TweekysLove

Sorry but right now I am really hating my own country right now I am at home alone knowing I have to be apart from my new wife for 6 months.. I am so scared half the time cause I think what if the wait is too long for her and she gets too lonely or something.. Why does this whole process have to take so long they should look at the name threw the "Homeland Security" make sure they aren't a terrorist and let them come over after about a month.. Then you both fill out the paper work in the states, do all the interviews and everything.. I just really cant bealive they think its ok to make people wait so long for stupid paper work that means NOTHING!! All I want is to be with my wife and not 6 months.. Sorry guys just had to vent a little and didnt know where to do it!!

ironporer

Yes, we have to be carefull of all these Spanish, and such women-the danger of a Paella invasion followed by a Jamon Serrano coup de etat is such a threat to the american way of life....especially after the recent chimichanga/fajita/tortilla soup conquest we have suffered. Our American way of life is in peril!! The next thing you know we'll be suffering through Chorizo de Pamplona, Txistorra and Bacalao de Vizcaina and we will indeed be fully dominated by these dangerous foreigners.

Try to keep your spirits up- Sams Club phone cards allow you to call for 7 cents a minute, Phone Shark cards (available online) cost about 5 cents a minute. I know that is not the same is being with her but it helps. If you dwell on how blind our government is to our plight you will just get bitter.

I found the Serenity Prayer helpfull-

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

veryfunny

You are not alone, over 5yrs long distant relationship, just like you we have to wait until the INS approve us.
Hang in there!!!!

Rockgurl

2 years and 8 months here. It really does suck. BCIS should be held accountable for mental cruelty!

Tony Leach

Our relationships are like a pair of scissors.
Joined, so that we may be apart, but in the end we are always together in
one way or another.
But beware anyone who tries to come between us.

Hang in there - all these times apart make you want to be together more.
And as your filing now it is the last time you will be apart.
The longest, but the last.

And as my signature says...

'A Rough Road Leads to the Stars'

Your time will come, trust me

Best Wishes to everyone who is away from the one they love...
--
Tony

'Ad Astra Per Aspera'
'A Rough Road Leads To The Stars'

Cheltenham, UK

OlenkaKyiv

"Just stay positive. All bad thoughts and sorry that i am not with my Lovely won't help me, won't make Nebraska be faster. Don't sigh, because when you sigh it means that it is hard for you. You must smile and all people around you will understand that you are ok and everything is good. If everyone thinks that everything is ok so it is so and it will be so" - these words I tell my mom, who is worried about me very much.
For me and hope for us also the most important thing must be smile, smile when it is hard, smile when you want to cry, when you feel lonely.

I don't like to tell and to hear that SOON I will be with him, that SOON I will have an approval. I hate this SOON, because SOON for me is 2 hours or a day, not 7 months i have now. So I tell to myself: "hey Olenka, be easy, you have him and be happy with this." I love to dream... i am great dreamer. I close my eyes and imagine him and myself together, we do shopping together, go to the theatre and do different things... you know what I mean. Maybe this moment I look like a strange girl from the other side, but I am so happy to be with him even not in reality. I know that i will be with him.... not soon because i don't know how long this SOON will be.... but I will be with him... and the moment when i am with him, i will recall Nebraska and all process like a night mare, but I feel easy now because I know that this nightmare i will recall being with my Lovely.

Please, chin up, because your soul mates don't want to see you so sad!!!! be cheerful only because of them.... be cheerful for BCIS will be in rage that we are not upset because of its tricks!!!

Wish you luck,
Olenka

Michelle.Moir

I fully understand what your feeling right now it does hurt not being
with your loved one, no one or nothing will take that feeling away until
your together for good , that time will come

I think that in this day and age of technology there should not be this long
wait when it comes to paperwork since most use the Computer's
....Unfortunately we still rely on humans to do most the work required for
this process .....Pity eh....LOL....

I am on month 4 for this wait and its feeling like a life time but I guess
come month 6 I will be feeling things are gonna come through for me and my
man I just can't wait !
I'm getting sick of being alone 24/7 without my partner ....simple things
that we all take for granted are more of an issue because we didn't realise
how much your partner means to you !
If anything Good that comes out of this process....It's a Strong Loving
relationship we all dream about having ...I got that !

