dr pepper

I'm 17 soon to be 18 U.K. citizen,my girlfriend is 18 and a U.S. citizen.

we met online about 8 months ago.and we've fallen pretty bad for each other,long story short I visited for two weeks earlier this month and had a great time together,the goodbye was really difficult.And we're now looking for a way to make a more permanent arrangement.

we've looked at visas etc' and it seems marriage is the only real way to get a green card etc' and be accepted to work they're?

so is marriage the only way,we both feel happy with marriage but her family dont seem to keen so are they're any other ways?

or would it be easier for her to come to the u.k. where my family are more accepting.

penguinbar

She couldn't come and live in the UK and you cannot live in the USA without a visa of some sorts. Either of you could apply for a student visa in each others country. You've also only just met and are very young. IMHO I think a few more visits back and forth need to happen before you talk of marriage or another permanent arrangement.

dr pepper

i understand we would need a visa just which would be best for me to be able to reside in the states?

i did expect the age comment,i dont expect anyone to really understand that side of our relationship but we do both have incredibly strong feelings for each other and we do believe this is the whole "true love" thing,i would do more visits but not only is it pretty expensive but saying goodbye and leaving is cripling.

i did look into colleges and becoming a student but fee's were sky high for my interests and id only be able to reside for around 9 months then leave when my course has finished and $35,000 for a course im currently completing for free at my local college seemed a no brainer.

JSL8610

Aside from student visas and assuming neither of you qualify for work related visas, getting married is the only real possibility you have of living together any time soon. The logistics of what visa you apply for, what you need to file and when you'll do each step will depend on where you want to live and partly on your own preference.

For what it's worth, I think you, your girlfriend and both of your families need to have a very serious talk. When you've decided for sure what you want to do and where you want to live you can research the appropriate visa. Here would be a good place to begin that:

http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Pulask...ork_in_the_USA

Regards,
James

sir_eccles

A lot of us did the long distance relationship thing, don't assume we don't know what it's like. We all spent lots of money on flights, we all collected those airmiles. We were all heartbroken every time we had to say goodbye at the airport.

On the plus side, many of us feel that our relationships are that much stronger for having spent a few years several thousand miles apart and only seeing each other for a couple of weeks at a time.

Take your time, relax, finish your studies, don't do anything desperate.

katiekat

Most of the people on this forum understand "that side" of your relationship. Many of us had "strong feelings" for our spouse/ fiancé(e) which is why we married them and went through the hassle of getting a visa.

That said, JSL has a VERY GOOD POINT about getting together with both families and discussing what is necessary. This isn't something you can jump into. It's expensive, it requires lots of commitment, and with neither of you having at most more than a high school education it will require the parents to be very involved.

Things to keep in mind:
You will spend about 8-10 months apart even if you file today.
The cost runs about $3000 and I think I'm being a bit conservative there... that's just visa/medical fees, I'm not even talking transportation to/from London, plane tickets, etc.
If your girlfriend doesn't make enough money to support you (125% of the US Poverty numbers (which means all of what's listed plus 25%)) Then you have to have a joint sponsor, likely her parents.
If you look at the UK, which some people feel is easier (I disagree) I believe YOU have to be 21 in order to petition to ahve a spouse immigrate.


We all know that it's hard to be apart, but rushing into a visa because you "Feel" something isn't the right thing to do. You've met once, according to your post, for two weeks. Try spending a whole summer with her. You can do up to 90 days with the VWP and that will give you a better idea. To quote a song "Distance lends enchantment". It's always easier to say you love someone from far away because you don't have to live with them. Take a step back, cool your heels and work from the logic stand point. Emotional decisions are often stupid decisions.

penguinbar

Agreed. My husband and I met online and did the K1 route. Not trying to put a damper on things but I remember there was another teenage couple on here in the same sort of situation and it didn't turn out so well. You need to get to know each other. If you do things through the proper channels you will have to spend time apart. As mentioned spending two weeks when on holiday is alot different than living together or being married . The fantasy usually doesn't match the reality.

dr pepper

okay,i do kinda see there is a irrational side to it.

il talk to her more about a longer visit etc',thanks for the points.

do the goodbyes get any easier?

jeffreyhy

What? You think you're the first teenagers to have experienced love (or what you think is love), and the rest of us came into the world as fully mature adults having missed that part of life?

I suspect that you are the one who may not really understand your relationship - we've been where you are, you have not yet been where we are.

Regards, JEff

Peaksy

Sadly not .... Harder if anything.

cosmicjunkie

Awwww bless you! My husband and I did the long distance thing for four years. I went to the States 6 times to visit him and each of my visits were 2 months long. We also spent hours a week on skype. We wanted to be sure that we were really right for each other before we finally decided to get married. It was always very difficult to say goodbye, but after a while you sort of get used to it. I would go home and throw myself back into my work and my daily activities would resume. I would feel quite 'raw' for a week or so, then I'd start to feel better and look forward to my next visit. Marriage is not to be taken lightly. It's a huge commitment. Moving to the States is a massive thing to do. You have to leave everything behind. Your family, friends...everything you know. You need to give yourself more time to get to know each other better. Finish your studies, you'd be foolish not to. It's not easy finding a job over here. You need to prepare for your future, be it here or there. If it's meant to be, it WILL happen!

cosmicjunkie

I suspect that you are the one who may not really understand your relationship - we've been where you are, you have not yet been where we are.

Regards, JEff[/QUOTE

hilarious, but very wise!

ian-mstm

Yes... they do, moreso when your hormones have settled down a bit.

Ian

Noorah101

I was going to say yes, the goodbyes DO get easier! Because your relationship grows stronger, you aren't afraid the other will run off and find someone else, you make plans as you go, so you have a foundation to build on, and each visit brings you closer to the time you feel ready to make the final commitment of marriage, and knowing the goodbyes will end in the near future.

If it's anything other than the above, it's not the right relationship (IMHO).

Rene

jeffreyhy

I agree with Ian and Rene. At least for me, it also got easier with time. Stating it my own way - as the relationship developed and became more and more a real relationship.

Regards, JEff