Advise needed
Jul 14th 2008 | 12:45 am
#46
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Re: Advise needed
It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, that a girl (in Wisconsin) can legally consent to marriage but not to sex at 16. (As stated before, she can *consent* to sex if she is married.) Remember though, that as someone else pointed out, while in the UK 16-year olds are largely adults, that is not the case in the US. I for one definitely see a criminal offense in there somewhere if a 30 year old teacher were to start sleeping with his 16 student, for instance.
I highly doubt, anyone at USCIS will be asking questions . . . hmm . . . she's only 16 and they are engaged . . . so they must have slept together. There is no *real* proof and it is largely irrelevant to them. SR only becomes an issue when she or her parents report it.
Everyone under 18, who the step-father/mom's bf is supporting (who are counted as dependents on his tax returns) has to be included in the household size. It is interesting that he is not married to your GF's Mom . . . your GF, her baby and her Mom might not be part of his *household* with this in mind. I would carefully read through the Step-by-Step Instructions of the I-864 and if you can't make a determination call an Immigration Attorney (sounds like you'll need one anyway)!
You can have multiple co-sponsors.
I highly doubt, anyone at USCIS will be asking questions . . . hmm . . . she's only 16 and they are engaged . . . so they must have slept together. There is no *real* proof and it is largely irrelevant to them. SR only becomes an issue when she or her parents report it.
Everyone under 18, who the step-father/mom's bf is supporting (who are counted as dependents on his tax returns) has to be included in the household size. It is interesting that he is not married to your GF's Mom . . . your GF, her baby and her Mom might not be part of his *household* with this in mind. I would carefully read through the Step-by-Step Instructions of the I-864 and if you can't make a determination call an Immigration Attorney (sounds like you'll need one anyway)!
You can have multiple co-sponsors.
one less thing to worry about and no her parents love me its all good, her mother considers me a son.He has two children with her mother that are his. My gf is not the child of the mothers bf, her real father pay's child support for her and her two other sisters.
Will the state benifits have any effect on her being the main sponsor or otherwise or will it help?
I imagine the real father of her child to be born will prolly be made to work to pay child support.
Also note: He is renting the current place they live.
I should probably also add, marriage at 16-17 in wisconsin requires "parental" consent.
Also will note that the bf is not married to her mother due to long drawn out settlements and divorce.
Last edited by Tommylee; Jul 14th 2008 at 12:48 am.
Jul 14th 2008 | 12:50 am
#47
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From: NW Chicago suburbs
Re: Advise needed
Ok will forget the sr issue.. one less thing to worry about and no her parents love me its all good, her mother considers me a son.
He has two children with her mother that are his. My gf is not the child of the mothers bf, her real father pay's child support for her and her two other sisters.
Will the state benifits have any effect on her being the main sponsor or otherwise or will it help?
I imagine the real father of her child to be born will prolly be made to work to pay child support.
Also note: He is renting the current place they live.
I should probably also add, marriage at 16-17 in wisconsin requires "parental" consent.
Also will note that the bf is not married to her mother due to long drawn out settlements and divorce.
one less thing to worry about and no her parents love me its all good, her mother considers me a son.He has two children with her mother that are his. My gf is not the child of the mothers bf, her real father pay's child support for her and her two other sisters.
Will the state benifits have any effect on her being the main sponsor or otherwise or will it help?
I imagine the real father of her child to be born will prolly be made to work to pay child support.
Also note: He is renting the current place they live.
I should probably also add, marriage at 16-17 in wisconsin requires "parental" consent.
Also will note that the bf is not married to her mother due to long drawn out settlements and divorce.
I don't think (but could be mistaken) that you can generally claim unrelated persons as dependants. So if that is correct, I would think that your g/f, her mother, and her other two sisters would NOT be dependants. If so, that is good - he would have to earn enough for 4 (him, his 2 daughters, and you).