Good Luck and Hang in there
Michelle & Herb

"TweekysLove" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > Sorry but right now I am really hating my own country right now I am at
    > home alone knowing I have to be apart from my new wife for 6 months..
    > I am so scared half the time cause I think what if the wait is too long
    > for her and she gets too lonely or something.. Why does this whole
    > process have to take so long they should look at the name threw the
    > "Homeland Security" make sure they aren't a terrorist and let them
    > come over after about a month.. Then you both fill out the paper work
    > in the states, do all the interviews and everything.. I just really
    > cant bealive they think its ok to make people wait so long for stupid
    > paper work that means NOTHING!! All I want is to be with my wife and
    > not 6 months.. Sorry guys just had to vent a little and didnt know
    > where to do it!!
    > --
    > Posted via http://britishexpats.com

cindyabs

Taking this out of the above:
So I tell to myself: "hey Olenka, be easy, you have him and be happy with this." Good girl!


That is the crux of it-apart or together you HAVE each other. Worrying about what being apart will do to your relationship won't help matters AND it doesn't give your significant other much credit.

bubbadog

Believe me, I understand the frustration you are feeling! I go through this every day too! But, I keep telling myself, look at the big picture....this too shall pass and in the end we will be together forever. The dream of the end result is what keeps me going...that and really cheap international phone cards!

msrourke

My fiancee, Iang, and I have been separated for well over a year now. We went 5 months at point before seeing each other. I just got back from Thailand a week or so ago after not seeing her for 7 months. This is my second marriage and I have to tell you something.....

The trust and love that has developed in the year and some odd months is incredible. My first marriage lasted 17 years and in those 17 years I never felt the love or gave the love that I experience now. My ex and I never had the trust for each other that Iang and I have now. The ex and I knew each other for 3 months before we were married, it was too easy, too quick, we never really developed trust and love properly.

I attribute my new experience to the separation that Iang and I have gone through during our relationship. You must trust your other half now and you must not even think about "what if" (can't cross a bridge until it is built). I believe a marriage is rooted in love and love is rooted in trust. If the trust you have for her isn't 100%, when will it be? Will you always be looking over your shoulder? Being together isn't a magic pill that cures everything. Sorry to sound harsh, but I have been there.

You say

"I am so scared half the time cause I think what if the wait is too long for her and she gets too lonely or something.. "

I was like that a lonnnnng time ago, but I know Iang and hence I trust her 100%, no questions. On this trust is built our love and relationship. And, of course, I know that it works in reverse, I know the trust she has in me is absolute (and I would never do anything to change that).

What I am saying is that you should come to a point where you get over the worry and allow yourself to fully trust your new wife....100%, no doubts. You know her, her family, who she is as a person. Look inside yourself and look inside her and I am sure you will find that you are worrying about nothing. If you can get to this point you will find your stress level is way down and waiting is something to be creatively endured with a smile, not feared. If you let it, this can be a relationship building experience for both of you that will pay huge dividends way down the road.....

My $0.04 (it was long)

Mike

TweekysLove

Yeah I know I have to just relax and just be patient, I do Love and trust her with all my heart she is the best girl ever... Its just that I was real bummed last night about the thought of being away for so long and just vented I know it will work out and everything will be wonderful when she gets back.. I thought this would be a good place to vent cause all you guys have or are going threw the same thing.. Itried to Delete this post but it wouldnt let me ohwell Thank god for cheap calling cards and the internet..

bubbadog

It's OK hon, we all have days like that and we all understand...vent when you need to; we're all here to help each other!

OlenkaKyiv

thanks

Msrourke, I totaly agree that if you trust your loved one, so no doubts will be in your heart and being confidence we are stronger

TweekysLove, we all are in such frustration like you were (I didn't say "you were" ) and know we are always here to listen to you and just share our thoughts also. I always tell thin on Forum and repeat again: "When you know that there are other people who has the common situation like you in the world, it is easier to go through hardships, because people don't like to feel lonelyness." I know it is a selfish a little bit, when you feel better yourself knowing that someone else feels bad things also, but it is life and we are happy to have support and to give support

Olenka

lfaridi

sitting here alone in the dark
feeling the sadness of being apart
my heart aches for the touch of your hand
finally being together will be so grand
someday soon my wish will come true
to share the joys of a life with you
sometimes the waiting is so hard to bear
and everyone around me seems not to care
endlessly trudging through my daily chores
this lonely life can be such a bore
i need you with me for now and forever
and i'm dreaming of the day we'll say bye never
sitting and thinking of nothing but you
and the love we share so honest and true
my heart cries throughout the day
because my love is so far away
come to me darling to this side of the shore
so we can be together forevermore

Khadija

Linda,

That's very beautiful. I just got off the phone with Abdo and I'm so sad right now. I miss him so much. Usually I'm content after our calls but today's call just made me miss him even more! We need each other so much and this separation is not of our choosing. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I thank God for this but knowing this doesn't always help as your poem points out.

I glad I can come here to be with people who understand not only the happy moments but the pain of separation as well.

Patty Khadijah