Why is it that just because we live in another country do our rellies think we are loaded?

I know my rellies dont think that! Ive made it quite clear I cant afford to get over and see them very often.

I have made sure that my family thinks that I'm struggling (I'm not) as it's a useful innoculation against parasites.

Good question, Piff! I think some of it comes from the houses being generally larger by comparison. The standard mindset is big(ger) house = big wallet, I guess?!

(Edit to add: I sense more "sister" stuff coming...lol)

Hmm - No It's Stepfather stuff this time

Our house IS much bigger than the 2 up 2 down ex council we had in the UK, but still on the small side by canadian standards.

Out of courtesy we let SF know we were selling a car - the same type he has a hankering for, we also said that if he were to buy it we would sell it for less to him. Not thinking he would go for it.

Well he wants it - even with shipping it works out for him to be around 6000 pounds so reasonable (cheapest on auto trader being 11000 pounds). Now he is saying he thought we would do a better deal for him. We got the car cheapish and we are selling it to him cheaper than what we paid for it, so we aren't even breaking even.

Hubby has said 'it's not like we are forcing him to buy it!' He is now thinking of selling a different car and keeping this one - just too much hassle dealing with families

AS FOR MY SISTER!

Just had a lovely chat on the ol' blower, she can't afford to come at Crimbo - no surprises there then!

So she is going to save for easter - if she hasn't saved enough by then she is going to come right at the end of the school term......Not even asking for a handout.

I really want to see her and her kids, miss them so much. Although we have seen family since we have been here no one from my side has yet made it, so fingers crossed (yet again) that she has no major emergencies - her car keeps working etc so they daon't have to spend their Canada fund on anything else.

Oh well enough moaning, just feeling a little down and a little sensative I suppose.

On the plus side daughter has her Honour Role Prize giving tonight WOOHOO!

So he's being offered something for close to 50% less than he'd have to spend in the UK, and he's still looking for a better deal? I'd be saying take it or leave it, or if he'd pi**ed me off enough told him the deal was off.

I have similar issues with my family - we worked very hard over 12yrs in the UK building, renovating, moving house every couple of years and slowly building up equity. No holidays for years, lots of graft to put us in a healthy financial position.

We moved here, went from a tiny mortgage to a very large mortgage, and purchased a property and business. Have lived in a converted barn for 2 years while building a new home (and doubling our mortgage). Somehow we're loaded and it shouldn't have been a problem popping back to the UK/Europe for 3 family weddings this year Apparently it's easy for us to accomodate family for 3-6mths at a time too, because we've acerage (but currently only a 2 bed house that's crammed to the seams with shipped posessions we've no room to unpack for).

If my siblings had got off their collective arses and not frittered money on new cars, wide screen TV's and holidays 2x per year, they might have been able to afford the type of housing and lifestyle they crave. I guess it all comes down to choices and priorities, but I've lost any sympathy I used to have for them.

Yeah it sort of reminds you of the CRAP you left behind doesn't it? Or it does me anyway - just don't know why we bother

EH???? Not my Chevy I hope?!?

(families - who'd 'ave 'em?)

No, we're saving the Chevy for you

No it's an Expedition - just the sort of vehicle you need for small country roads and over a quid a litre Oh and there is only two of 'em

Bloody 'ell! That'll take up both lanes over there!!

Yes,I am afraid some relatives have sensitive antennas that can detect
$$$ easily and feel that they are entitled to have a share of what you have.

I refused to talk poverty talk with some of my free loader relatives.
They avoided me now because they can't stand the lectures I gave them regarding hard work,being frugal and savings .
Yoong

Hi Piff Poff

I feel for you with the relatives. I have my in-laws staying at the moment. This is day 4 of a two week stay and though they are pretty good and contribute to everything I do find it a bit difficult when I come home from work and they are all "hanging out" and ready for their dinner!

I miss my sister too. She has two young kids and though it would be quicker for her to come and visit us here (5.5 hour flight, 2 hour drive) than it would have been in the UK I still don't think she will come. That ocean seems to get in the way sometimes..... It isn't such a big thing (well it is in some ways).

One of the reasons we went for the east coast was so that family could visit more easily, not sure if that one has played out yet or not. As for cash flow, what everyone seems to forget with us is that only one of us is working over here (we were both fulltime in the UK) and during the first year you have to get stuff like a car that takes a big bite out of your budget.

Main point - wouldn't change it for the world. Love Canada, not looking forward to going back to the UK to finish my contract before immigrating for good.

Yoong, I totally get your point about being frugal and saving, that is how we manage to obtain out items too - as well as shopping around for the best deal and travelling out of our way on some occasions - sometimes we waste our time sometimes we come back with bargains galore!

We went to an estate sale at the beginning of the year and you wouldn't believe the stuff we came home with (it filled the trunk of the Expedtition with the rear seat removed and all the other seats were loaded up too - I thought I'd be walking home Yet we only spent about $100). Amongst our hoard was a snow blower, colour tv and pressure washer.

NB Sue - by day 4 of my MIL's 3 week visit this year, I was looking for flights back to the UK for myself I think the only reason I didn't go was because I had booked Whale watching and didn't want to miss it. It is really demanding having visitors, especially ones that just don't think! OooH! I'm on holiday you must run around after me as though your lives depend on it!

Piff Poff, over the years I have to take responsibility that I did
help to enable or raise a bunch of relatives that see me as a money
mart for emergency loans.I listened to their sob stories and doled out
money without any hope of getting it back.Of course I was mad as hell!!

After lots of scoldings from my partner , friends and suffering
from bad health,I decided to look at what was going inside me
and change my co dependant behaviour.That is closing
down the money mart and dole out unpopular lectures instead
Yoong

Presumably now you've just told the world you're not struggling, those parasites are going to come a-kockin'.