Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
Aug 28th 2009, 3:54 am
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 821
Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
Well as most of you know i had to do a quick visit back to the uk.........
My dear mum is really unwell and the outcome is not good
I spent weeks thinking do i dont i return and in the end i booked the flights and went for it. I found out that some people that i had known for years was taking my mum for a ride, that people that we had grown up with was wiping her out in all ways and these people i thought we could trust.
I suppose since i moved here we have been lucky to meet some real amazing people who have opened there lifes and there hearts to us, i have settled into life the canadian way and become very trusting and probably put the blinkers on
WOW what a eye opener i had, i travelled the country helping my mum move in with family, to make sure she was settled and to make sure she has everything, we got time to talk and discuss the future and most of all spend some good laughs, we are not daft we know that we havent got long left togeather and we thank every day that we are able to talk to each other, but she also advised me that i had made the right move for my kids, which actually means the world to me.
It also made me re-look at the uk, i really hate my home town, but i have also seen some parts of the uk that are so lovely, met some people that are true and really helpful and they showed me not everyone is like my home town lot
i was shocked to see how my home town had changed in just under a year, my daughter was so happy to get out of there and said that she wanted to get home (meaning here)...........
My family also made me drive in the uk, that was a shock to my system, wow there is so many cars, how did i ever manage, but believe me i got my own back by driving on the wrongside twice and then allowing people to cross the road, even though they wasnt on the right crossing i was told.......lol
When we started our journey we talked about what if and what that, but i dont think anything would get you ready for the last month that our family has gone through, its not over yet, but we get on with life, i wouldnt move back to the uk unless we had to and i know that for us we made the right move, i know i cant wave a magic wand and make my mum better, but we all decided that we get on with life and dont think about it, if we do it will spoil the memorys that we have.
Getting on that plane was the hardest point for me and my daughter, we both wanted to stay there, but we have a life here and my OH and kids was waiting for me, without the networking we have done i think it would of been harder on my OH and now have such an extended family here as well.
Now i speak to my mum everyday, we are closer now than we have been in months and i am glad she told me how proud she was of me and the kids, i am glad i made the trip back, not just to see my mum, but put some ghosts to rest, uk is a lovely place really, i just think that for my family we are better here for now anyway
LB
My dear mum is really unwell and the outcome is not good
I spent weeks thinking do i dont i return and in the end i booked the flights and went for it. I found out that some people that i had known for years was taking my mum for a ride, that people that we had grown up with was wiping her out in all ways and these people i thought we could trust.
I suppose since i moved here we have been lucky to meet some real amazing people who have opened there lifes and there hearts to us, i have settled into life the canadian way and become very trusting and probably put the blinkers on
WOW what a eye opener i had, i travelled the country helping my mum move in with family, to make sure she was settled and to make sure she has everything, we got time to talk and discuss the future and most of all spend some good laughs, we are not daft we know that we havent got long left togeather and we thank every day that we are able to talk to each other, but she also advised me that i had made the right move for my kids, which actually means the world to me.
It also made me re-look at the uk, i really hate my home town, but i have also seen some parts of the uk that are so lovely, met some people that are true and really helpful and they showed me not everyone is like my home town lot
i was shocked to see how my home town had changed in just under a year, my daughter was so happy to get out of there and said that she wanted to get home (meaning here)...........
My family also made me drive in the uk, that was a shock to my system, wow there is so many cars, how did i ever manage, but believe me i got my own back by driving on the wrongside twice and then allowing people to cross the road, even though they wasnt on the right crossing i was told.......lol
When we started our journey we talked about what if and what that, but i dont think anything would get you ready for the last month that our family has gone through, its not over yet, but we get on with life, i wouldnt move back to the uk unless we had to and i know that for us we made the right move, i know i cant wave a magic wand and make my mum better, but we all decided that we get on with life and dont think about it, if we do it will spoil the memorys that we have.
