Justice

mtravelkay <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected] om>...
    > Justice wrote:
    > > mtravelkay <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected] .com>...
    > >
    > >>Justice wrote:
    > >>
    > >>>>What do you mean "mostly it is my baby"?
    > >>>
    > >>>I meant mostly I'm the father of the baby
    > >>
    > >>That was the question. How are you "mostly" the father?
    > >>Either you fully fathered the child or you didn't.
    > >
    > >
    > > Well, when I feel that my wife is cheating on me, them how can I be
    > > %100 sure that I'm the father of the child!
    >
    > Then how can you say "mostly"
    > You "feel" she is cheating? Early you said you knew and had evidence.

Even if my wife cheats on me, I still can be the father of the child,
there are things that I cannot post.

Feel and have evidence(emails, chatting rooms)I didn't say I have seen
her cheating on me!

Leslie

Instead of arguing with me, why don't you post a link to the verbage contained in the waiver that you are claiming that the OP qualifies for?

Recapping what you've said in this thread.......
1) The OP suffered from extreme mental cruelty.
2) The OP qualifies for the battered spouse waiver.

While knowing relatively nothing about this particular individual's situation, you are going way out on a limb here. Basically, all we know is that his wife cheats on him and he is completely stressed out by it. Why are you limiting his possibilities when he may be much better served by another course of action?

What exactly are you basing this short sighted remark on? How often is a battered spouse NOT also the victim of mental abuse. How many spouses that get physically battered don't also suffer from exteme mental cruelty? Physical intimidation/abuse IS extreme mental cruelty. You cannnot separate the two for the convenience of this argument. In the context of marriage (and that is what we are discussing, so don't bring up any battery outside of the spousal context), I can see how mental abuse could occur without physical battery. I do not see any possible way that physical battery could occur without mental cruelty.

Andrew DeFaria

Justice wrote:

    > Andrew,
    > Thank you for your response.
    > I'm not trying to play the asylum card, I'm just trying to know more
    > about the options that I have, I just don't know the law, and that's
    > why I'm here.

Personally I feel you have a better case claiming asylum than abuse. You
said you had a real fear of returning (returning to where, BTW). If that
fear is well founded and justified then you possibly have an asylum
case. However you should seek counsel if you go this route.

    > How amI trying to abuse the system while I have all legal documents
    > that shows that my marriage was entered in a good faith.

You appeared to be claiming you were a battered spouse yet really didn't
show any battering, IMHO. Then you stated that you wished to stay here.
I think it natural then to assume that you were trying to say (or ask)
if you could use that alleged "battering" as a basis to stay. Since
there appears to be little in the way of battering it appeared to me as
if you were trying to use the system to your advantage by claiming
something that wasn't quite true. To me this is abuse of the system.
There are real battered spouses out there who should be afforded this
special passage and people who were not really battered should not be
abusing it.

    > Yes I want to stay in this country, but I'm not trying to use the
    > spousal abuse claim as a way to stay here,

Sure sounded like you were. If not then sorry.

    > I'm just telling facts about my situation and asking if that is
    > considered as a battered spouse, especially when you search the web
    > for the meaning of "battered spouse" and all what I could find is
    > information about battered wives!

I understand what you mean. It's as if husbands cannot be abused yet we
all know that that is not true. Anyway, battered spouses, to me, are
those who are "put in the hospital" because their spouse hit them or
they have been extremely controlled (locked in the house, denied food,
forced to work and the wages confiscated), etc. Battered spouses are
*not* people who have simply been in arguments or who have been cheated
on. Granted, such behavior hurts too, no doubt. But your liberty was not
compromised, your person was not violated - your pride was simply hurt.

But again, assuming you have prove that your marriage was legitimate
(and I believe you said you did) then what stops you from simply self
petitioning?

--
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

Andrew DeFaria

Justice wrote:

    > mtravelkay <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:<[email protected] .com>...
    >> Justice wrote:
    >>>> What do you mean "mostly it is my baby"?
    >>> I meant mostly I'm the father of the baby
    >> That was the question. How are you "mostly" the father?
    >> Either you fully fathered the child or you didn't.
    > Well, when I feel that my wife is cheating on me, them how can I be
    > %100 sure that I'm the father of the child!

DNA
--
When something is "new and improved!". Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then
there must have been something before it.

