Auspicion

Just wondering if anyone can advise, I've posted on this forum before, as I have a very long term relationship with an American citizen ( who lives in FL ). I myself am British, I live and work in Britain and we have spent the past few years visiting each other as often as possible. We have discussed getting married and living together but all the complex rules etc put me off and we have tried to be content with just this long distance dating for many years now. We both have work commitments and family ties and responsibilities in our separate countries. However, we are soon to have our first child together, and I feel awful now that we didn't sort this out better before, but I have no idea what the rules are around either coming to the States to give birth so my partner can share with me, or with him coming here for the time being and then he is concerned whether the baby will have American citizenship rights later on. He wants us there with him permanently, obviously. It's all become very complicated! I wonder if anyone can advise me *clearly* and concisely, because I get panicy and upset soon as things start sounding too complex to understand...I'm worried that if we start anything legal now and we have to wait months for decisions and whatever the baby will be born before we have permission to see each other again. And I would really like for us to be raising our baby *together*. Can anyone advise?

Alon Brodski

Hello!

Well....I myself had a similar problem....even worse,perhaps....So
unfortunately I know almost everything about what're
asking...My personal situation is somewhat different,but alike...I'm a
naturalized Israeli citizen who came to the US as a
visitor and got married there and we have a 1 yo daughter Savanna...On the
opposite ,it all was happening in New England (ME and VT).I lived in
NYC....We even had a DNA test done that came back over 99,98% positive.
Needless to same that we're now divorced and my ex-wife has a physical
custody of a child and I have shared parental rights and child support
obligations.Altogether I spent about 5,5 years in the US....
Since the immigration procedures in such cases in the US are extreamly
complicated and unlike in Israel (and possibly the UK) there're differences
in Law devision between federal Gov't (that has control over immigration)
and state Gov't that
controls family matters,it creates constant "Catches 22".
May be in your case it's somewhat easier if you're together ,BUT....1st of
all...the US DOESN'T recognize de facto marriages for Immigrational
purposes...it has to be OFFICIAL.In some states...like VT..don't know about
FL,but FL is a very old fashioned state.....so in VT they do have state
recognized de facto marriages for FAMILY matters ONLY.
But the problem is...it's not the STATE Gov.'t that issues an immigration
visa,it's the FEDERAL Gov't in DC.
If you didn't overstay your allowed time in the US,then I don't see why
there would be a problem of you visiting there...
But if an immigration officer sees you "very pregnant" and you want to
enter the US at that time..he/she could deny you the entry....and they
wouldn't listen who's the father of the child..esp. when you can't prove it
to them....
It probably would be easier to give birth in the UK where the US citizen dad
would be staying there...
As far as US citizenship goes....you can give birth on Mars...it wouldn't
matter...what would..is to establish paternity....
through either DNA testing or otherwise....then to report a birth of US
citizen overseas to US embassy.
And if one of child's parents is a US citizen,then the child gets the
citizenship anywhere....
What I would advise....is for you to get LEGALLY married first of
all..sooner the better.
After the birth of the child in the UK to establish paternity...if you're
married BY THEN,then DNA testing is no neccesary,but won't hurt either,'cos
american Family Courts assume that a child born not out of wedlock is
parties' child.
To report the birth to US mission in the UK and then to decide where you
both want to live..Europe or the US...
and act accordingly...and GET A LAWYER...and a good one....
So legally your question is not all that complicated...the most complicated
part is to stay together with your spouse before you get your GC...Americans
have a tendency to run away :-)

Alon.

HunterGreen

I'll keep my opinions to myself here.

I would advise you to go to the US Marriage Based Visas forum here on British Expats, and read the root post about FAQ's. That should give you insight in your options. Read it carefully and don't panic. Where's panic going to bring you? If you're going to have a baby you'd better learn not to be all panicky (oops, one opinion got away there).

I'm not trying to be mean, but you need to calm down and sort things out for your kid's sake. Start by reading the FAQ's.

Elaine

meauxna

As you've been panicked for over 6 months and have not taken the information given here 'on board'; what exactly is it you want to know?
You have to decide where the 2 of you want to live, then one of you immigrates there.
Previously, you said you'd move to FL. Now that you're pregnant, unless your man can easily add you to his health insurance, you may be better off financially delivering in the UK where it won't cost you anything (much, anyway).

There's basically 3 ways to immigrate based on this relationship and all will require that you marry. You can see a side by side comparison here:
http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?pg=compare

Clearly and concisely? The FAQs don't seem to agree with you, so your USC should begin interviewing lawyers who are members of AILA (immigration specific) and remove the panic and responsibility from the equation. I'm sure you don't need those right now!

HunterGreen

After reading Meauxna's reply I realized there must be some history... then reading your past posts I see that 8 months ago, Meauxna gave you the advice that I just gave you. Now I'm going to post what I didn't post in my first reply.
Hun, you and your man need to get your act together. Closing your eyes to the scary paperwork isn't gonna make it go away. If you want to move to the US you're going to have to go through it. If you can't handle it on your own, hire an attorny. But please DO something... you've been scared about this for a while now and especially with being pregnant, that's not good. Don't even start thinking about doing it illegal... it will come back and bite you in the ass down the road. You have a kid to think about now (well, almost).
If he could move to the UK for a while and get residency there (I think that doesn't take too long in the UK?), you can have your baby at home with your NHS insurance and your partner by your side. Then y'all get married, file an I-130 at the consulate for a CR1 visa (relatively fast too) and you, him and the baby go home to the US together, as a happy family. Oh and of course he reports the birth of the baby at the consulate... the child will be a US citizen so no visa needed, only for you.
I don't know when you're due but get your butts in gear... it's NOT gonna go away, it will only get more complicated the longer you wait.
Good luck and no more procrastinating .
Elaine

noboundaries

Hello,

I am a US immigration lawyer (also Canadian and UK) currently living in London. Your problem is not so complicated and in fact is quite a common dilemma.

