Desperately needing help/advice!
Nov 24th 2008, 11:17 am
#46
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: Desperately needing help/advice!
It is:
VAWA
Going Home
Remain here out of status and hope for Amnesty.
Sounds a bit blunt, but only one do you have any contol over.
VAWA
Going Home
Remain here out of status and hope for Amnesty.
Sounds a bit blunt, but only one do you have any contol over.
Nov 24th 2008, 11:54 am
#47
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,182
Re: Desperately needing help/advice!
Looks like a specialized field to me - not something for just any immigration lawyer.
Nov 24th 2008, 1:31 pm
#48
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 17
Re: Desperately needing help/advice!
thanks guys / gals 
as it is ive pretty much told him a short while ago some things similar to what we spoke about here, but not in great detail
and his response is..well wait and talk to your lawyer see what she says, then decide what you (me) wants to do and we'll talk about it.
rough considering he knows what id like but wont go that route
but i'll be sure to keep an update on what eventuates
as it is ive pretty much told him a short while ago some things similar to what we spoke about here, but not in great detail
and his response is..well wait and talk to your lawyer see what she says, then decide what you (me) wants to do and we'll talk about it.
rough considering he knows what id like but wont go that route
but i'll be sure to keep an update on what eventuates
Nov 24th 2008, 1:42 pm
#49
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2002
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 38,865
Re: Desperately needing help/advice!
You're walking headlong into a trap. He wants to know what you're going to do, so that he can arm himself against you. Except, perhaps, as it pertains to the children, you are not obligated to talk to him about anything. Do *not* try to bargain with him... you will lose.
You still think he's a nice guy... but he currently has the upper hand and he knows it... and he *will* take advantage of it.
Ian
You still think he's a nice guy... but he currently has the upper hand and he knows it... and he *will* take advantage of it.
Ian
Nov 25th 2008, 1:52 am
#50
Queen of my house
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,043
Re: Desperately needing help/advice!
There are always two sides to a story.
If he were mine I would have no trouble recognizing that he is an abuser. Its sometimes very difficult when you are at the receiving end of abuse to acknowledge it. So dont acknowledge it for yourself, do it for your childrens sake.
You quote instances in day to day life of his refusing to take part as a parent and a partner. You also quote occasions of emergency when he chose to do what he wanted to do instead of being a supporting partner and parent. Both of these are abusive actions. Get your attorney to assist in filing the necessary immigrations papers on VAWA grounds. If you do not already have a court order for child support consider strongly doing this as it is likely that once your husband knows he is being cited as abusive he will withdraw child support.
Lastly please ask yourself how could a loving partner abuse you by telling you he was interested in other women? Try to be honest with yourself for your sake and your childrens sake.
I wish you strength and good fortune with dealing with all you have before you. I wish that also for your children.
If he were mine I would have no trouble recognizing that he is an abuser. Its sometimes very difficult when you are at the receiving end of abuse to acknowledge it. So dont acknowledge it for yourself, do it for your childrens sake.
You quote instances in day to day life of his refusing to take part as a parent and a partner. You also quote occasions of emergency when he chose to do what he wanted to do instead of being a supporting partner and parent. Both of these are abusive actions. Get your attorney to assist in filing the necessary immigrations papers on VAWA grounds. If you do not already have a court order for child support consider strongly doing this as it is likely that once your husband knows he is being cited as abusive he will withdraw child support.
Lastly please ask yourself how could a loving partner abuse you by telling you he was interested in other women? Try to be honest with yourself for your sake and your childrens sake.
I wish you strength and good fortune with dealing with all you have before you. I wish that also for your children.
Nov 25th 2008, 1:56 am
#51
Queen of my house
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,043
Re: Desperately needing help/advice!
You're walking headlong into a trap. He wants to know what you're going to do, so that he can arm himself against you. Except, perhaps, as it pertains to the children, you are not obligated to talk to him about anything. Do *not* try to bargain with him... you will lose.
You still think he's a nice guy... but he currently has the upper hand and he knows it... and he *will* take advantage of it.
Ian
You still think he's a nice guy... but he currently has the upper hand and he knows it... and he *will* take advantage of it.
Ian
To the OP: It is much easier for him to be manipulative and "fake" compassion/feelings for you because he has already checked out of the relationship. He is thinking about his future and what is best for him, not you. You need to do the same. Believe me, I know, I've been there.
