weddings
 

Weddings and gift lists. I understand the thinking behind these but usually baulk at cost of everything. Plus not one of the recipients of the last three gifts that I have sent have bothered to acknowledge receipt, let alone any thanks.

The invitation received today had a twee little poem saying they had stuff but we could contribute to their honeymoon. Ugh.

The invitation also said that it was a child free wedding, does this mean she isn't pregnant?

Grumpily yours

bats.

Re: weddings
 

I'd tell them you're busy re-arranging your sock drawer and can't make it.

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I know where you'e coming from Bats. Its just tacky. My favourite cousin is getting married in the sumer and this was on his weeding innovation.

"We do not have a gift list as we are fortunate enough not to need knifes and forks, salt and pepper grinders, a smudgy painting or indeed anything else. The best gift for us will be to hear that everyone had a good time and that everyone was made to feel welcome and part of the celebration."

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That's nice. Class act, your cousin.

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That's what I thought. They also put this. :thumbup:

"All children are welcome for the full evening. It will be a relaxed affair and I've yet to hear any of your kids out-talk or speak louder than us so don't worry about child disruption. Toys etc may have to be brought by you but we might be able to secure some as well."

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There you go Bats.... would you prefer to be at Oink's cousin's wedding, or a child-free one? Sort your socks out.... :rofl:

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Im going to a wedding in the summer, for acouple that have lived together for a couple of years, they dont need traditional bottom drawer type stuff, instead a very lovely poem was incuded in the invite, basically saying we are having a wishing well, if you would like to place some money in the well and make a wish, then they can buy what they need or replace cheap items with nicer stuff, it also says if you prefer to buy a gift that would also be lovely and thank you for thinking of us.

This couple have just had a baby (a bit of a surprise baby) and I think its perfectly lovely the way they have done their gift list. I would buy a gift if I knew the money was to go towards a honeymoon though I think.

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The thing of it is to try an ascertain before hand if they're going to have an open bar or they're going to cheap out on the booze.

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After seeing what a friend at work felt obliged to fork out when her best friend got married , I'm inclined to avoid anyone who may be getting married in the future

There was the bridal shower , the stagette ( hen night equivalent I think)
The wedding breakfast the weekend before as we'll as a gift

It was outrageous , how can you expect people to pay this ? And why do people agree to?

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I'm with you bats - no gratitude and no class.

Don't talk to me about frikkin weddings.

A member of my husbands extended family's new wife had 3 bridal showers! They also had a stag and doe (aka known as fund raiser) and both parents had to fork out $5k each towards the wedding as the couple decided they not only wanted a 7 course meal and an open bar all night, but also a midnight buffet and fireworks (complete with ice sculpture). Oh.. and did I mention the wedding gift list with items up to $10,000 on it? Shouldn't forget to mention the rehearsal dinner the night before either.. at the parent's expense. Meanwhile they are on a combined salary of $120k.. but wouldn't put anything towards the costs, too busy buying a $300k house and furnishing it on credit - and buying 2 new cars.

Money grabbing little bar stewards in my mind.

Then of course there are the baby showers a couple of years down the line.

:frown:

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My neice is getting married next month, and they have a wedding list on "next",

I had a good look down the list (3 pages), but couldn't find anything I would want to get them.

I don't want to get them something electrical that is going to end up in the skip in a few years, I want to get them something that will last their marriage.

One of our best presents was a silver cutlery set in a presentation box, coincidentally enough from our Aunt in Canada ;) We still have that cutlery, well most of it anyway, lol.

But my mum also had that idea and bagsy'd it first, lol.

I suppose I'd better get the finger out, or I'll be buying baby presents instead.

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One of my children is getting married this year. All of the above are sore spots but the real killer is that it's to be in a field in BC so each attendee is in for a thousand bucks or more just to get there. Thousand bucks, incidental weekend somewhere in Europe, fair enough, but a thousand bucks to go and stand in the mud and rain?

I thought maybe we'd get the attendees from the UK thermoses of weak tea and some limp sandwiches, they can sit and watch from cars, pretend they're at Canvey Island or Bognor.

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i bet there will be no free bar also:thumbdown: a wedding is not real unless it has a tacky 80s disco with a day glow DJ, the obligatory family punch up on the dance floor and kids blowing up condoms nicked from women's handbags.

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The wedding I'm going to is a budget wedding, they have hired a local community centre out in the sticks, they are doing a BBQ and having a toonie bar, there is camping available for those that are traveling from afar. They were trying to decide what chairs to hire for their guests, I suggested that they put on the invite, bring a chair - but they have more class than that.

One of the girls I work with was a bridesmaid last summer, I was horrified that the bride chose the dress and the shoes that the maids were to wear but the maids had to pay for it. I feel if the bride is insisting on a colour/style then she should stump up the cash, if the bridesmaid is paying then they should have a choice on what they are buying. All the Bridesmaids wanted a dress that was $60 but the bride insisted on $350 dresses... Greed and unnecessary expense I think.

