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someone hit Kai today
To cut a long story short, was in the park today, Kai gave a girl an aggressive hug and the woman broke it up and slapped Kai on the face.
I remembered that there was some police nearby as there was a problem with the traffic, so they came back with me and I didn't see it but the woman was running away with the pushchair from the park. Caught up with her, asked what I wanted to, leave it but she has a record or it could go to court. Couldn't go through with a court case so left it. She obviously denied it said she couldn't speak English which was a lie...and then was gesturing that it was ok to hit later on to the police and politely told her to shut up. The police said that they knew she was guilty with the way she ran off and the way she acted. A bit shaken up to be honest about it all. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
You probably did the right thing, my wife would have knocked her head off......not the right thing. Although if you had no witnesses then your right, she probably would have denied it.
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Re: someone hit Kai today
That's awful is your little man okay? There really are some crazy people around.:ohmy:
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Re: someone hit Kai today
Thanks, Kai is fine. He is VERY tough luckily. Still just very annoyed, phoned up my husband and he thinks I should have pressed charges and now is speaking to a lawyer at work.
Just wish it never happened to be honest, couldn't believe that someone could that to a child:( |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Sorry should have asked if the little fella was ok. Were there any witnesses?
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Re: someone hit Kai today
the way the police said it was that I was a witness and Kai was a victim. As the weather is cold here, the parks are very empty so one one else. If the police wasn't there I wouldn't have been able to do anything as my the battery in my phone was dead. Just don't know what to do for the best.
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Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by babsi
(Post 7294830)
Just don't know what to do for the best.
It will be your word against her's and you will be cross examined heavily about the incident. I am sure she will say that she was protecting her child from Kai's "aggressive hug" (to use your own words) and that, as she broke them up, she may have inadvertantly struck Kai. It may be rubbish but that is how she will present it and her's is a story that doesn't sound too incredible. I doubt very much that this will be a jury trial and so you are likely to have a sole judge sitting. Unless you come across as a total upstanding member of the community and she comes across as a lying, child beater, I cannot see a conviction here. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by babsi
(Post 7294673)
To cut a long story short, was in the park today, Kai gave a girl an aggressive hug and the woman broke it up and slapped Kai on the face.
I remembered that there was some police nearby as there was a problem with the traffic, so they came back with me and I didn't see it but the woman was running away with the pushchair from the park. Caught up with her, asked what I wanted to, leave it but she has a record or it could go to court. Couldn't go through with a court case so left it. She obviously denied it said she couldn't speak English which was a lie...and then was gesturing that it was ok to hit later on to the police and politely told her to shut up. The police said that they knew she was guilty with the way she ran off and the way she acted. A bit shaken up to be honest about it all. What an awful thing to happen.....he's not much more than a toddler is he...I was trying to look through....but I seem to remember him being 3 or 4? I cannot believe a grown woman would hit a child like that. If he was being rough.....why the hell didn't she just remove her child. When my son was little, he always played rough (still does!) he also had very little speech so got into the habbit of growling at the other kids...they would laugh and run....he would chase. This was how he communicated. The kids had no problem with this and he never hurt them, but some parent's would freak out! I lost count of how many told me he should be on Ritalin.:mad: It will be harder for you, kids just shrug things off thankfully. I don't think I could have been as sensible as you....I'm sure I would have swung for her! I don't blame you for seeking legal advice, but would be cautious about paying out a fortune, for something that Kai has taken in his stride.:wub: Good luck Linda |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by Almost Canadian
(Post 7294974)
Put it down to experience and move on.
It will be your word against her's and you will be cross examined heavily about the incident. I am sure she will say that she was protecting her child from Kai's "aggressive hug" (to use your own words) and that, as she broke them up, she may have inadvertantly struck Kai. It may be rubbish but that is how she will present it and her's is a story that doesn't sound too incredible. I doubt very much that this will be a jury trial and so you are likely to have a sole judge sitting. Unless you come across as a total upstanding member of the community and she comes across as a lying, child beater, I cannot see a conviction here. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
I totally try my best with Kai, I am not a perfect mother but I see something underlying in some people's posts that it is my fault. Maybe I am too emotional to reply to this but it isn't easy and he has been getting better and he was supervised and he always is and he is told always to keep his hands to himself but he can't help himself, he is punished eg.time-outs, things taken away or things not happening if he doesn't behave. He only turned 3 last month, and is not some kind of devil child and he has been seen by a psychologist who says there is nothing wrong with him
So in the space of a week he was shouted at by a woman because he took a toy of his son and now he has been slapped across the face and all afternoon since coming back he has been very withdrawn, wanting to be on his own and not playing, great for his self-confidence. If there had been another witness then I would be going to court as there isn't we won't be. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by babsi
(Post 7295272)
I totally try my best with Kai, I am not a perfect mother but I see something underlying in some people's posts that it is my fault. Maybe I am too emotional to reply to this but it isn't easy and he has been getting better and he was supervised and he always is and he is told always to keep his hands to himself but he can't help himself, he is punished eg.time-outs, things taken away or things not happening if he doesn't behave. He only turned 3 last month, and is not some kind of devil child and he has been seen by a psychologist who says there is nothing wrong with him
So in the space of a week he was shouted at by a woman because he took a toy of his son and now he has been slapped across the face and all afternoon since coming back he has been very withdrawn, wanting to be on his own and not playing, great for his self-confidence. If there had been another witness then I would be going to court as there isn't we won't be. I was just trying to explain to you what is likely to happen if you went to Court. As you know, there are always two sides to every story (imagine what this other woman will be saying about Kai) and that you will need to prepare yourself for what will happen in Court. If you took offence at what I said, then don't even contemplate being a witness in this matter, cross examination will be rather more severe than what I said above, as defence counsel is likely to want to try and paint a picture that Kai was so out of control and such a danger to the other child that the woman had no option other than to try and break the scuffle up, during which, Kai was "accidently" touched. Whether that represents what actually happened is, to a large extent, irrelevant. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
I dont think it is right that another person hit your child, and I dont know enough about you or your child to coment on your parenting, so dont take this the wrong way.