If you would like legal advice, you ought to get in touch with a lawyer rather than rely on various opinions. Basically, you need to start the procedure in order to be together with your child or you can opt to just be a visitor indefinitely.

Harris Chawla
www.immigrationone.com

HunterGreen

Isn't that what everyone here told her?

Of course her situation isn't complicated. But apparently they're not up to tackling it themselves.

Lucy

"Auspicion" <member13821@british_expats.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > Just wondering if anyone can advise, I've posted on this forum before,
    > as I have a very long term relationship with an American citizen ( who
    > lives in FL ). I myself am British, I live and work in Britain and we
    > have spent the past few years visiting each other as often as possible.
    > We have discussed getting married and living together but all the
    > complex rules etc put me off and we have tried to be content with just
    > this long distance dating for many years now. We both have work
    > commitments and family ties and responsibilities in our separate
    > countries. However, we are soon to have our first child together, and I
    > feel awful now that we didn't sort this out better before, but I have no
    > idea what the rules are around either coming to the States to give birth
    > so my partner can share with me, or with him coming here for the time
    > being and then he is concerned whether the baby will have American
    > citizenship rights later on. He wants us there with him permanently,
    > obviously. It's all become very complicated! I wonder if anyone can
    > advise me *clearly* and concisely, because I get panicy and upset soon
    > as things start sounding too complex to understand...I'm worried that if
    > we start anything legal now and we have to wait months for decisions and
    > whatever the baby will be born before we have permission to see each
    > other again. And I would really like for us to be raising our baby
    > *together*. Can anyone advise?

If you're not willing to get married, it's going to be very difficult for
you to live in either country together.

I would seriously reconsider that option, because it would be far and away
the simplest way for you to move to the states in your situation.

Lucy

Chris Parker

The baby will have U.S. citizenship at birth, even if born outside the U.S., especially if the father agrees that the child is his, cooperates, and you can prove the relationship.

Here are the rules:
http://travel.state.gov/acquisition.html

After you have the birth certificate and supporting evidence, you and/or the father would go to the U.S. embassy and apply for a "Consular Report of Birth Abroad."

As far as raising the child together when you both live in different countries, well you both will have to practically figure out how to do that on your own.


CP

Auspicion

Thank you to everyone for your input. I think the lawyers point was very good, thank you for that, I checked out your site too, and it seems very positive. Made me feel slightly less worried.

I'm glad that from a legal viewpoint it is not such a complicated issue, perhaps it just seems so being inside it. It's all very well for anyone to stand at the outside and say" you're making a real hash of this" but ppl perhaps forget that there are real people and real relationships behind the legalities that sound so forbidding.

I think I shall need a lawyer to help deal with all this as it seems much more secure that way and not half so intimidating.

I know I am guilty of procrastination, but people forget the emotional impact of so much change... it takes time for me to get my head round all of this. I have been fortunate to have been able to be financially independent here due to my own business, all my own hard work for many years now and of course moving means giving all that up and starting from scratch again. I've been able to help my partner and his family, long term financially, which is one of the reasons doing things this way has seemed acceptable for so long. The emotional issues are another. There are many many marriages that could not survive a long term distant separation as we have.

Of course I wouldn't think of doing things illegally, I'm not trying to make a mess, but to straighten one out!! I've never done an illegal thing in my life and I'm not about to start now. I've never outstayed my visa waiver or used it for anything other than tourism. Breaking the rules would just be plain silly.

I'm sure that for some people all the FAQ's etc seem self explanatory but to me the words start to merge the more I read and I just worry more and more.

I would far rather give birth here than in the States, but speaking with my partner I see his worries around that and do not feel that I can push an issue he is uncomfortable with.

I have a hospital appointment today for the baby, so after I have dealt with all that, I can put my mind more clearly to this. I think I shall be of necessity, seeking legal advice. Thank you all again for your help.

HunterGreen

Honey, I sure hope you're not talking about me here because once you hear my story you'll see that your case is nothing but simple.
If Waxwabbit can do it then so can you. Good luck.

Auspicion

Elaine, I have no idea why you would take anything of what I have said personally. Certainly nothing personal was meant!

HunterGreen

Okay, thanks. My apologies btw. I'm not in a good mood at all and I took it out on you a bit (because the things are kinda related). The good luck was meant though .

Auspicion

You're very welcome. No apology necessary. Thank you for the best wishes and my own to you!!

I saw my baby on the ultrasound for the first time today, saw little arms and legs moving, heard her heartbeat at last and I had been so worried about everything and soon as I saw her I thought... aww things will be fine That's my baby!!

Sending you some of my good mood I could hug everyone in the whole world right now.. lol Sharing this with you even before I've had chance to tell my partner!!! lol

With love, Mary xxxx

HunterGreen

That's cute . I remember how I wasn't at ease until I had counted both arms and legs. And then it was like you say - as soon as you see the baby you know things will be fine (and they were ). I have one more question, because now I'm really curious... I know I'm gonna be wondering about y'all now, lol... when's the baby due? (If it's none of my business just say so... LOL).