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That's exactly what I've observed too, everyone seems to accept it as normal
I'd tell them to take a running jump

I cannot believe what people spend on weddings . You could put a decent deposit on a house.

Ben and I did our wedding on the cheap, mostly because we were at uni and I couldn't in good conscience ask my parents to pay for a big do , they were both on factory workers wages.

I brought my outfit from the rag market in Birmingham , rings were from the jewelry quarter etc. but the biggest way I made savings was when ever I was told " people expect xxxxxxx" I said " let them provide it then"

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Exactly, I feel a wedding is a private thing between the two people getting married, if they want xyz, they should pay for it.

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I think I will go to Oink's cousin's do. Maybe his Nan will be there with a flask of whisky tucked in her purse.

We upset people at our wedding by not inviting anyone. At least it didn't cost them anything. The amounts spent on attending a wedding are awful, this one says the dress code is smart suits or party dress. Well who has those handy? There should be a free bar, I think the grandparents will see to that. No kids allowed is a bit much, I don't have any ankle biters
myself but surely a wedding is about family and all that?

Fortunately the do is back home so I don't have to go.

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I'm greatly amused by those couples who have lived together for 5,6,7 years and have 1,2 children. Now it's time for her to don a white dress, he a tux and have a full blown religious wedding.
Absolutely stupid and height of hypocrisy.

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And expect gifts too

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I don't think that's stupid necessarily. It's the bride and groom's expectations of guests that bothers me. The posh frock, the hotel, the travelling, the expensive gift, or 'just give us money cos we want a fancy honeymoon and don't give a thought to you having to max out your credit card after all you are getting a disco and a portion of chicken a la king'.

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:rofl: hahaha same as us. As you know we ran off to Vegas! It was a quick "come with us or don't" affair probably sent on FB :rofl:

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Yeah, ours was on a beach in Florida, your welcome to join us if you want type thing, no party, no pressies.

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Mine was a wedding place in Niagara Falls with our respective children, dinner and a night in the Falls with the kids then 2 days later a kick ass party for all our friends and relatives to celebrate with us, complete with the band that played the night we met.. no gifts allowed and come as you are. Buffet and booze supplied by us, dance floor for partying. Fun time at no cost to anyone but ourselves!

:)

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Ours was at Wandsworth Town Hall.

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Managed to do our entire wedding for under $15k for 90+ guests. Put a fair whack of the cash up for it myself but we were fortunate to get some help too.

Never understood people who have mega expensive weddings. Those doing them while using someone elses cheque book need a good kick in the mouth.

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Ours was at St. Helier registry office, handily situated by an OAP centre so we could rustle up a couple of witnesses. A very pleasant day.

I'm with Bats and feel we should get a BE coach party organised to gate crash Oink's cousins nuptials....sounds like a good do!

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Well, to be fair, the Canadian workplace is all about networking; a wedding is an opportunity to advance familiarity with people of influence in one's line of work. That's not going to work well if the wedding doesn't offer the attendees a memorable experience. I can see why the dedicated parent of someone in a industry where visibility is important would put up serious money.

Re: weddings
 

When Souvette and I got married, it was the two of us, the notary and a couple of his secretaries as witnesses.

We got home and then told our mothers what we had done. Went down like a sack of lead shit in a balloon, with some depleted uranium bricks to give it extra ballast.

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i got married in Gretna Green:thumbup:

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Marriage is like emigration because . . .

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.... it's an emotional rollercoaster?

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. . . after the initial attraction its all downhill after awhile?

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...and people tend to do it " for the kids"?

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That is definately not on. My mother got an invite recently with that type of note and was distinctly unimpressed.

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An old co-worker was asked to be a bridesmaid for a close friend of hers - bearing in mind she was earning about $30k per year, living on her own in Calgary she did not have much spare cash. The bride insisted on the designer gowns ($500 a pop I seem to recall), there was the bridal shower and weekend in Banff for the "stagette" then required make-up artist, hotel accommodation at $200 a night and the gift. I don't think she saw much change out of $1,500 if not more. She was so upset, the bride just didn't care. I believe she had the "well if you can't afford it then you don't need to come". If that had been me I would have told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

I also know of a girl whose wedding was upwards of 30k GBP (back in 2005). She was divorced 6 months later. Her mother (who footed the bill) was not impressed...

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JonboyE's Second Law of life states that the length of a happy marriage is in inverse proportion to the amount of money spent on the wedding.

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Really? I thought divorce in the first year of marriage in England and Wales was not permitted:p

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Bridesmaids dresses and suits for best man and ushers etc should definately be paid for by the bride/groom/parents whoevers paying for the wedding.

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Thank you for sending an invite our way,

But we wont be coming to your special day,

Now here's a suggestion from Mrs. Bats.

Buy your own holiday you tight fisted *****.



It needs some work, but you get the idea...

Re: weddings
 

I agree, that's what we did and I never thought to do anything else.