thuan001

I met my lady fiancee 2 weeks ago, I agreed to bring her to US. However, I told her that I would delay her K1 application for 2 months to make sure that by the time it is approved, I would have graduated from the Univ of Penn MBA program. I explained to her that I want to make sure that she has a good life and doesn't suffer a student's poor life. However, she demanded that I file the K1 right away. Of course, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking this this might be a marriage of convenience. So, I said that if she signed a prenuptial agreement, I would be willing to file her K1 immediately. She would not sign despite the fact that I told her I needed the prenuptial prior to my trip. She said that she changed her mind, because the only thing that I cared about was money. Basicly, I told her that the prenuptial won't kick in unless she plans on divorcing me after receiving the green card. Now, she tells me that America isn't so good, and that she could marry a rich businessman within her own country. I was flabbergasted! In our phone conversation, she told me her main concern was love and not for money. I even told her that even if she divorced me after receiving the green card, I would not do anything to hurt her legally or financiallly. After all, I understand that she is just trying to improve her life. She told me that she expected a signficant chunk of my asset ( I have about a million dollars in real estate) if our marriage does not work out. Basicly, I told her that I am not going to process the K1 unless she signed the prenuptial. It has been a week, and she refused to answer my phone calls or emails. I am stil in love with her, but apparently she lost interest in me in a matter of few hours. To the girls out there, I think most of the guys are really sincere about their love, but some fiancee are really into the money despite wha they told us over the phone. I would advise all petitioners to get the prenuptial signed before processing the K1. You can find out rather quickly if the love or money. Just my 2 cents.

Dieulee

Hello Thuan,
Just curious, are you Viet guy ?

Joe \

Just from your story she is obviously after money and a green card. I understand her
getting upset about the prenup, but when you told her about delaying the K1 for a
couple months, she should have understood. If she really loved you she would wait and
not "demand" immediate filing. Anyway, even though you have feelings for her, you
might want to reconsider what your life might be with her. That's my 2 cents.


"thuan001" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > I met my lady fiancee 2 weeks ago, I agreed to bring her to US. However, I told her
    > that I would delay her K1 application for 2 months to make sure that by the time it
    > is approved, I would have graduated from the Univ of Penn MBA program. I explained
    > to her that I want to make sure that she has a good life and doesn't suffer a
    > student's poor life. However, she demanded that I file the K1 right away. Of
    > course, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking this this might be a marriage of
    > convenience. So, I said that if she signed a prenuptial agreement, I would be
    > willing to file her K1 immediately. She would not sign despite the fact that I
    > told her I needed the prenuptial prior to my trip. She said that she changed her
    > mind, because the only thing that I cared about was money. Basicly, I told her
    > that the prenuptial won't kick in unless she plans on divorcing me after receiving
    > the green card. Now, she tells me that America isn't so good, and that she could
    > marry a rich businessman within her own country. I was flabbergasted! In our phone
    > conversation, she told me her main concern was love and not for money. I even told
    > her that even if she divorced me after receiving the green card, I would not do
    > anything to hurt her legally or financiallly. After all, I understand that she is
    > just trying to improve her life. She told me that she expected a signficant chunk
    > of my asset ( I have about a million dollars in real estate) if our marriage does
    > not work out. Basicly, I told her that I am not going to process the K1 unless she
    > signed the prenuptial. It has been a week, and she refused to answer my phone
    > calls or emails. I am stil in love with her, but apparently she lost interest in me
    > in a matter of few hours. To the girls out there, I think most of the guys are
    > really sincere about their love, but some fiancee are really into the money despite
    > wha they told us over the phone. I would advise all petitioners to get the
    > prenuptial signed before processing the K1. You can find out rather quickly if the
    > love or money. Just my 2 cents.
    > Originally posted by Dave:
    > > Shows what a good pussy, er, possie can do for you...
    > >
    > > "Baird"
    > > > Thanks again,
    > > >
    > > > The sheriff will appreciate all your hard work.
    > > >
    > > > > > It's "You're an idiot."
    > > > > classic.
    > --
    > Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Andrew Defaria

thuan001 wrote:

    > She said that she changed her mind, because the only thing that I cared about
    > was money.

    > She told me that she expected a signficant chunk of my asset ( I have about a
    > million dollars in real estate) if our marriage does not work out.

Does anybody else see the hypocracy in this?!? As is often, people seem to vehemently
complain about that which they don't like about themselves. Here this lady complains
that her man is focused on money and yet it is clear that that is truly her focus!

    > In our phone conversation, she told me her main concern was love and not for money.

Bull.

    > I am stil in love with her, but apparently she lost interest in me in a matter of
    > few hours.

My god man! Why? Isn't her intentions and her personality quite clear? Why would you
be in love with that!

    > To the girls out there, I think most of the guys are really sincere about their
    > love, but some fiancee are really into the money despite wha they told us over
    > the phone.

Many people are "into" exactly what they complain that they don't like about you.
It's called projecting.

thuan001

Thanks for your confirmation. Despite all these setbacks, I still think about her at nights... for a long time. On the prenup, I told her in the beginning that I expected the prenup to be signed and she agreed over the phone. Of course, I did not tell her how much assets were under my name at the time. I guess when I listed my assets on the schedule sheet and presented it to her, it was too much for her to give up. Now, I think she is using my love as a leverage to get out from signing the prenup. My attorney, a good friend, would not process my K1 request without the prenup that he had drawn up. Now, I am between a rock and
hard spot. Both sides won't budge.

I'm reconsidering my life with her, because it could be a terrible marriage in the long run. The chance is pretty high that it could be a devastating marriage. However, if she finally agrees to sign the prenup later, I would probably still marry her. Stupid, huh?

thuan001

The reason that I am still in love with her is that I really did have a great time just being around her. I know it is suicidal to get married to her according to all your posts, but the thought of just being with her overwhelmed any of my common sense. Thanks for all the caring posts.

