Last night I had a weird dream...

Man comes up to me and says, "Happy Nice Tit Day" - very deadpan. Singular tit, not tits... so? a nice bird, a nice idiot, left or right?... I had no idea and then I woke up.

He had blonde hair and I don't easily trust blonde men.

So obviously I have issues with my mother...

Your weird dreams?

Maybe he just thought you were nice, but were a bit of a tit. Just trying to be helpful. I'll get me coat.

I dreamt I discovered an old but functional toastie maker last night, one of those beige 1970s models with a fabric cord. I was mildly disappointed when I checked the cupboards this morning and found I didn't.

What's all that about then?

We're talking dreams here, Ben... not reality.

You want to return to your mother's uterus.

... next!

Hhmmm have you swopped the wasabi peas for magic mushrooms?

I'll let you know what happens in the morning.

I have a couple of recurring dreams. In one it's been discovered I left school too early and I have to go back and do 6 months. This one started when I was about 30.

The other is where I need to pee but I can never find anywhere. The public ones are out of order, anywhere out of sight inevitably suddenly has people around.


I used to work in the DSS anda new dress code was brought in. In a dream I was at work wearing only a shirt and I was looking for something else to wear. I heard my manager coming up the stairs and I had to hide - not because I was worried she'd see me near nude, but because the shirt was not part of the new code.

This one is only truly dangerous when you discover a toilet (in your dream)

Quite right - we're all b**tards!

I had a dream that I cancelled a date with a bald headed Da Vinci model after finding out she was a man.

So what does that mean then oh Great Guru of the subconscious?

Mrs Rich had some odd experiences (uh, in her dreams) last weekend. She couldn't remember the details but said it was bizarre and 'trippy'.

We both blamed it on "passive smoking".

R.

Just because you're chilled out when you accept doesn't mean it's 'passive'.

Does anyone have these dreams after eating cheese late at night? Thats done quite a few people I know.

Last night I dreamt I had a new puppy. I was vegged-out on the floor, listening to tunes and the puppy started gnawing on my hand. I decided that I didn't like the puppy - well, I never really did but that made me certain. Then a ghost appeared from a bookcase and scared the puppy away... and scared me too but I was too 'out of it' to react. Then I woke up.

I scare you.