Why cant i seem to make up my mind about moving back to UK? I have been here 5 years, been through horrible bouts of homesickness where I am "definately" moving back then something happens!! First of all i am homesick so I go back for a holiday after one year here, am glad to return to Oz cos winter in UK is too cold! Then, get pregnant so decide to stay as child will have Oz citizenship, feel homesick after baby born so go back for a holiday, get back to oz, its summer here and am OK again.

Decide to build our own home in Oz and that gives us something to look forward to, get homesick but cant go back because of building new home. Get pregnant again(yes I know!!!!) after having second baby am OK, now in new house and very happy, then homesickeness kicks in AGAIN BIG TIME! Want to leave ASAP but cant - all hubbies family are coming here for holiday, have paid money and we dont want to disappoint them . Decide we can leave after they go home - NO, my family have booked holiday for a month, cant leave, but guess what, it is summer and I dont want to Is it just me being crazy Irish/English/stay at home mum??? Or do others feel the same, some days I think I am going bloody mad

It is never the right time, does that mean it never will be? I would love to know if others have felt the same

Well if you are mad I must be bonkers!!
I am so very torn between both places. I miss my old life but if I had I will with no doubt miss this one. I have starting renovating in the hope that it will make me stay put but still the homesickness hits bad everyday.

What we need to do is prepare for the worst and get a rocking chair in the corner and a heap of napkins ready for the dribble that will without a doubt follow such madness.... Come on expats lets go insane together
Love it...
Don't love it
Love it
Don't love it...............

No, you're definitely not crazy, at least not by BritishExpats standards.

If you've not sorted out Australian citizenship for yourself, you should also consider doing that (if you're eligible) before considering any other options.

The other observation I'd make is that if your feelings are 'mixed' then it may be better to stay where you are.

Jeremy

No, you're not crazy. I've been in the U.S. for 15 years and everytime we decided it was time to go back to the U.K., something happened -- hubby got a promotion, I got a promotion, built a house, had kid #1, then kid #2. All in all, there never seemed to be the right moment to move back. I'm a stay at home mum now and fluctuate between wanting to go back and then other times I am just really happy to be where I am. At the moment I am working on getting my U.S. citizenship (would hate to burn my bridges, so I want to be sure I can come back if things don't work out) and then we will take it from there...unless hubby gets another promotion

It's definately not just you. I think most get the bouts of homesickness - then you look at what you've built up in your adopted county and what a waste it'd be to go back....then you think of your friends and family back in the UK....then you look at how you've successfully settled here....and back and forth it goes!!

As JAJ says I think if you are at all iffy, best to stay put for the time being, lest you go through the move, shell out all the expense associated with it, set up again....then a few months down the line start wishing for the place you'd just left!

I think its that vicious expats trap, once you gone down the rabbithole, things are never quite the same again.

I always say that if you hesitate about something then you shouldn't do it.
Trust your instincts!!

I have only just become a British Expat and I am homesick already and will never settle here properly. Deep down you know where your home is.

AND FOR ME THAT IS ALWAYS WALES Baaaaaaaaaa !!

Thanks for all the advice We have been sensible and now have our citizenship so whatever we decide we can always come back. Some weeks are worse than others, then you can go months without even thinking about moving back to UK. I think I just need another holiday back there to "cure" me, unfortunately now with 2 kiddies and one income it isnt as easy/affordable as it once was

Anyway, good to know I am not going totally mad and that there are others out there who feel the same and are willing to share the experiences/advice with us all

I can really relate to your feelings. I have not been here that long and can still remember ehat I did not like about the UK, whereas my friends who have been here longer only remember the good bits about UK.
That is probably why a holiday there cures your homesickness for a while as you can see why you left in the first place.
I have my first trip back this December and I am sincerely hoping that it confirms to me that I am now in the right place.

Anyway, good to know I am not going totally mad and that there are others out there who feel the same and are willing to share the experiences/advice with us all [/QUOTE]

Absolutely true...I've just had a wonderful weekend with
lots of wonderful friends and summers here and it's
kinda great to be here...so I'm just putting off all decisions
for a few months..or until next week when I change my mind.

You never really know if you don't wanna live here or is
it just easy to blame it when life's not all rosy.

Probably good advice about staying put if you're not sure.

Still I'd hate to feel like this in 30 years and it's too late to go home aahhhhh

Ditto.....

I've come to the conclusion that homesickness and all the indecision is just part and parcel of expat life. It's something we all go through and have to live with if we stay abroad. It's like a rollercoaster with the ups and downs, you have to ride out the low points of homesickness before going up the next hill and the highs of expatlife.
I let homesickness decide on our return from Hong Kong before now, and even though I was glad my son was then born in England and not HK, I then missed the glamour and excitement of living abroad once we had returned. When me moved to Florida, I knew full well that the homesickness would return and would have to ignore my own feelings when they crop up, but it's still damn hard to do. I recently had a time where I hated this place with a passion and was very depressed with it all, but have ridden through and feel much better now...until the next bout arrives.

Some fantastic replies; I can't really add anything new. It is totally normal though to keep flip-flopping. My mind is made up to return but then I'll have a day when I feel devastated about leaving the house and my job and everything else I've worked so hard at. I know I'm going to sob like a baby when we leave here. As an expat you kind of end up with two homes but don't fit in 100% in either of them.

That's good that you have your citizenship as it leaves your options open if you do return. Does your hubby go through the same ups and downs? How old are your kids now? My oldest will probably be about three when we return and I will feel bad about taking him away from everything that's familiar, but I also know it will be much better to do it while he's that young and more adaptable.

Does your hubby go through the same ups and downs? How old are your kids now? My oldest will probably be about three when we return and I will feel bad about taking him away from everything that's familiar, but I also know it will be much better to do it while he's that young and more adaptable.[/QUOTE]


That's what makes it worse, my husband loves it here and although his family are all in UK they are passionate about him staying here too as they believe there is nothing for us there - easy for them to say as they all have each other, we have no-one here except us and our two kids. Our children are 7 months and 3 years, I think they make the homesickness worse for me as i feel they are missing out on so much family life, no grandparents, cousins, family get togthers, etc. My husband will go back if i really want, but i dont want to have to make that decision because if it is the wrong one I will always feel guilty about messing up

Our children are 7 months and 3 years, I think they make the homesickness worse for me as i feel they are missing out on so much family life, no grandparents, cousins, family get togthers, etc. My husband will go back if i really want, but i dont want to have to make that decision because if it is the wrong one I will always feel guilty about messing up [/QUOTE]


Hi Betty

Thats how I felt when we lived in Oz. The grandparents we had in Oz (my outlaws) were and are very cold grandparents, the sort that don't play with the kids or want to do anything with them. Back here our daughter has an Aunt and my mum and plenty of so called extended family via my friends but most importantly 2 very happy parents.
I always said I didn't want to be a bad, sad mum and I feel I was starting to be that in Oz as we had nooooooooooo support at all. At christmas my MIL would buy my hubby a present and my daughter and I would be given vouchers....she was 5mnths old when we took her over.!!We were treated differently to the other family members and even now we are back my outlaws still never ask about our daughter or ask to speak to her on the phone.!!!Families huh...!!!!

So you crazy Irish/English/stay at home mum I think you have done very well being there 5yrs....good on you. You have family coming out..enjoy that. Any chance you can come back for a hols and see how you feel? sorry just read the bit about that..!!!

We brought our daughter home here just before her 3rd birthday and she is 4 in 2 weeks time. She has settled in just fine. Kids do at this age don't they. Well its time for brekky and pre-school. Keep posting Betty....