Getting on that plane was the hardest point for me and my daughter, we both wanted to stay there, but we have a life here and my OH and kids was waiting for me, without the networking we have done i think it would of been harder on my OH and now have such an extended family here as well.
Now i speak to my mum everyday, we are closer now than we have been in months and i am glad she told me how proud she was of me and the kids, i am glad i made the trip back, not just to see my mum, but put some ghosts to rest, uk is a lovely place really, i just think that for my family we are better here for now anyway
LB
Aug 28th 2009, 4:00 am
#2
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 6,842
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
It sounds like you needed that trip back in more ways than one 
Aug 28th 2009, 4:00 am
#3
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,028
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
What a lovely heartfelt post...I'm glad you decided to go back and see your mum.
My father died suddenly earlier this year...my 89 yr old mum fell and broke her hip 2 days later. She was in a nursing home when I left to come back and she looked so frail and lost. Leaving her was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I went back a month later and she was doing much better...she is now back in her own home.
My father died suddenly earlier this year...my 89 yr old mum fell and broke her hip 2 days later. She was in a nursing home when I left to come back and she looked so frail and lost. Leaving her was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I went back a month later and she was doing much better...she is now back in her own home.
Aug 28th 2009, 12:31 pm
#4
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 821
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
It kind of sorted a few things out that was bugging me here, people on the phone can be so false
ouch, i know what you mean by time, i speak to my mum via msn and within a week of getting top care with family she looks and acts like my old mum did a few months ago, i have peace knowing she is being looked after by family and not friends who want to take her for a ride, thankfully she has seen it as well, but to see her smile and laugh again is enough for me.....
If someone had told me this before i moved, would i still of done it...i dont know
i believe we can only discuss things, but when it happens wow does it hurt
What a lovely heartfelt post...I'm glad you decided to go back and see your mum.
My father died suddenly earlier this year...my 89 yr old mum fell and broke her hip 2 days later. She was in a nursing home when I left to come back and she looked so frail and lost. Leaving her was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I went back a month later and she was doing much better...she is now back in her own home.
My father died suddenly earlier this year...my 89 yr old mum fell and broke her hip 2 days later. She was in a nursing home when I left to come back and she looked so frail and lost. Leaving her was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I went back a month later and she was doing much better...she is now back in her own home.
If someone had told me this before i moved, would i still of done it...i dont know
i believe we can only discuss things, but when it happens wow does it hurt
Aug 28th 2009, 1:03 pm
#5
Scottish Canuck
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Auld Scotia > Nova Scotia > Calgary
Posts: 3,703
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
What a lovely post and an enlightenng trip for you both. Your mum is such a star for letting you know just how much she knows you have done the right thing for you and your family. It must be a huge relief to you to know this because we immigants do carry some guilt on our shoulders for choosing to broaden our horizons and move away.
Now you definitely know that your mum is now being looked after properly by the people who really do care for her and she is very happy
I am glad you are able to return home to Canada, knowing in your heart you absolutely did the right thing
Now you definitely know that your mum is now being looked after properly by the people who really do care for her and she is very happy
I am glad you are able to return home to Canada, knowing in your heart you absolutely did the right thing
Aug 28th 2009, 1:12 pm
#6
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,028
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
It kind of sorted a few things out that was bugging me here, people on the phone can be so false
ouch, i know what you mean by time, i speak to my mum via msn and within a week of getting top care with family she looks and acts like my old mum did a few months ago, i have peace knowing she is being looked after by family and not friends who want to take her for a ride, thankfully she has seen it as well, but to see her smile and laugh again is enough for me.....
If someone had told me this before i moved, would i still of done it...i dont know
i believe we can only discuss things, but when it happens wow does it hurt
ouch, i know what you mean by time, i speak to my mum via msn and within a week of getting top care with family she looks and acts like my old mum did a few months ago, i have peace knowing she is being looked after by family and not friends who want to take her for a ride, thankfully she has seen it as well, but to see her smile and laugh again is enough for me.....
