Margaret

Not wanting to appear rude in asking this question, just that I'm
someone that is always curious about everything.

I've seen a few women in the newsgroup from other countries in the
past inquiring about costs on certain things such as the visa,
medical, paying airplane fees and hotel fees for the interview etc.
for themselves and their children. Some have even joked about their
savings running out. I'm getting the impression and hey I might be
wrong, that some women are having either to pay for it all or a good
portion themselves without some kind of assistance from their
fiance's.

I hope that what I'm thinking is wrong. I worked full time myself but
was basically living from paycheque to paycheque. While I was able to
manage the smaller items like police check and birth certificates,
even our passports, my then fiance insisted on paying for it all.

Please, please, please, not here to cause problems......just
curiosity.

Steggy

Margaret wrote:
    > Not wanting to appear rude in asking this question, just that I'm
    > someone that is always curious about everything.
    > I've seen a few women in the newsgroup from other countries in the
    > past inquiring about costs on certain things such as the visa,
    > medical, paying airplane fees and hotel fees for the interview etc.
    > for themselves and their children. Some have even joked about their
    > savings running out. I'm getting the impression and hey I might be
    > wrong, that some women are having either to pay for it all or a good
    > portion themselves without some kind of assistance from their
    > fiance's.
    > I hope that what I'm thinking is wrong. I worked full time myself but
    > was basically living from paycheque to paycheque. While I was able to
    > manage the smaller items like police check and birth certificates,
    > even our passports, my then fiance insisted on paying for it all.
    > Please, please, please, not here to cause problems......just
    > curiosity.

I guess that goes for most Margaret. I for one, just split
the costs, Amy paid for the stuff needed in the US, I paid
for all the stuff in The Netherlands, of course both paid
for everything after my arrival and marriage here. It can be
costly though. And the effect depend on everyone's personal situation.
--
steg

Scarlett

Hi,

I think what you're saying is why isn't the USC paying? Or the man?

I can only tell you my story and point of view on this.

Neither my US fiancé or myself have much money. We're paddling our way through
this the best way we can. Yes I'm paying for stuff on this end. But that's not
because my US fiancé hasn't repeatedly offered to send money.. It's because I
know things are going to be really tight until I get my work authorisation so
I'd rather he saved what he can over there than bail me out now. If I can
struggle through this side - with a little help from my lovely mum who does
what she can - then we'll be in a better position when we're finally together.

Also I admit to a bit of pride being involved. Why should the USC be doing all
the paying? This is a partnership. And there are bills on both ends. I have a
plane to catch and papers to file. Other stuff. But meanwhile my fiancé has had
to get a bigger apartment, get stuff we need for the children, file papers too.
I know if I needed anything it would be there almost before I asked. But I
don't want to ask right now. I'd rather he stashed anything he can in the bank
for later, when there'll be yet more forms and fees to deal with.

If either one of us were rolling in money it would make sense for that one to
shoulder the burden. But neither of us is.

When we're together (finally - sigh) money won't be an issue because there
won't be any left (sorry, just adding a bit of humour ) it won't be an issue
because when we're together we always share what we have anyway.

Hope this helps address your curiosity a little

regards
-=-
scarlett

J

Actually, I am paying for all the costs. It makes no difference to me as
once she is here everything I have will be shared with her anyway. Its just
easier this way and I plan to be with her for the interview.

J

"Margaret" wrote in message
news:f51bd102.0210101403-
[email protected]...
    > Not wanting to appear rude in asking this question, just that I'm
    > someone that is always curious about everything.
    > I've seen a few women in the newsgroup from other countries in the
    > past inquiring about costs on certain things such as the visa,
    > medical, paying airplane fees and hotel fees for the interview etc.
    > for themselves and their children. Some have even joked about their
    > savings running out. I'm getting the impression and hey I might be
    > wrong, that some women are having either to pay for it all or a good
    > portion themselves without some kind of assistance from their
    > fiance's.
    > I hope that what I'm thinking is wrong. I worked full time myself but
    > was basically living from paycheque to paycheque. While I was able to
    > manage the smaller items like police check and birth certificates,
    > even our passports, my then fiance insisted on paying for it all.
    > Please, please, please, not here to cause problems......just
    > curiosity.

Margaret

Thanks everyone for all the input.

I personally felt like a "crud" for not being able to put out more
"money-wise". It was just my own personal financial situation. Having
been the single mom also, I was used to being independent and didn't
rely on others. I mentioned this several times to him at the time.
He told me that I was being ridiculous as he made more money and
anyhow once I came to the U.S. I would be out in the future working
and making my contribution then.

