scrubbedexpat091

Is it me or is sending out wedding invitations 6 weeks before the wedding, and then giving guests 3 days to RSVP and then texting saying we need to know if your coming by today, you need to respond so we know a little rude?

The invitation just arrived on Tuesday and they want the RSVP today.

plasticcanuck

Is there any valid reason you cannot go to the wedding?
Do you want to go to the wedding?

Make a decision and provide an answer.

Jerseygirl

Maybe they are having to get married in a hurry.

Stinkypup

I feel that it isn't long to make a decision, I don't think subtlety is your forte is it?- maybe PC it is actually you

Former Lancastrian

You just gotta love todays society and this type of question just shows how detached we have become and expecting results now.
So this couple decided at some stage they are getting married and have sent out the invites 6 weeks before the wedding and expect a reply within 3 days.
Where is the wedding and what sort of travel arrangements if any do I need to make?
Do I have to arrange time off work to attend?
Personally I think its kind of bad etiquette given that most know well in advance of their wedding plans and they let people know well ahead of time if on the invite list.
How well do you know them? Is the wedding something you would really like to attend.
If Im not really good friends with them and not overly concerned about going I would just reply and decline the invitation with thanks.
There again I could contact them and say WTF are you serious.

HGerchikov

It's a fairly simple decision tree, do I want to go? Yes/No if No send response in negative, if Yes move to Can I go (eg work commitment, financial constraints?) Yes/No. If Yes answer in affirmative, if No negative. It shouldn't take 3 days.

Stinkypup

Clearly your life is blissfully simple- I envy you. FL however kind of sums it up well in my opinion.

HGerchikov

You have no idea what my life is like, most definitely not simple. I think it's because I am busy that I don't need (or have) 3 days to decide about an invitation. I just happen to think that to go, or not, to a wedding is a fairly simple decision.

SchnookoLoly

I'm with HG. While I think three days is a bit quick to expect responses, it's not impossible. Either you can make it or you can't. Maybe you need a day if it's an out of town wedding or you need to organize time off work etc but generally it should be pretty easy to decide if you can go or not. But maybe that's just me.

Stinkypup

[QUOTE=HGerchikov;11713522]You have no idea what my life is like, most definitely not simple. I think it's because I am busy that I don't need (or have) 3 days to decide about an invitation.I just happen to think that to go, or not, to a wedding is a fairly simple decision.[/QUOTE

Your opinion is as valid as the next person- clearly opinions differ, I as well seemingly as FL were responding with a different opinion to you and PC that it wasn't as simple as you both suggest. We will need to agree to disagree I feel.

HGerchikov

[QUOTE=Stinkypup;11713526] I am happy to do that

scrubbedexpat091

It's not local, takes planning and frankly people need more time to plan, price and make a decision when they have to travel outside of the region to attend.

I just find it extremely rude to provide such short notice and then on top pester for an RSVP 3 days after the invitation was received in the mail.

Doubly annoying when these same people did not RSVP for our wedding.



The wedding is on a small island off the coast of Vancouver Island, require 2 ferry rides which isn't all that cheap, kind of in an isolated location.

Takes about 6-7 hours in total from Squamish including the ferry time. And the ferries are not exactly cheap when you have a car which you have to take as there is no other way there but to drive, or fly into Campbell River, but flying is uber pricey for such a short flight.

Yes, my wife has to also get the weekend off and because this weekend is a holiday weekend in BC, her boss has not been in this week (she takes the week off leading up to any holiday weekend) so while we did RSVP we don't actually know if we can go yet...

If it were down the street really not much an issue, but there is some significant travel involved time wise.


I suppose if you have the money laying around and ability to just take time off work those may not see it as big of an issue as me, not like she can just take time off work, has to be approved, and the boss isn't even there this week to ask.


It's her brother, not a distant friend. Last she had talked to him about a month ago, it was still going to be in January, and then poof the invitation appears this week out of the blue for a wedding 6 weeks away.

We did say yes, but we have no clue if we can actually go, not sure we can get the time off and not sure if we can come up with the necessary funds. No possible way for us to know if we can actually go with just 3 days, takes a couple weeks to plan and confirm the time off work.

BEVS

I am not sure if it is rude as such. It is a little thoughtless of others.

They are probably really wrapped up in their plans and haven't stopped to consider that for some there needs to be negotiation, arrangements and planning.

Better to give folk more time to RSVP so they can actually say a yes , rather than maybe having to rescind later on.

sharkus

Six weeks, to me, seems a very short timeframe for sending out invites, getting replies back in and organizing things. However, with that condensed timeframe, I can see how a 3 day turnaround on responding makes some sense.
The text aspect is interesting, to me, a little crass, I would have phoned or emailed, but hey, this is the modern age.

Sometimes making the decision isn't always a quick process. For example, let's say you get home on a friday evening and find the invite. Checking to see if you already have plans is simple enough. However, if travel and accommodation is required you'd need to get that booked, plus quite possibly arrange time off from work. The latter, depending on where you work, let us assume a normal office job, likely could not be done until Monday, and even then, depending on how (in)efficient your place is, it could take a day or two for a response.

BristolUK

Perhaps the numbers attending affect what venue is involved and they have to secure the venue this far in advance to guarantee it.

Wait a week and then discover the venue for the number of "yes" replies is already booked. Or book the larger venue and then discover the "yes" replies could have been accommodated in a smaller venue.

If it's a small island, this might be more crucial than usual.