Noorah101

I think it depends what their sole purpose is. I'm assuming the sole purpose is finding a suitable husband, and the fact that he's in the USA is an advantage. It's only when the sole purpose is immigration, no matter who the guy is, or that they plan to divorce after the green card, etc., then I'd say it sounds more like an attempt at fraud.

But...those are just my opinions and assumptions, nothing more. I have no idea with their real intent and goals are.

Rene

scrubbedexpat099

Funny, because I never assumed fraud. I have no reason to believe that they are not totally legit in their wishes to find a suitable, long term, spouse for their child.

I only have limited first hand knowledge, a friend of mine was being set up by his Mum for years with arranged prospects, for the sake of family harmony he used to have to follow through even if it all petered out in the end. We used to get updates over a beer. In the end he sort of arranged his own wife but within his mothers wishes. Never was it suggested that any of the proposals were fraudulent.

meauxna

Boiler, I disagree.. the replies have put words in the OP's mouth. The OP said "One of the proposals that my friend does have a preference for due to
old family relations and background comes with a caveat. "
The preference is not based on immigration rights, from this statement. I'd even suggest that they may be looking on the groom being in the US as a liability.

I also wonder since when does a "loving marriage" become the criteria for an arranged marriage? I'll confess to never having been involved in one, but I've never understood "loving" to be a main criteria. And which definition of "loving"? Hollywood's or Pakistan's?

Just Jenney

This raises the question as to whether marrying someone because doing so would enable them to emigrate to the United States is always a negative thing.

If the ONLY reason someone is marrying another is because they might get a green card out of it, that's one thing. By that I mean the people who marry USCs with the sole intention of getting to the US, and then once they get their green cards it's SEE YA! to the USC spouse.

But on the other hand, if a potential spouse has the ability to offer life in a country where there are a lot of opportunities -- such as the US -- is that necessarily a BAD thing? I mean, you could marry someone for what they have to offer personally (good personality, job security, desire to have children, shared faith and common interests, etc.) and STILL want to emigrate to the US, and your marriage to a USC could facilitate the latter.

Maybe some people (and in this case, their families) find the fact that their potential spouse can bring them to the US legally as desirable as a full head of hair or a sense of humor. If you looked at it the OTHER way -- that is, that the person would have to emigrate to an "undesirable" country to be with their potential spouse -- no one would think twice if that person opted not to marry that person ONLY because they did NOT want to move to that country.

I guess what I'm saying is, in the case of arranged marriages, it's pretty obvious that the basis for two people choosing to marry is NOT love, but other reasons -- one of which may be the ability to move to the US. And in that situation, I'm not so sure it's fair to imply that marriages arranged on the basis of US immigration potential are (for lack of a better word) "abusing" the US immigration system.

~ Jenney

Matthew Udall

I’m with you on this one, and I’m not focusing on potential fraud either. I’m just wondering if each candidate they are considering comes with a ticket to the U.S. for the bride? Are they considering grooms that live elsewhere?

The OP does not specifically say the choice candidate comes from Pakistan, but it seems that is likely the case (or at least friends of the family who are Pakistani). I’m like you and I’m sure the family wants their daughter to be happy, and if the choice candidate only has a greencard, maybe he should look into what I wrote in my first reply. If he’s used to the arranged marriage situation, I suspect he would not worry as much about being used for a greencard.

Hopefully marriage will last a lifetime. This is a life changing event, and a pretty darn important one to choose for the daughter they love. Would they really pick an inferior candidate if that meant postponing the move to the U.S. for a while? Seems strange, to suggest such a thing to a child that I assume they love more than life itself.

Matthew Udall

Perhaps. Like I said before, there seems to be a growing segment of the world’s population (justified or not) that seems hell bent on the destruction of the U.S. (so maybe they would worry about her safety if she moved to the U.S.). Or perhaps the liability (or “an additional” liability) is that the choice candidate only has a greencard. They seem to be willing to give their daughter away to an inferior candidate for “some” reason.

Maybe she should get a tourist visa and come over for some “speed dating” (has anybody reading this ever tried that before?). I guess I’m just “new fashioned”, but I would not leave such an important decision to someone else (although I can see how a mature person might be able to take important things into consideration that an immature person might miss or not think important at the time).

scrubbedexpat099

I may be guilty of assuming the comparison was between those with GC's and those with Citizenship.

Love?, never mentioned that and anyway irrelevant for immigration purposes.

scrubbedexpat099

Every country I can think of in that category would not be exactly safe whatever definition you used. Probably glad to get away from the nutters.

meauxna

Yeah, I know
Seems to be a lot of cultural bias coming out on this thread however.

scrubbedexpat099

Well the USCIS requirement for not marrying for immigration benefit is a US cultutal statement

So is not recognising same sex partnerships.

The US is different from amny other countries in how it considers such issues.

ian-mstm

It probably only becomes an issue when one is trying to create the Kwisatz Haderach!

Ian

carpdiem

I believe it has more to do with how they think their daughter is going be happy... Marrying a suitable guy in US usually means a better quality of life and more independence for their daughter. Again there is a big difference in life in Pakistan and life in USA, a guy can be very well-doing in Pakistan but his quality of life won't be even close to the one living in US.

-Sanna

carpdiem

I am guessing he immigrated with his family to US. How long has he been in US, how long has he had green card for? because it will take him 5 years to apply for citizenship. and after that they can do an engagment and call the girl on a fiance visa. or marry her in Pakistan and do the spousal visa which takes about a year. But sponsoring on a green card takes a really very long time as other posters said....

Sanna

Zab

    > > Yeah, I know :)
    > > Seems to be a lot of cultural bias coming out on this thread
    > > however.
    > Well the USCIS requirement for not marrying for immigration benefit is
    > a
    > US cultutal statement
    > So is not recognising same sex partnerships.
    > The US is different from amny other countries in how it considers
    > such issues.
    > --

Rene and Jenny

Pakistan is not in the middle east. it is in Asia! just FYI :)

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