If someone had told me this before i moved, would i still of done it...i dont know
i believe we can only discuss things, but when it happens wow does it hurt
At least you know whatever happens in the future...your mum was at peace with your move to Canada. She knew you did the best you could for yourself and her grandchildren...at the end of the day that's what a good parent wants.
Aug 28th 2009, 2:28 pm
#7
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,159
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
Big hugs for you and your mum
It must have been so nice to have your mums blessing on your move - it will help you through the difficult times ahead.
I am going home in October, I cant wait, I hope my trip home has a similar effect on me, as yours did on you, but some how I doubt it. I have been here 3 months and am now convinced it was the worst thing I could ever have done.
It must have been so nice to have your mums blessing on your move - it will help you through the difficult times ahead.
I am going home in October, I cant wait, I hope my trip home has a similar effect on me, as yours did on you, but some how I doubt it. I have been here 3 months and am now convinced it was the worst thing I could ever have done.
Aug 28th 2009, 4:13 pm
#8
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 821
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
Big hugs for you and your mum
It must have been so nice to have your mums blessing on your move - it will help you through the difficult times ahead.
I am going home in October, I cant wait, I hope my trip home has a similar effect on me, as yours did on you, but some how I doubt it. I have been here 3 months and am now convinced it was the worst thing I could ever have done.
It must have been so nice to have your mums blessing on your move - it will help you through the difficult times ahead.
I am going home in October, I cant wait, I hope my trip home has a similar effect on me, as yours did on you, but some how I doubt it. I have been here 3 months and am now convinced it was the worst thing I could ever have done.
My mum did everything possable to stop us from coming here, believe me what i found out she did would rock anyones world, but neally ayr later she has seen the kids, how well they are doing and how happy we are as a family, i think deep down she would still like us to be there, but she said it because she knows i love my new life
Jerseygirl, i know where you are coming from as i love my kids to bits, but i also know that if they decided to do what we have done i would give them my blessing no matter how much it hurts, i think the world is such a small place now adays
One thing i do believe in is Karma..........one day the evil people who surrounded my mum will get payback, for now i am not allowing them to spoil what little time we have togeather
Aug 28th 2009, 4:44 pm
#9
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 3,363
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
Aug 28th 2009, 5:09 pm
#10
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 806
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
welcome home.
Aug 29th 2009, 6:41 pm
#11
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,054
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
Well as most of you know i had to do a quick visit back to the uk.........
My dear mum is really unwell and the outcome is not good
I spent weeks thinking do i dont i return and in the end i booked the flights and went for it. I found out that some people that i had known for years was taking my mum for a ride, that people that we had grown up with was wiping her out in all ways and these people i thought we could trust.
I suppose since i moved here we have been lucky to meet some real amazing people who have opened there lifes and there hearts to us, i have settled into life the canadian way and become very trusting and probably put the blinkers on
WOW what a eye opener i had, i travelled the country helping my mum move in with family, to make sure she was settled and to make sure she has everything, we got time to talk and discuss the future and most of all spend some good laughs, we are not daft we know that we havent got long left togeather and we thank every day that we are able to talk to each other, but she also advised me that i had made the right move for my kids, which actually means the world to me.
It also made me re-look at the uk, i really hate my home town, but i have also seen some parts of the uk that are so lovely, met some people that are true and really helpful and they showed me not everyone is like my home town lot
i was shocked to see how my home town had changed in just under a year, my daughter was so happy to get out of there and said that she wanted to get home (meaning here)...........
My family also made me drive in the uk, that was a shock to my system, wow there is so many cars, how did i ever manage, but believe me i got my own back by driving on the wrongside twice and then allowing people to cross the road, even though they wasnt on the right crossing i was told.......lol
When we started our journey we talked about what if and what that, but i dont think anything would get you ready for the last month that our family has gone through, its not over yet, but we get on with life, i wouldnt move back to the uk unless we had to and i know that for us we made the right move, i know i cant wave a magic wand and make my mum better, but we all decided that we get on with life and dont think about it, if we do it will spoil the memorys that we have.
