mandymoochops

K obviously I just had this sent via email but it was funny so i thought i'd post it - all courtesy of Jeff Foxworthy!

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .


If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .


If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .


If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada .


If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .


If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .


If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .


If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .


If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .


If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .


If you carry jumpers in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .


If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .


If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 90 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .


If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada .


If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
And road construction,
You may live in Canada .


If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .


If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .



If you actually understand these jokes,
You definitely live in Canada .

burton bunch

oh sh1t I just realised that I got everyone of those jokes but they are better than UK chav jokes

gaynor

Coffeepot

I got those as well, all hope is lost for me then

I know how to use jumpers as well

Eastbound

If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .



If you actually understand these jokes,
You definitely live in Canada .[/QUOTE]

Hi Mmc

yep I got them all too , isnt it funny how quickly you assimulate , I wouldnt have had a clue about most of them until ~ I ACTUALLY LIVED HERE

moondevil

Good post mandi

defo understand the jokes and i know someone who's hit a deer

DaveLovesDee

Oh dear!

Steve_P

Well after 45 years I guess I should know all of them and I do.

I also know people who have hit deer, moose, elk, and bison (buffalo).

Not all the same person.

Rich_007

But did they ever wrestle a bear.

R.

Steve_P

Nope or if they did they wouldn't admit to it.

We did some stupid stuff when we were young.

However we always sober enough to remember what we did.

bandit

I got them all too,

although I thought Jumpers meant sweaters at first, but then I got it

Bx

Rich_007

Jumpers ? Lions Gate Bridge, on a Friday night in rush hour, usually ?

R.

fledermaus

The poor dear, that deer. Why did all those people hit it more than once?

DaveLovesDee

Because they miss punching each other after 20 beers on a Friday and Saturday night.

AmyDavid

Same here! I had to read that twice to finally understand what it meant. Doh.

My OH was on his way home from work once and some kids went past and one of them dropped his top. So OH shouts "OI! One of you have dropped your jumper" and they looked at him like he was mental and ran away!!

flashman

How about

"If you can eat a three course meal only using your fork then you might live in Canada"