Just Jenney

To be frank... YES.

What you're describing sounds more like a business venture than a marriage. Just from what you've posted here, this sounds like a majorly big mistake. I hope you make the right choice.

Best of luck to you...

~ Jenney

Michael Voight

thuan001 wrote:
    > I met my lady fiancee 2 weeks ago, I agreed to bring her to US.

Not in a hurry, are we?

    > However, I told her that I would delay her K1 application for 2 months to make sure
    > that by the time it is approved, I would have graduated from the Univ of Penn MBA
    > program. I explained to her that I want to make sure that she has a good life and
    > doesn't suffer a student's poor life.

So, you delay it by 2 months so she doesn't have to sacrifice anything for 2 months.
Personally, I think if she wants to "suffer" as a student's wife, then she should be
able to do it.

Interesting. It would probably take at least 6 months to get a interview, plus she
has 6 months to enter the country after getting the visa.



However, she demanded that I file the K1 right away. Of course,
    > in the back of my mind, I'm thinking this this might be a marriage of convenience.
    > So, I said that if she signed a prenuptial agreement, I would be willing to file
    > her K1 immediately.

You are a starving student, let you need a prenupt?

She told
    > me that she expected a signficant chunk of my asset ( I have about a million
    > dollars in real estate) if our marriage does not work out.

You have a have million dollars in real estate, yet you want to delay K1 by 2 months
so she doesn't have to sactifice by living with a student


    > Basicly, I told her that I am not going to process the K1 unless she signed the
    > prenuptial. It has been a week, and she refused to answer my phone calls or
    > emails. I am stil in love with her, but apparently she lost interest in me in a
    > matter of few hours. To the girls out there, I think most of the guys are really
    > sincere about their love,

I think you should spend time investing in a REAL relationship.

Michael Voight

"Joe (JBH)" wrote:
    > Just from your story she is obviously after money and a green card. I understand
    > her getting upset about the prenup, but when you told her about delaying the K1 for
    > a couple months, she should have understood.

Understood what? He has a million dollars in assets, but claims he wanted to wait a
couple of months so she "doesn't suffer a student's poor life". I know what her
reasons are, but can't understand this guy.

Dieulee

Lol ! You should better to give than to receive ! My fiance's never asked me like the way you did with your sweetie !

Rete

Geez I had a great time, physically and emotionally and socially, with many of the men I dated in my 27 years of being a divorced mother before my remarriage. Only one of them did I want to marry. The others I just enjoyed ;-)

Rete

gardencity

I read the threads herein and I see so much generalisation.

Qs:
1.What makes one so sure it is always a case of the pursuit for a Green Card, and not good old fashion LOVE? such as based on the large number of posters in this NG, particularly those who have jumped the hoop and are helping those yet to...
2.What makes it so definite that it is always a case of marrying out of poverty into wealth? There are poor brides/grooms in the US too....
3. Isn't marriage in itself a 'sacred instituionf' and that entering into it is a sort of a 'gamble', regardless of whether it is trans-national, East-to-West or simply locally? People change, you know. Especially in an entirely new environment, anything can happen. Adapters, to a new environment or a new way of living i.e. coupledom vs singlehood, thrive and those who cannot, will not survive.
4.Why in the world would one, from Thuan's case, 'touch upon the subject of marriage' based on knowing the other party just for 2 weeks? Perhaps Thuan, like a lot others out there with the supposed 'Trump Card', is 'guilty' of using the GC as a 'temptation'? No one knows. Only he himself.

I am merely standing on the fence, looking at the big picture with objective eyes. After all, one needs to hear both sides of the stories to be able to properly, fairly make an informed diagnosis, doesn't one? And even then, it depends on which is the more eloquent, more articulate party to get their message across, isn't it?

As an Asian, a Singaporean, I have been doing research on East-West romance for some time. While I contend that there are the 'pure GC grab-and-dump' cases, on the other side of the coin, there are those 'Trump (Green) Card' holders who use that to their advantage for 'fun, sex, etc'. We ought to look at each case with uniqueness, rather than stereotyping.

I believe the posters here within this NG are basically good, kind, objective people. So, let there be less of any stereotyping and less of finger pointing but more of really helping out with the main intent that this NG is cut out to be.

As for Thuan, you really ought to do a lot of soul-searching and contemplate on what you want, who you want and how you want it to be. 'It' refers to 'marriage'. And, seriously, can you really profess to understand your partner well enough just within 2 weeks?

Good day to all!

thuan001

The real estate was inherited. The income from the real estate pays for my graduate school and living cost. Hence, I do not live like a king but more like a typical graduate student in a seedy part of town. It is the safety of the neighborhood that really concerns me.

I have no problem having my fiancee enjoyed the fruits of my labor when I am out in the working world. I am not stingy by any means if that is what you are implying. I took my fiancee to 5 stars restaurants every single night we were together. In addition, I promised her a BMW upon her arrival. But upon the advice of my attorney, the prenupt was necessary for my situation.

gardencity

I think you should 'explain to yourself' what your real intent is. Why tell us all the 'good things' you are doing or have done for her? For all we know, you could have 'painted your other half' with black acrylic and 'yourself' in a rosy shade to distort our views...No offence meant, please.

Seriously, I am not sure I can take all you say without a pinch of salt.

Michael Voight

You went to visit her and dined at 5 star restaurants, then told her to wait two
extra months so she wouldn't have to live with a starving student????

You promised her a BMW on arrival...

And you think her focus was on your money??

Sorry, but I think your courting methods are very strange.