Siouxie

Can't stand that word either - that makes me shudder almost as much as when my Dad used to say to me 'why can't you put a nice frock on?'

< shudder >


oh... and 'bangs' for a fringe.

< more shuddering >

BristolUK

In my old job back in the 70s/80s we had file covers/case jackets that were ordinary or gusseted for when they were rather full. Just ordering them on the stationery list....

Oink

I'm surprised 'fusty' and 'fetid' didn't make the list.

Stinkypup

I probably think that fusty might apply to boy underwear neglect- wearing them for a few days, then leaving them in the laundry basket for a week then putting them back on as there are none in the drawer.
Hell... If gals ever got to the fetid stage they should be ashamed of themselves and would certainly have very few friends!!

Oink

I was thinking more along the lines of stories my nan told me.

Tinpusher63

As per request from a certain "pup" who shall remain anonymous.


Lexophile

Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location.

This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.


... When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

... The batteries were given out free of charge.

... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

... A will is a dead giveaway.

... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

... A boiled egg is hard to beat.

... When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

... Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

... Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

... A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the cream of the twisted crop:

... Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

Stinkypup

Weirdly I thought of your nan when you mentioned but felt that it wasn't my place to discuss her without personal knowledge- you have however confirmed my suspicions

Stinkypup

[QUOTE=Tinpusher63;11800361]As per request from a certain "pup" who shall remain anonymous.

Thanks for dragging this thread out of the gutter Steve, nice one, it was doing my reputation ( which incidentally was never very good!) no good whatsoever!

Siouxie

@Tinpusher63 - I didn't know there was a proper name for it!

Great find!



Here's some more:

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large

The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis

Stinkypup

I know that this is a " canine drift" yet again but I suppose that is inevitable- but..... Dogs and beer... What a combination...

Just don't give them Guinness- Siouxie knows exactly why!

Midlife guide to... beer for dogs

I've just noticed ... No alcohol??!!