I do know a bit about lawyers and courts. The other mothers lawyer could easily spin what you said in your post above to:- In the space a few days your child stole a toy, and then attacked another child and had to be forcibly removed from that child, and that this was obviously a problem you knew about, as you were so concerned about your child behaviour that you had allready consulted with a psychologist about it. These things are best not discussed on a board like this, especially when there is enough information scattered among your posts to reasonably identify you. Lawyers turn to google very quickly these days, and these posts will stay available for years. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by Almost Canadian
(Post 7294974)
Put it down to experience and move on.
It will be your word against her's and you will be cross examined heavily about the incident. I am sure she will say that she was protecting her child from Kai's "aggressive hug" (to use your own words) and that, as she broke them up, she may have inadvertantly struck Kai. It may be rubbish but that is how she will present it and her's is a story that doesn't sound too incredible. I doubt very much that this will be a jury trial and so you are likely to have a sole judge sitting. Unless you come across as a total upstanding member of the community and she comes across as a lying, child beater, I cannot see a conviction here. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
No matter what your child did, no one other than you is entitled to hit him and even you, on the bum only probably. The woman who did so has some serious anger management problems herself. It isn't for us here to pass judgment on your parenting style/skills. Suffice to say it is probably best that you put the incident behind you and move on.
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Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by Mistress Miggins
(Post 7295461)
I hate agreeing with lawyers, but what he said :)
I am no lawyer (not yet anyway) so you can feel better about yourself:p:rofl: |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by babsi
(Post 7295272)
I totally try my best with Kai, I am not a perfect mother but I see something underlying in some people's posts that it is my fault. Maybe I am too emotional to reply to this but it isn't easy and he has been getting better and he was supervised and he always is and he is told always to keep his hands to himself but he can't help himself, he is punished eg.time-outs, things taken away or things not happening if he doesn't behave. He only turned 3 last month, and is not some kind of devil child and he has been seen by a psychologist who says there is nothing wrong with him
So in the space of a week he was shouted at by a woman because he took a toy of his son and now he has been slapped across the face and all afternoon since coming back he has been very withdrawn, wanting to be on his own and not playing, great for his self-confidence. If there had been another witness then I would be going to court as there isn't we won't be. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by Almost Canadian
(Post 7295665)
I am no lawyer (not yet anyway) so you can feel better about yourself:p:rofl:
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Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by babsi
(Post 7295272)
I totally try my best with Kai, I am not a perfect mother but I see something underlying in some people's posts that it is my fault. Maybe I am too emotional to reply to this but it isn't easy and he has been getting better and he was supervised and he always is and he is told always to keep his hands to himself but he can't help himself, he is punished eg.time-outs, things taken away or things not happening if he doesn't behave. He only turned 3 last month, and is not some kind of devil child and he has been seen by a psychologist who says there is nothing wrong with him
So in the space of a week he was shouted at by a woman because he took a toy of his son and now he has been slapped across the face and all afternoon since coming back he has been very withdrawn, wanting to be on his own and not playing, great for his self-confidence. If there had been another witness then I would be going to court as there isn't we won't be. Even if Kai had hurt the other child....that does not give the parent the right to hit him. Stop beating yourself up, some children are boisterious, it's not anything we do, it's just them, I really do know where your coming from. He needs to keep socialising with the other children, so please don't hide away (been, there, done that....it doesn't help). Linda |
Re: someone hit Kai today
oh no the poor little thing ,
no one has the right to hit anyone else kid , you should have slapped her then you might have felt better :rofl: i know that sounds a bit rough but i really would go beserk if an adult hit my kids (can cope with other kids doing it , coz all kids will fight) and as other poster aid , dont hide him away and not dare let him play , coz it will only make things worse !! my son was boisterous and i was scared to take him anywhere in case he did anything wrong (i call it 1st child syndrome ,coz once you have 2 you dont stress over what people think as much lol ) but he grew out of it, hope you feel better soon x |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Take him out to a zoo or somwhere that will distract him today and enjoy each others company,
From what you have said and in your other posts your a very good mother for caring so much, That was so horrible for you and Kai, i don't agree with smacking even your own let alone someone elses child, Once someone held my child while there son hit and kicked mine he was 8 at the time and i was very pregnant with my daughter, i flew at her like someone possesed ( blame it on the hormones ) Frightened the life out of me afterwards :o never actually hit her just pushed her off him :wub: You did the right thing with the police, at least you know what she looks like now and can watch out for her, make sure you have your mobile handy in future. Hope you can move on Babs so Kai can :D |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by Linda P
(Post 7295900)
Even if Kai had hurt the other child....that does not give the parent the right to hit him.
