Norri

Whining is a British institution, you should know that

I'd think that counselling caution was sound advice in this type of case.

ian-mstm

I'm sorry... enough of what? Speaking my mind where others simply choose to enable? Fortunately this is a public forum, and you're not the forum police.

Now, in deference to the real forum police, I'll just step aside and allow you to say whatever you want - something you, apparently, would prefer I didn't do.

Ian

AlanR

Whining is American.
Whinging is British!

zammo567

ok thanks for the replies,and I take it all on board we know is all going very fast and we were originally planning on september her coming over,Yes we can slow things down I was just wondering on visas etc,for e.g a visitor visa how long is it 6 months gives us a chance to get to know each other etc.
And as for the previous relationship thing well I was married for 16 years so not sure was a bad previous record.

PepsiChic

if you want to get married in the uk from what ive understood from other threads and what was said earlier int his one is you need to get her a visa called "visitor to marry" (this is for USC to come to UK)

im not sure what the whole process is, but take in mind every visa process seems to need evidence of the relationship, im not sure how this will work out if you only meet once, my advice is...if your not going to meet again before you go ahead with getting married, take lots of photos of both of you together when you do meet, also make sure you get copies of chatlogs, phone bills, emails. dating as far back as you can.

This will help your case when one or the other of you move to be together.

goodluck!

penguinbar

How can you consider marrying someone you've never met? I did meet my husband online and luckiliy it worked out. A year or so before that I was conversing for a while whith someone from Australia who seemed like a great guy. I had been planning a trip to Australia as a birthday present to myself and decided to go see him. I had friends in Australia as well to go visit. Anyway he was not the guy that he made out to be all those months . He lied about alot of things (including his real name!) His mail had a different last name than he told me his was.Long story short it turns out he had fraud convictions and stalking convictions!( I found this out later by googling him) and he was dead broke and money was missing from my wallet when I was there. I'm not saying it won't work out but you really need to meet before you can even think of marriage

zammo567

Ok I see your point,I am planning on going over in April for a few months and then she was going to fly back with me,am in Scotland so a divorce here takes some time so would not be jumping straight into marriage I was just wondering about what would happen if it all worked out and we did decide to get married when my divorce was final.If she came on 6 month visitor visa I was just wondering about options after that.
But thanks for the input I appreciate it.

Just Jenney

I agree. In the OP's case, they have only known each other for 5 months online. Neither is even divorced from their spouses yet, so it's reasonable to assume that emotions and lust are part of the equation.

I know it was like that for me after my first marriage broke up (after a 12-year partnership) and I started an online relationship with a guy from New Zealand about 3 months before my divorce was finalized. Everything clicked with him and we were crazy about each other. Like the OP, we'd chat/IM/phone/email constantly, for several hours at a stretch. We started talking about immigration options and marriage before we'd met in person, making plans for the future.

About 5 months after we'd met online, I went to NZ to meet and stay with him for 3 weeks. In my case, luckily he wasn't a fraudster or creepy or anything like that, he was the real deal. But he and I did NOT click romantically. We tried to, but you just can't make something out of nothing. We got along well and enjoyed each other's company a lot, but it was clear after a day or two that the relationship (and future) we thought we had was never going to materialize. We were friends for a while but eventually drifted apart, and that was that.

So about a year later, when I met Mark online, I was more cautious and, well, level-headed. Things between us clicked even more than they had with the NZ guy, and we also started discussing the possibility of marriage and immigration -- but mostly because we knew that if things did work out between us, immigration was inevitable and involved advanced planning. But we deliberately decided we were not going to make any definite plans until after we'd met in person and spent time together. We knew we would be friends, but we wanted to make sure there was more before we committed ourselves emotionally to anything. About 7 months after we'd met online, Mark came to the States to visit me for one month. Luckily, this time it was exactly what I had hoped it would be like, and we were engaged before he left for England. We were careful to take our time and not rush into anything. We've been married now almost 6 years and Mark became a USC last summer.

Anyway, didn't mean to share my whole life history there, but I think it would help the OP (and others in a similar situation) to know that there are people out there who have been in their shoes before. In my case, I experienced both positive and negative outcomes of heated online relationships. Both started out the same way, but one was successful while the other wasn't. I think the OP needs to focus on enjoying meeting his girlfriend and the time he'll get to spend with her, and take things one step at a time. This is particularly important since both are probably very emotionally vulnerable right now as they experience the end of their respective marriages.

~ Jenney

Just Jenney

She would need to get a visitor marriage visa (not sure of its exact name) in order to marry you in the UK. She cannot marry there on a regular UK visitor visa or on the VWP.

~ Jenney

MandyNi

Just wanted to say I think that was a really helpful post Jenney. Very similar to my own story except we're just at the engagement and visa application stage.

Elvira

Agree 100%.

I am also wondering whether either of the parties have children.

Which would make the whole immigration thing even more complicated.

ian-mstm

You might have mentioned this earlier. I'm from Glasgow. I'm really glad to see that you're considering taking things a bit slower! Many of us, me included, have been where you are now - so we know what can happen when decisions are made with the heart and not the head. Relationships are difficult enough without throwing immigration into the mix!

Slàinte mhath!

Ian

penguinbar

I was crushed after what happend in Australia but I obviously got over it. You just have to be really careful with anyone you meet online. Quite a few of us on here have met our significant others online. I married a Scot as well!

Norri

IMHO there is a lot to be said for marrying a Scot, my wife says a lot about it for sure

ian-mstm

As does mine! Must be the kilt... she likes it!

Ian