visit and according
to him he was denied his green card and his work authorization was
canceled because we did not have more than one tax years documents
filed together and I was not able to produce a letter of employment.
According to my husband he rewrote the letter that I wrote explaining
my employment situation but failed to offer any details. When i speak
of divorce to my husband he says that he did not say that he says that
we should have seperated a while ago. I think that he does not want to
divorce because it does not suit him. Right now he is leaving me no
choice I am pregnant, unemployed and he is abandoning me at 4 months.
My question is, am I entitled to some emergency spousal support or
alimony and any suggestions on what I should do. Technically i will be
homeless in 4 weeks and do not have much money. All your advice /
suggestions are appreciated.
--
bochula
Posted via http://expatforums.com
Sep 28th 2005, 8:37 pm
#8
Shocked of Redmond
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Redmond, WA
Posts: 3,446
Re: Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
Originally Posted by ian-mstm
Doesn't the word "Bochula" sound a lot like botulism?
Ian
Ian
Sep 28th 2005, 8:39 pm
#9
THE Member
Joined: May 2005
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 374
Re: Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
Geeze! That's a bit of a rough situation you find yourself in. I agree with what Gin suggested.. clearly the "man" is not worth the time of day and you better off getting out of there and away from him, taking care of yourself, unborn baby and pooch should be your priority. Let him sink or swim by himself (Sink sink sink).
Best of luck!
~Sean~
Best of luck!
~Sean~
Sep 30th 2005, 4:08 pm
#10
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Married to a UK citizen now pregnant and he is abandoning me next month
ian-mstm Wrote:
>
> > My situation is a crazy one but I am young and do not know what to
> > really do. When I met my husband, all was well until I married him 3
> > years ago. Originally we married to help his situation and because
> we
> > cared about each other (basically I wanted him more than he wanted
> > me).
> > We have been having problems for 2 years, due to cultural
> differences
> > we
> > are not able to correct (he is orginally from Liberia but a citizen
> of
> > the UK). My husband is a control freak and believes that what he
> says
> > is law. Fast forwarding to today I am three and a half months
> pregnant
> > and our lease is up at the end of october which is approx 4 weeks
> from
> > now. After a year into our marriage I aksed him if he would allow me
> > to
> > get a dog and he finally agreed but when push comes to shove and
> > things
> > go wrong the first thing he does is tell me that I must abandon the
> > one
> > thing that loves me in my home. He uses the dog as an excuse for our
> > problems but beleive me this 10 pound dog is not the cause.
> According
> > to him when our lease is up I will have to find new living
> arrangments
> > pregnant or not. The problem is I recently was discriminated against
> > due to my preganancy at my job and terminated so i am currently
> > unemployed. I am receiving unemployment now but due to my many
> > ailments
> > with this pregnancy it is impossible for me to get a job in my
> > condition
> > and realisitically who will hire me now with my almost noticeable
> > bump.
> > My husband and I recently went to the immigration visit and
> according
> > to him he was denied his green card and his work authorization was
> > canceled because we did not have more than one tax years documents
> > filed together and I was not able to produce a letter of employment.
> > According to my husband he rewrote the letter that I wrote
> explaining
> > my employment situation but failed to offer any details. When i
> speak
> > of divorce to my husband he says that he did not say that he says
> that
> > we should have seperated a while ago. I think that he does not want
> to
> > divorce because it does not suit him. Right now he is leaving me no
> > choice I am pregnant, unemployed and he is abandoning me at 4
> months.
> > My question is, am I entitled to some emergency spousal support or
> > alimony and any suggestions on what I should do. Technically i will
> be
> > homeless in 4 weeks and do not have much money. All your advice /
> > suggestions are appreciated.
> >
> >
> > --
> > bochula
> > Posted via http://expatforums.com
>
> Your post raises many questions and some of what you said is puzzling.