Stop beating yourself up, some children are boisterious, it's not anything we do, it's just them, I really do know where your coming from. He needs to keep socialising with the other children, so please don't hide away (been, there, done that....it doesn't help). Linda I know where you are coming from too. It doesn't help when people assume you can just 'teach' them not to hug too hard, etc. :curse: hahahaah! Um, if ONLY it was that easy. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
I personally would have decked her, :blink: so hats off to you for keeping your cool.
Of course when kids get together there are going to be issues which come up now and then, so here are a few golden rules which we need to keep in mind..... If I like it, it's mine. If it's in my mouth, it's mine. If I can take it from you, it's mine. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. If I saw it first, it's mine. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. If I am playing with something and I put it down, it's still mine If it's broken, it's yours. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by Auld Yin
(Post 7295558)
No matter what your child did, no one other than you is entitled to hit him and even you, on the bum only probably. The woman who did so has some serious anger management problems herself. It isn't for us here to pass judgment on your parenting style/skills. Suffice to say it is probably best that you put the incident behind you and move on.
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Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by raine66
(Post 7311189)
Of course when kids get together there are going to be issues which come up now and then, so here are a few golden rules which we need to keep in mind.....
If I like it, it's mine. If it's in my mouth, it's mine. If I can take it from you, it's mine. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. If I saw it first, it's mine. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. If I am playing with something and I put it down, it's still mine If it's broken, it's yours. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by raine66
(Post 7311189)
I personally would have decked her, :blink: so hats off to you for keeping your cool.
Of course when kids get together there are going to be issues which come up now and then, so here are a few golden rules which we need to keep in mind..... If I like it, it's mine. If it's in my mouth, it's mine. If I can take it from you, it's mine. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. If I saw it first, it's mine. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. If I am playing with something and I put it down, it's still mine If it's broken, it's yours. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Generally the only people who benefit when Lawyers are involved are the Lawyers.
Life is full of challenges and experiences and sometimes we have to take them on the chin and move on. I am not advocating weakness and constant turning of the cheek. But in this case I would advise you not to take it further and to move on. Kai will have learnt a little about hugging hard, and he will soon forget the actual smack. |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by Almost Canadian
(Post 7313671)
I don't know about kids, that appears to be the list most women use:rofl::p
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Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by Dave+Jules
(Post 7314994)
Hmmm the mind boggles, especially the "if it's in my mouth it's mine":rofl:
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Re: someone hit Kai today
Just an update, me and Kai are fine. Kai seemed to forget about it the next day.
The park is near his pre-school and we went yesterday at exactly the same time as the incident last week, didn't have a choice, Kai was going and that was it. No one was there. Kai is great in pre-school and since that incident he has been fine around other kids. I don't know if it affected him in a good way??!?! |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by babsi
(Post 7321984)
Just an update, me and Kai are fine. Kai seemed to forget about it the next day.
The park is near his pre-school and we went yesterday at exactly the same time as the incident last week, didn't have a choice, Kai was going and that was it. No one was there. Kai is great in pre-school and since that incident he has been fine around other kids. I don't know if it affected him in a good way??!?! |
Re: someone hit Kai today
Originally Posted by babsi
(Post 7321984)
Just an update, me and Kai are fine. Kai seemed to forget about it the next day.
The park is near his pre-school and we went yesterday at exactly the same time as the incident last week, didn't have a choice, Kai was going and that was it. No one was there. Kai is great in pre-school and since that incident he has been fine around other kids. I don't know if it affected him in a good way??!?! I would be utterly devastated and furious if someone came up to hit my child, despite what he did to another child - there are times I don't even SCOLD a stranger's child at parks/playcentres etc, due to the possible repercussions from their parents in our "blame everyone/sue everyone" society. Never mind the ones who could use a good smack (and I'm anti-smacking LOL). But can I just jump in here to say, as someone who works with children (and their parents are more an issue believe me!), that you did the right thing at the time, such as trying to find a police officer - but other than monitoring the park situation to see if that woman reappears, I personally wouldn't take it further - and your son has probably already forgotten the incident and moved on, so I would leave it alone for his sake actually. But privately, call that woman a lot of horrible names, if it makes you feel good LOL. |
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