AGUILA

Leslie66:

The LAW states the following:

Title 8CFR Section 216.5(a)(iii) The qualifying marriage was entered into in good faith by the conditional resident but during the marriage the alien spouse or child was battered by OR subjected to extreme cruelty committed by the citizen or permanent resident spouse or parent.

How I am limiting his possiblities? I encouraged him to apply for both waivers (a) marriage entered in good faith but ended through divorce, and (b) subjected to extreme mental cruelty.

When a woman is the abuser, as in the case of the poster here, very rarely the woman physically abuses the man, for obvious reasons, but usually there are some womans, that use a complete scheme of threats of deporting their husbands, cheating in their faces, not wanting to have sex, avoding communication etc, that cause an extreme damage on this men's lives.

Adultery is extreme mental cruelty as its finest, it depends in how affects the individual... but if you don't believe or do not agree do the research yourself. I don't have to prove you anything.

Leslie

You said............

"I have the report that shows the blood test result is positive,"

If your wife is (still) pregnant then exactly what blood test are you talking about? Did they do an in-vitro DNA paternity test? They would have also had to have a sample of your DNA to perform this type of testing. If it was just blood typing that does not prove you are the father. It just means that you cannot be excluded as the father at this time.

I'm not sure why any of this would be relevant in either the "extreme mental cruelty" or the "asylum" scenario.

If there are things you cannot post then you won't ever really get accurate responses in this type of forum. Have you consulted an attorney?

Andrew DeFaria

AGUILA wrote:

    > Many people call that waiver the battered spouse waiver, but in
    > reality is the battery (physical abuse) or extreme mental cruelty
    > (mental abuse) waiver... In his case it would be extreme menta cruelty,

Please note the term "extreme" before mental cruelty. Also the term
"cruelty" would seem to imply meanness. I saw nothing extreme in his
claims. Being cheated on hurts. We all know this. However it is hardly
extreme (though the way the cheating occurred, etc, can make it more
unusual, cruel and perhaps extreme, none of that was relayed in his
brief story. He is welcome to elaborate if he wants), nor is it
necessarily cruel. Many people cheat as an escape from a bad
relationship without the real intent of hurting the other person, rather
the intent of helping oneself. I'm not saying the Justice's spouse
cheated to help herself but it is possible. Others cheat in an act of
revenge. This is also possible. However cheating, in an of itself, is
not extreme mental cruelty

    > please note that mental abuse is much worse than battery since
    > physical abuse the abused person can recover quickly, however, mental
    > abuse might last even a lifetime, and its hard to heal.

I disagree. If your spouse picks up a knife and hacks your hand off I
doubt it's gonna grow back! Other physical abuse is also not as
recoverable as you seem to lead on. And we all have different capacities
for recovering from and succoming to "mental abuse". Hell I know many
people who, as you say, remain messed up in their minds as a result of
simply a bad relationship where no real mental abuse has happened - they
just got dumped and take years to recover. Some continue to suffer the
rest of their lives with depression, low self-esteem, etc, continually
getting into relationships that are bad for them. How much are these
types of people mentally abused by their relationship choices and how
much of this mental abuse is really just the responsibility of the
person in the first place?

This is why the USCIS has rightfully included the term extreme before
mental cruelty and has strict requirement of evidence WRT an extreme
mental cruelty claim. There are messed up people out there already. You
get involved with one of them then find out the extent of their screwed
up minds and decide to dump them. They have not be extremely mentally
abused by you and should not have the right to claim so and to use this
to be granted the right to immigrate.

--
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Leslie

That still doesn't show how HE qualifies.

Is that allowed? Filing both waivers I mean? I would think that would raise a lot of suspicion. Sort of like........ "I'm going to file this waiver, but I've got a back up one in case you don't buy that story." Wouldn't that be like entering two pleas in a criminal case? (I'm innocent. I didn't commit this murder. But if you find me guilty, I did it in self-defense). I'm not being sarcastic here, I'm really curious if you could file two waivers.


Oh! I didn't realize she had done all of those things. I must have missed that in his post.

In case you are misconstruing my position here, I'm not against the OP getting to stay on in the U.S. He sounds like he got a raw deal. Based on what HE'S told us, I don't think he should have to leave.

Is this your opinion or is it the law? And no, you don't have to "prove me anything". Nobody has to prove me anything. The OP has to prove the United States Government something.