I hope to see some other folks comment here, and confirm if I am correct.
As far as if your g/f receives state benefits - it really doesn't help nor hurt. She will be your sponsor, but will not have the sufficient income. State benefits cannot be used as income anyway, for this purpose. So it shouldn't really matter either way, she will need the co-sponsor.
Jul 14th 2008 | 12:54 am
#48
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From: NW Chicago suburbs
Re: Advise needed
You know, I just had another thought. Forgive me if I'm intruding, but you are a young guy...
This is quite a complicated situation. If the former b/f retains parental rights, which it sounds like he is going to, that will complicate your life. If he's paying child support, that means to me he has parental rights.
He could be granted visitation. More importantly, she could be restricted from moving (say even 100 miles) away - until that child is 18. She could need his permission to take the child on vacation.
I don't know Wisconsin state law, and those were just examples of what could happen. But some people's lives are quite restricted by ties to an ex via a child.
This is quite a complicated situation. If the former b/f retains parental rights, which it sounds like he is going to, that will complicate your life. If he's paying child support, that means to me he has parental rights.
He could be granted visitation. More importantly, she could be restricted from moving (say even 100 miles) away - until that child is 18. She could need his permission to take the child on vacation.
I don't know Wisconsin state law, and those were just examples of what could happen. But some people's lives are quite restricted by ties to an ex via a child.
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:00 am
#49
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Re: Advise needed
You know, I just had another thought. Forgive me if I'm intruding, but you are a young guy...
This is quite a complicated situation. If the former b/f retains parental rights, which it sounds like he is going to, that will complicate your life. If he's paying child support, that means to me he has parental rights.
He could be granted visitation. More importantly, she could be restricted from moving (say even 100 miles) away - until that child is 18. She could need his permission to take the child on vacation.
I don't know Wisconsin state law, and those were just examples of what could happen. But some people's lives are quite restricted by ties to an ex via a child.
This is quite a complicated situation. If the former b/f retains parental rights, which it sounds like he is going to, that will complicate your life. If he's paying child support, that means to me he has parental rights.
He could be granted visitation. More importantly, she could be restricted from moving (say even 100 miles) away - until that child is 18. She could need his permission to take the child on vacation.
I don't know Wisconsin state law, and those were just examples of what could happen. But some people's lives are quite restricted by ties to an ex via a child.
As to regards whats on his tax returns, i beleive it will be just him and his two daughters.
My gf's real father pay's child support etc for them etc and most likely wont count as dependants, but if anyone else has information on it, will be happy to hear.
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:06 am
#50
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From: NW Chicago suburbs
Re: Advise needed
It's not a problem (dont want to get too personal on a public forum tho) but he wants nothing to do with the child, but is most likely facing 20 years in jail. Once ive attained citizenship I plan to adopt him (seems fo far off..but as you say were both still young)
As to regards whats on his tax returns, i beleive it will be just him and his two daughters.
My gf's real father pay's child support etc for them etc and most likely wont count as dependants, but if anyone else has information on it, will be happy to hear.
As to regards whats on his tax returns, i beleive it will be just him and his two daughters.
My gf's real father pay's child support etc for them etc and most likely wont count as dependants, but if anyone else has information on it, will be happy to hear.
If he's in jail, unless he already had a bunch of money it is kind of unlikely he'll pay child support, as he won't have the money. But I can tell that is not your main concern.
In order for you to adopt the child, he would have to either voluntarily give up his parental rights, or be stripped of them by a court. I'm not sure that you would have to wait until you are a citizen - I hadn't heard of that requirement, but perhaps you know something I don't.
So ok, if there's only 3 dependants on the mother's b/f's tax return, he'd likely have to be earning 125% of the poverty leve for four.