Getting on that plane was the hardest point for me and my daughter, we both wanted to stay there, but we have a life here and my OH and kids was waiting for me, without the networking we have done i think it would of been harder on my OH and now have such an extended family here as well.
Now i speak to my mum everyday, we are closer now than we have been in months and i am glad she told me how proud she was of me and the kids, i am glad i made the trip back, not just to see my mum, but put some ghosts to rest, uk is a lovely place really, i just think that for my family we are better here for now anyway
LB
My dear mum is really unwell and the outcome is not good
I spent weeks thinking do i dont i return and in the end i booked the flights and went for it. I found out that some people that i had known for years was taking my mum for a ride, that people that we had grown up with was wiping her out in all ways and these people i thought we could trust.
I suppose since i moved here we have been lucky to meet some real amazing people who have opened there lifes and there hearts to us, i have settled into life the canadian way and become very trusting and probably put the blinkers on
WOW what a eye opener i had, i travelled the country helping my mum move in with family, to make sure she was settled and to make sure she has everything, we got time to talk and discuss the future and most of all spend some good laughs, we are not daft we know that we havent got long left togeather and we thank every day that we are able to talk to each other, but she also advised me that i had made the right move for my kids, which actually means the world to me.
It also made me re-look at the uk, i really hate my home town, but i have also seen some parts of the uk that are so lovely, met some people that are true and really helpful and they showed me not everyone is like my home town lot
i was shocked to see how my home town had changed in just under a year, my daughter was so happy to get out of there and said that she wanted to get home (meaning here)...........
My family also made me drive in the uk, that was a shock to my system, wow there is so many cars, how did i ever manage, but believe me i got my own back by driving on the wrongside twice and then allowing people to cross the road, even though they wasnt on the right crossing i was told.......lol
When we started our journey we talked about what if and what that, but i dont think anything would get you ready for the last month that our family has gone through, its not over yet, but we get on with life, i wouldnt move back to the uk unless we had to and i know that for us we made the right move, i know i cant wave a magic wand and make my mum better, but we all decided that we get on with life and dont think about it, if we do it will spoil the memorys that we have.
Getting on that plane was the hardest point for me and my daughter, we both wanted to stay there, but we have a life here and my OH and kids was waiting for me, without the networking we have done i think it would of been harder on my OH and now have such an extended family here as well.
Now i speak to my mum everyday, we are closer now than we have been in months and i am glad she told me how proud she was of me and the kids, i am glad i made the trip back, not just to see my mum, but put some ghosts to rest, uk is a lovely place really, i just think that for my family we are better here for now anyway
LB
Aug 30th 2009, 11:49 am
#14
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 821
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
about 30mins from there............
Not putting on open forum, as its a small place, i did however spend the night in manchester with close friends before i flew out, was shocked to see how things had changed, got bigger, but then its been a good 2yrs since i had seen them. I think my daughter thought life would stand still when she left......
(thats kids for you eh!!!)
Not putting on open forum, as its a small place, i did however spend the night in manchester with close friends before i flew out, was shocked to see how things had changed, got bigger, but then its been a good 2yrs since i had seen them. I think my daughter thought life would stand still when she left......
(thats kids for you eh!!!)
Aug 31st 2009, 6:00 am
#15
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,457
Re: Trip back to the uk......but thankfully i home now ........
welcome home.
Glad to hear that you have settled your mum with people who you can trust to look after her and it's a huge thing to hear from her that she feels you are doing the right thing. My dad often said that to me and it really helps to have their blessing.
best wishes to you and your family ( both sides of the water)
Terese
Glad to hear that you have settled your mum with people who you can trust to look after her and it's a huge thing to hear from her that she feels you are doing the right thing. My dad often said that to me and it really helps to have their blessing.
best wishes to you and your family ( both sides of the water)
Terese