Rete

Actually all we know is that he THINKS she is cheating on him. He has no proof and he has said that. All he has is e-mails and chatroom transcripts. That would not be considered cheating and/or mental cruelty.

Personally, I think Anguilla has an axe to grind with women and is hell bent on every person who is filing for a divorce now that they are at the removal of condition stage to claim abuse or cruelty so they can insure their continued residency status.

Rete

Rete

Not true at all in a court of divorce law in New York State. Adultery is grounds for divorce. Mental Cruelty is a grounds for divorce. They are not one in the same.

Personally I still don't think e-mails and chatroom transcripts prove adultery. All it proves is that one of the spouses is missing something in their lives and is looking for it outside of the relationship. Could very well be that the wandering eye spouse can file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty caused to them by the other spouse who is uncommunicative, unresponsive, withdrawn, uses passive submissive behavior to get their way.

You are hot on the lets find a way to insure your residency. If you truly entered into a good faith marriage you don't need a battered spouse waiver.

What are you so afraid of Anguila

Rete

Ray

Even more worrying here ..is that it appears Andrew and Lesley are on the same side of the arguement..

Leslie

OK. So I'm not crazy after all.

I have no problem with men claiming mental cruelty/abuse when that is actually the case. In fact, my first post on this thread was for the OP to look into mental abuse (as opposed to battery) to see if he had a case. Aguila seems to think that anybody saying this guy's spousal battery claim sounds kind of weak is a man-eater.

Leslie

I agree with Andrew quite often in these spousal abuse threads. He just disagrees with me when I say I will shoot any man that hits me. I don't get it.........

AGUILA

Rete:

I am very dissapointed with you. I think that Justice has a case of mental cruelty not solely based on the adultery issue, but rather on the treatment for anxiety and depression he has received. I must also state that the bona fide marriage waiver is DISCRETIONARY as opposed to the extreme mental cruelty wherein if proven must be granted this a big difference when you have lots of evidence about a bona fide marriage but you might still get denied.

Mental cruelty is a very subjective matter, maybe for one person having a wife that is cheating on him will not cause so much pain, but for another person it might destroy a mans life to such extreme of even commiting suicide, the poing I want to get across is if he has received treatment for depression/anxiety due to his wife behaviors then he qualifies for the extreme mental cruelty waiver.

I am not afraid of anything, I had a bona fide union that did not last and I was involved with a very abusive wife, so I will apply for both waivers and I have evidence to support both claims. Don't take it personally when I refer to the term 'woman'.

I make comments in this topic because I myself have been evaluated by EXPERTS in the field recognized by USCIS to determine extreme mental cruelty. In addittion, I have done a lot of research in the topic for several months and I have been trated for anxiety and depression disofrders as well.

Leslie:

An alien can apply for all the waivers that he qualifies in the form I-751, they would be argue separately, if you prove one then that is it you don't have to prove the other ones. You should also know that in order to prove mental cruelty/battery waiver, the alien must also prove bona fide marriage as well, I know it doesn't make that much sense. Furthermore, if an alien qualifies for more than the waiver than the one he/she is applying for and is denied the alien will not able to submit another petition based on the other waiver grounds he/she might qualify therefore the alien must check all the boxes that apply to his/her case.

Andrew DeFaria

AGUILA wrote:

    > When a woman is the abuser, as in the case of the poster here,

Really? Where? Cause I didn't see it and even the OP says he is not
attempting to claim it.

    > very rarely the woman physically abuses the man, for obvious reasons,

Not so really. Women physically abuse men every day, often not to the
point of inflicting permanent injury.

    > but usually there are some womans, that use a complete scheme of
    > threats of deporting their husbands, cheating in their faces, not
    > wanting to have sex, avoding communication etc, that cause an extreme
    > damage on this men's lives.

Really? Again, where? Because all that was said was that she cheated on
him. No mention of threats of deportation, refusing sex, avoiding
communications, etc...

    > Adultery is extreme mental cruelty as its finest,

Nonsense!

    > it depends in how affects the individual...

See this is what gets me. If say a woman cheats on her husband and the
husband is not that effected by it then it's not extreme mental cruelty?
And if she remarried and then cheats again, in relatively the same
fashion, but this time husband #2 is effected more then somehow she's
committed extreme mental cruelty whereas it was not the case for #1? I
think the answer lies with the words "extreme" and "cruelty".

--
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.