SDDep

Hmmm..

Lets see...

Jumping out of the bed of a speeding truck while crossing the Oakland Bay Bridge.... yes I still have the scar from where the truck tire burned into my leg while I was clinging on for dear life...

Oh the joys of being young...and stupid...

triumphguy

And able to heal quickly!

SDDep

haha...I was pickin out bits of rubber for about a year...

wiggs1034

Trying to split frozen burgers with a sharp kitchen knife in my right hand, whilst holding the burgers in my left hand...

Went through one side of my little finger and came out the other.

mandymoochops

Yes Tuppence the gas station moment was a close second Love the hamster wheel hahaha.

Why is it when we are young and drunk EVERYTHING seems like a good idea.

I remember showing off walking back from town one night absolutely trolleyed, and saying to my mates "I used to do the high jump when I was at school, bet I can still do it".

Then proceeding to try to do a full on scissor kick in trendy 80's stilettos and a tight skirt, over some old dears privet hedge, not realising there was a 6ft drop the other side. It was messy.

Remind me to defrost things before I try to seperate them - that seems to be a common reason for losing fingers.

Strawberry

Bringing horse in from lovely green grassed field - was sloppy pooing all the way to yard......... groomed said horse and then was stood at back picking out hooves.............. forgot horse had gorged on green grass..........slop slop slop all over me head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! have never lived that down!!!!!!! - all yard full of people falling over hysterically....!

el_richo

Brings about a whole new meaning to being "Shit Faced"

Strawberry

yep and trying to wash it out with freezin cold water from hosepipe was not fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and I swear the bloody thing looked round at me first!!!!!!!!

linz3112

Coming home from the pub (a few weeks back ) and realised that the gazebo had been blown around that much that the poles that joined in the middle had come away.....my answer to fix it - plastic chair, 4in heels and tip toes!!
How come things don't seem to break when your drunk and only sprain???

mjanovitz

An excerpt from The Edge 102.1 morning show. Found it relation to a complaint against the show the CRTC was investigating. So not really the stupidest thing I have done but it's definitely up there for stupid things to do, and I cannot imagine how much that must have hurt

• Brenda:My fiancé, uh, my fiancé accidentally cut off my nipple with a weed whacker.
• Barr: Wow.
• 4
• Shapiro: That’s a good one.
• Barr: That is, that’s new.
• Shapiro: Can you explain how?
• Brenda:Um, I like to sunbathe in the nude.
• Shapiro: Oh yeah.
• Brenda:And I was in the backyard and my fiancé was doing the lawn work.
• Blundell: So he was weed whacking, was he? [Shapiro laughs]
• Brenda:He was weed whacking, yes.
• Shapiro: While you’re sun-tanning naked?
• Brenda:Correct.
• Shapiro: Okay.
• Barr: Seems like a bad combo, but go on. [Shapiro laughs]
• Brenda: [laughs] And he thought it would be funny to scare me with the weed whacker. And
• we have the kind of weed whacker that has the, uh, the wires that come out to weed whack
• the grass.
• Barr: Yeah.
• Brenda:And it accidentally hit me in the boob. And took my nipple off.
• Barr: Now, are you minus one nipple or was it re-attached?
• Brenda:No, I am minus one nipple.

mandymoochops

That goes in the same file as Souvenirs paint roller / nipple incident

dbd33

Given that I have extensive form in this regard (VW bonnet, anyone?), perhaps you will settle for the stupidiest thing today.

Farm equipment is large and heavy and is mainly designed for cutting and mashing things. The user tends to alone in a field so care is required. At the risk of being overly technical, farmy things tend to be attached to a tractor by a three-point hitch arrangement, the lower two points are arms on the tractor with bushed holes in them. Large pointed speary things on the attachment are poked through them. Attaching things is a bitch of a job requiring more hands and strength than humankind jointly possesses. A linchpin secures the connection between the tractor and whichever slashing device is in use.

My linchpin broke and a speary thing became unfettered. I climbed down. The spear wasn't far from the hole so I thought I could lever it back in place. I positioned myself between the tractor and the device, (a flailing hammer mower) and pried. I didn't have the strength to shift it. I then had the brilliant idea that, if I just lifted the arms hydraulically everything might fall in place. It might have, but it didn't.

Pressing the tractor's "lift" control caused the whole heavy thing to lift in the air and skew sideways, the spear hit the inside of my knee and the weight of the assembly jammed me against the tractor. I was discomforted. I couldn't reach the lever to lower the device and free my leg. Discomfort quickly became pain. At a loss, I hastily composed an email summarising my position on a matter of importance, sent it, and closed my eyes.

Perhaps disappointingly, I didn't find myself being licked by eternal flames, but by a large dog of my acquaintance. Energising myself by screaming obscenities, I lunged upward and grabbed the lift control, the machine fell away and I dropped to the ground, glad that I have an automatic car and full of empathy for that guy who sawed a limb off to escape from under a fallen tree.

I'm not good in the country, me.

fledermaus

Bloody hell. You OK?? Been to Emerge etc?

dbd33

I've decided to self-medicate. If the Fuller's doesn't do the trick I'll take it in tomorrow. I can report that, after one pint, it still hurts.

Bali2010

well not very dramatic compared to some thankfully - Get well soon DBD..., but I seem to be a tad forgetful whilst decorating..all separate times / places

• I forgot the tin was at the foot of the step ladder, stepped in it & well you know, kicked it everywhere.
• I forgot where the tray was & stepped in that, then managed to forget my trainer was coated & left the covered room on to hall carpet
  I forgot I had backed into a wet wall & got a wet paint bum, then sat on bed cover
  ...................now I get someone in

• walking into lamp posts is not uncommon - I'm polite, I always apologise
• pouring boiling water into a narrow hot water bottle neck is not recommended when you are shaking with cold, straight over the hand was painful!

oh, and the last one, thinking I would be happy with Thomas Cook for the 9hrs each way to Vancouver & back