Here's the guidelines:
http://www.uscis.gov/files/form/I-864P.pdf
lol I am about to start assigning numbers to these folks, I am getting confused with who belongs to who
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:08 am
#51
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Posts: 38,864
From: Kentucky
Re: Advise needed
I for one definitely see a criminal offense in there somewhere if a 30 year old teacher were to start sleeping with his 16 student, for instance.
Everyone under 18, who the step-father/mom's bf is supporting (who are counted as dependents on his tax returns) has to be included in the household size.
You can have multiple co-sponsors.
Ian
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:12 am
#52
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From: NW Chicago suburbs
Re: Advise needed
In Kentucky, you can get married at 14 with parent's consent.
True... but that's as much about SR as it is about violating "in loco parentis"... not to mention the whole "trust" issue.
Not true. Everyone, regardless of age, must be included in the household size *if* they live in the same household... whether included as dependents or not on a tax return. For example, if the girl's grandmother lives in the house, she might not be listed as a dependent on a tax return, but must be included as a member of the household for the I-864.
True... but each must qualify independently using their own household size.
Ian
True... but that's as much about SR as it is about violating "in loco parentis"... not to mention the whole "trust" issue.
Not true. Everyone, regardless of age, must be included in the household size *if* they live in the same household... whether included as dependents or not on a tax return. For example, if the girl's grandmother lives in the house, she might not be listed as a dependent on a tax return, but must be included as a member of the household for the I-864.
True... but each must qualify independently using their own household size.
Ian
If the mother and more kids live in the household - even though not related to the mother's boyfriend, they have to be included?
But... then shouldn't any income the mother has be included also?
Brings to my mind the question "what is a household?". For example, if I was a roommate with another woman who had a child, would those two really be part of my "household"?
I am wondering, since the mother and b/f aren't married - aren't they roommates?
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:15 am
#53
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Posts: 38,864
From: Kentucky
Re: Advise needed
I do not think that you're an idiot... but I think what you're about to do is totally idiotic.
Ian
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:16 am
#54
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From: NW Chicago suburbs
Re: Advise needed
Perhaps you are mistaken Ian?
"Your household size includes yourself and the following individuals, no matter where they live: any spouse, anydependent children under the age of 21, any other dependents listed on your most recent Federal income tax return, all persons being sponsored in this affidavit of support, and anyimmigrants previously sponsored with a Form I-864 or FormI-864 EZ affidavit of support whom you are still obligated to support."
Does not seem to include everyone who lives there...
http://www.uscis.gov/files/form/I-864.pdf
"Your household size includes yourself and the following individuals, no matter where they live: any spouse, anydependent children under the age of 21, any other dependents listed on your most recent Federal income tax return, all persons being sponsored in this affidavit of support, and anyimmigrants previously sponsored with a Form I-864 or FormI-864 EZ affidavit of support whom you are still obligated to support."
Does not seem to include everyone who lives there...
http://www.uscis.gov/files/form/I-864.pdf
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:21 am
#56
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From: NW Chicago suburbs
Re: Advise needed
Me neither
Am I right this time though? Mother's b/f would need income for 4?
btw... and sorry Tommy... I somewhat agree with you Ian, the situation as it sounds would really worry me too. I hope the young man is being as careful as he can be.
Am I right this time though? Mother's b/f would need income for 4?
btw... and sorry Tommy... I somewhat agree with you Ian, the situation as it sounds would really worry me too. I hope the young man is being as careful as he can be.
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:22 am
#57
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Re: Advise needed
Does the term "dysfunctional" come to mind. What you do with your own life is entirely your concern of course but, as others have noted in this thread, you're jumping head first into a completely dysfunctional situation... and you're not yet even 21. You have a lot to learn about family dynamics and motivation within a dysfunctional family!
I do not think that you're an idiot... but I think what you're about to do is totally idiotic.
Ian
I do not think that you're an idiot... but I think what you're about to do is totally idiotic.
Ian
I'm not jumping head first..i'm gathering all the relevant information so i can plan "our" future, i'm sure many here have more than a 5 year age differnce or otherwise...