Glad you guys didn't get upset at my question. Thanks.





"J" wrote in message news:...
    > Actually, I am paying for all the costs. It makes no difference to me as
    > once she is here everything I have will be shared with her anyway. Its just
    > easier this way and I plan to be with her for the interview.
    > J
    > "Margaret" wrote in message
    > news:f51bd102.02101014-
    > [email protected]    ...
    > > Not wanting to appear rude in asking this question, just that I'm
    > > someone that is always curious about everything.
    > >
    > > I've seen a few women in the newsgroup from other countries in the
    > > past inquiring about costs on certain things such as the visa,
    > > medical, paying airplane fees and hotel fees for the interview etc.
    > > for themselves and their children. Some have even joked about their
    > > savings running out. I'm getting the impression and hey I might be
    > > wrong, that some women are having either to pay for it all or a good
    > > portion themselves without some kind of assistance from their
    > > fiance's.
    > >
    > > I hope that what I'm thinking is wrong. I worked full time myself but
    > > was basically living from paycheque to paycheque. While I was able to
    > > manage the smaller items like police check and birth certificates,
    > > even our passports, my then fiance insisted on paying for it all.
    > >
    > > Please, please, please, not here to cause problems......just
    > > curiosity.

Marjeta

My guy is the USC and he is the one with the good job. Back when we
were filing for the K1 I was still studying so all I had was my
scholarship - monthly allowance (which wasn't much btw) and I was
living on that money. I still payed for most of the documents I
needed, translations, pictures etc. I guess because I'm too proud to
be asking for money. My fiance would have payed for everything and
anything, as he always says 'what's mine is yours now and what's yours
is mine'. I just feel like we should both contribute to the costs, as
much as it is possible for either one of us. He bought me the plane
ticket, since I can't really afford it. When I get to the US he will
have to pay for everything anyway, since I don't know how long it will
take for me to get a job. It's no big deal, I guess he's my
sugardaddy, but who knows that might change the other way around

Pete

Hi Guys..
Well while I was working I paid for my Fiancée to come over. I send money to
her bank acct to buy the tickets but we have shared most of the expenses. I
sent money back with her this time too to help with the filing costs..
However.. I had just completed a divorce in which I lost everything.. The
house, the equity, the contents,.. I was effectively blackmailed by my ex..
Being partially disabled she would have won a substantial amount anyway and
I offered 80% of the house and all of the contents..
She got me with a threat of judicial separation which over here in the UK is
a 5 year wait before I could do anything unless I countered with
unreasonable behaviour.. Problem was lack of finances and time scales so I
had to bow down.. Im entering the US hopefully with 3 suitcases, my laptop
and my pensions.. which have been untouched thank goodness.. So I do have
something left.. BUT the love I have for my Fiancée is more than enough for
me. My family has pulled together and has helped as much as they can... even
my 99 yr old Gran offered to pay for my tickets over this time..
The Kicker is .. my ex is apparently in the US on what I think is a work
visa, and is about to get married.. Im on the K1 route and stuck in the UK
till its through..
There is a lot in my story that doesn't appear here but suffice it to say, I
have not looked back once and thought about the losses as they are only
things.. I am fortunate to be young enough to re-build my life with someone
who really loves me and who I really love too ..
I am doubly blessed with an extended family over in the US who have been
helping out to a huge degree too ..
We are deeply indebted to many people.. all for the sake of love..
As the saying goes..

"I never said it would be easy.. But it will be worth it."

Pete.


"Marjeta" wrote in message
news:1a7d06e5.0210111506.-
[email protected]...
    > My guy is the USC and he is the one with the good job. Back when we
    > were filing for the K1 I was still studying so all I had was my
    > scholarship - monthly allowance (which wasn't much btw) and I was
    > living on that money. I still payed for most of the documents I
    > needed, translations, pictures etc. I guess because I'm too proud to
    > be asking for money. My fiance would have payed for everything and
    > anything, as he always says 'what's mine is yours now and what's yours
    > is mine'. I just feel like we should both contribute to the costs, as
    > much as it is possible for either one of us. He bought me the plane
    > ticket, since I can't really afford it. When I get to the US he will
    > have to pay for everything anyway, since I don't know how long it will
    > take for me to get a job. It's no big deal, I guess he's my
    > sugardaddy, but who knows that might change the other way around