> Howevever, if you want to divorce and you start the paperwork, he will
> very quickly find himself divorced whether it suits him or not. If
> what
> you say is true, then personally, I think the guy's being an @sshole
> and
> is on the road to being an abuser. The first sign? Making you choose
> between him and the dog. Get yourself a lawyer right now... there are
> many local charities that will help you at no chage. If you have to,
> get
> out of the house. Protect yourself and let him worry about his own
> immigration problems.
>
> Ian
>
> --
> Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Hello Ian:
What I am wondering is if I leave prior or divorce him he will not stay
in this country and I will not be entiltled to any child support or
alimony. I am in the US NY NY and I am a US citizen. Ian everything
that you say makes plenty of sense and he is already an abuser. I am
on my way to get counsel today I will update the board later. thanks
--
bochula
Posted via http://expatforums.com
>
> > My situation is a crazy one but I am young and do not know what to
> > really do. When I met my husband, all was well until I married him 3
> > years ago. Originally we married to help his situation and because
> we
> > cared about each other (basically I wanted him more than he wanted
> > me).
> > We have been having problems for 2 years, due to cultural
> differences
> > we
> > are not able to correct (he is orginally from Liberia but a citizen
> of
> > the UK). My husband is a control freak and believes that what he
> says
> > is law. Fast forwarding to today I am three and a half months
> pregnant
> > and our lease is up at the end of october which is approx 4 weeks
> from
> > now. After a year into our marriage I aksed him if he would allow me
> > to
> > get a dog and he finally agreed but when push comes to shove and
> > things
> > go wrong the first thing he does is tell me that I must abandon the
> > one
> > thing that loves me in my home. He uses the dog as an excuse for our
> > problems but beleive me this 10 pound dog is not the cause.
> According
> > to him when our lease is up I will have to find new living
> arrangments
> > pregnant or not. The problem is I recently was discriminated against
> > due to my preganancy at my job and terminated so i am currently
> > unemployed. I am receiving unemployment now but due to my many
> > ailments
> > with this pregnancy it is impossible for me to get a job in my
> > condition
> > and realisitically who will hire me now with my almost noticeable
> > bump.
> > My husband and I recently went to the immigration visit and
> according
> > to him he was denied his green card and his work authorization was
> > canceled because we did not have more than one tax years documents
> > filed together and I was not able to produce a letter of employment.
> > According to my husband he rewrote the letter that I wrote
> explaining
> > my employment situation but failed to offer any details. When i
> speak
> > of divorce to my husband he says that he did not say that he says
> that
> > we should have seperated a while ago. I think that he does not want
> to
> > divorce because it does not suit him. Right now he is leaving me no
> > choice I am pregnant, unemployed and he is abandoning me at 4
> months.
> > My question is, am I entitled to some emergency spousal support or
> > alimony and any suggestions on what I should do. Technically i will
> be
> > homeless in 4 weeks and do not have much money. All your advice /
> > suggestions are appreciated.
> >
> >
> > --
> > bochula
> > Posted via http://expatforums.com
>
> Your post raises many questions and some of what you said is puzzling.
> Howevever, if you want to divorce and you start the paperwork, he will
> very quickly find himself divorced whether it suits him or not. If
> what
> you say is true, then personally, I think the guy's being an @sshole
> and
> is on the road to being an abuser. The first sign? Making you choose
> between him and the dog. Get yourself a lawyer right now... there are
> many local charities that will help you at no chage. If you have to,
> get
> out of the house. Protect yourself and let him worry about his own
> immigration problems.
>
> Ian
>
> --
> Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Hello Ian:
What I am wondering is if I leave prior or divorce him he will not stay
in this country and I will not be entiltled to any child support or
alimony. I am in the US NY NY and I am a US citizen. Ian everything
that you say makes plenty of sense and he is already an abuser. I am
on my way to get counsel today I will update the board later. thanks
--
bochula
Posted via http://expatforums.com