As you can see the law of marriage there is "16" so it's obviously not as crazy as it might first appear.
edit: Ive known her for almost 3 years now. spent 4 months with her. I'm sure others trying to go this route have spent less time together.
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:25 am
#58
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From: NW Chicago suburbs
Re: Advise needed
Perfectly understandable view as any would have coming to read this without knowing facts, but it's really something you cant judge until you've personally met the family who are nothing but the friendliest people ive ever met!
I'm not jumping head first..i'm gathering all the relevant information so i can plan "our" future, i'm sure many here have more than a 5 year age differnce or otherwise...
As you can see the law of marriage there is "16" so it's obviously not as crazy as it might first appear.
edit: Ive known her for almost 3 years now. spent 4 months with her. I'm sure others trying to go this route have spent less time together.
I'm not jumping head first..i'm gathering all the relevant information so i can plan "our" future, i'm sure many here have more than a 5 year age differnce or otherwise...
As you can see the law of marriage there is "16" so it's obviously not as crazy as it might first appear.
edit: Ive known her for almost 3 years now. spent 4 months with her. I'm sure others trying to go this route have spent less time together.
It is VERY unusual here to marry at 16, I would suspect most cases would be because the girl accidentally got pg and the "had to".
However, you are grown, and it's your life - and as you said, I have not met the people. So I'm not in any place to judge.
You just seem a nice fellow, and I am hoping this works out well for you.
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:27 am
#59
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From: London
Re: Advise needed
Does the term "dysfunctional" come to mind. What you do with your own life is entirely your concern of course but, as others have noted in this thread, you're jumping head first into a completely dysfunctional situation... and you're not yet even 21. You have a lot to learn about family dynamics and motivation within a dysfunctional family!
Perhaps you are mistaken Ian?
"Your household size includes yourself and the following individuals, no matter where they live: any spouse, anydependent children under the age of 21, any other dependents listed on your most recent Federal income tax return, all persons being sponsored in this affidavit of support, and anyimmigrants previously sponsored with a Form I-864 or FormI-864 EZ affidavit of support whom you are still obligated to support."
"Your household size includes yourself and the following individuals, no matter where they live: any spouse, anydependent children under the age of 21, any other dependents listed on your most recent Federal income tax return, all persons being sponsored in this affidavit of support, and anyimmigrants previously sponsored with a Form I-864 or FormI-864 EZ affidavit of support whom you are still obligated to support."
Based on the quote you've provided, Tracy, I don't Ian think is mistaken . . . I think you and I might have been wrong to begin with --- *any dependent children under the age of 21* and *other dependents listed on your tax return*, seems to imply that their can be dependent children who were not on your tax return. And if the dysfunction pattern continues and Step Dad has kids with his ex then those kids count as well. If this is the case the OP's GF's Mom's BF is going to have quite a few people in his household.
Last edited by californian; Jul 14th 2008 at 1:29 am.
Jul 14th 2008 | 1:32 am
#60
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Re: Advise needed
5 years at 16 and 21 is a heck of a lot different than 5 years at 35 and 40.
It is VERY unusual here to marry at 16, I would suspect most cases would be because the girl accidentally got pg and the "had to".
However, you are grown, and it's your life - and as you said, I have not met the people. So I'm not in any place to judge.
You just seem a nice fellow, and I am hoping this works out well for you.
It is VERY unusual here to marry at 16, I would suspect most cases would be because the girl accidentally got pg and the "had to".
However, you are grown, and it's your life - and as you said, I have not met the people. So I'm not in any place to judge.
You just seem a nice fellow, and I am hoping this works out well for you.
But obviously ive taken everything into account and thank everyone for there advise, if anyone wants to chime in they may do so!
Obviously this can be a heated debate etc etc, but im sure we will most likely have to wait until she turns 18 and then process, i doubt anyone would be thinking im crazy then?..maybe so
