So sad

Old Jul 9th 2011, 10:25 pm
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by Oink View Post
We all make sacrifices to live in another country. One of the big ones is, because the distances and expense, knowing that we'll probably only see our mums and dads four or five times before they die. It could be worse, we could have chosen to live in Australia or New Zealand and then realistically it'd be only two or three times.
For the most part I agree with the above for some the visits by family can be even less.

I've lived in Canada for 48 years my sister visited once and other family members (aunts, cousins and a nephew) twice that 's it.

Some times convincing family who've never flown in their lives to come to Canada for a visit is an impossible task. Especially the older folk.
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 1:40 am
  #17  
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Default Re: So sad

Convincing those back in the UK that Canada does actually have warm weather plays a factor too. My family were amazed at how warm it was while they were here and had to go and buy shorts as all they had brought were jeans
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 1:59 am
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by Piff Poff View Post
Convincing those back in the UK that Canada does actually have warm weather plays a factor too.
That works both ways. I've come across people who think it's always foggy over there.
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 5:05 am
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by Piff Poff View Post
Convincing those back in the UK that Canada does actually have warm weather plays a factor too. My family were amazed at how warm it was while they were here and had to go and buy shorts as all they had brought were jeans
I hear ya! Father in law finally came over after four years. The first three days it rained on and off, and I was secretly thinking "oh shit" but we did tell him not to come in June! and he was muttering on. Then Alberta did it's thing and woah "oh, it didn't realise it was so warm here - this is lovely"
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 4:10 pm
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by thedignans View Post
My mum was over from Scotland for a visit like she has been for the last 4 years. We all look forward to this all year. The bad thing is when she goes home it really breaks my heart. I hate having to say that "goodbye" all over again. The kids really enjoy having her around and don't quite understand why we can't go visit her or she can't stay longer with us.

Anyway we have a good life here and our lives are so blessed in all other aspects but I just miss my mum. I figure you all would know how I was feeling and just needed to speak.

Sorry for boring anyone.

Julie
I know how you feel. My grown up children and grandchildren are all in the UK. I miss them so much, I love it when they come over, but the goodbyes kill me for weeks. I tend to go over there more as the parting seems easier some how, not sure why.

Look forward to their next visit and make the most of it. My Mum went to live in heaven with my Dad last year, I would have given anything for them to have come here, just once.

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Old Jul 10th 2011, 6:17 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by ann m View Post
I hear ya! Father in law finally came over after four years. The first three days it rained on and off, and I was secretly thinking "oh shit" but we did tell him not to come in June! and he was muttering on. Then Alberta did it's thing and woah "oh, it didn't realise it was so warm here - this is lovely"
Almost echoes what my lot said. I told them not to come in June too... Fairly pleased this lot of gloomy weather waited until they went
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Old Jul 10th 2011, 6:35 pm
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by Miss Clinique View Post
I know how you feel. My grown up children and grandchildren are all in the UK. I miss them so much, I love it when they come over, but the goodbyes kill me for weeks. I tend to go over there more as the parting seems easier some how, not sure why.

Look forward to their next visit and make the most of it. My Mum went to live in heaven with my Dad last year, I would have given anything for them to have come here, just once.

the last part of your post tugged at my heart strings, all i can say is your mum and dad are with your all the time and probably loving it!
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Old Jul 12th 2011, 9:38 pm
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by thedignans View Post
Thank you for repling,

The kids can't visit her as they are only 3 and 6. My mum can't stay longer as she is a very independant woman and likes her own things around her. My mum also cared for my dad as he was sickly for along time so her time was so scheduled that I don't want to put that pressure on her to be somewhere for a set amount of time.
I think you misunderstand what I am saying anyway, i am just saying I miss my mum. Thats all, I just miss my mum and I am sure that all who have left loved ones back in the Uk know how I feel. Like I said at the beginning, I have a wondrful life here in Nova Scotia and we knew there were sacrifices we would have to make in moving countries but I am just saying you don't get used to saying goodbye. No matter how happy, content and assured that you have made the right decision you feel.

Thanks
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I dont get this, mum cant stay because she is independant ??? she likes her own things around her, but not her daughter or grand kids ??? Is dad still alive that she has to hurry back to UK ?? Sorry just dont get this.
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Old Jul 12th 2011, 9:56 pm
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by Gremmie View Post
I dont get this, mum cant stay because she is independant ??? she likes her own things around her, but not her daughter or grand kids ??? Is dad still alive that she has to hurry back to UK ?? Sorry just dont get this.
What is there to get? If you look and read closely you will see it is only a thread about a daughter missing her mum and not wanting to say goodbye to her again!
If you are going to look for other things within it then go ahead but most people are just taking as it is ment to be.
If you are really struggling with understanding then you should have just bypassed the thread and not bother commenting.
I am sure that most people know that these days it is a gamble as to whether to post or not for the fear of people mocking or reading to much into it. This is a free forum where you read the post and help if you can give if you can't then don't reply.
Sorry for the bluntness but I really think it need to be said out loud again.
Thank you for all of the rest of your kind words, I am feeling much better now and getting into my routine again.

Julie
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Old Jul 12th 2011, 10:07 pm
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by thedignans View Post
What is there to get? If you look and read closely you will see it is only a thread about a daughter missing her mum and not wanting to say goodbye to her again!
If you are going to look for other things within it then go ahead but most people are just taking as it is ment to be.
If you are really struggling with understanding then you should have just bypassed the thread and not bother commenting.
I am sure that most people know that these days it is a gamble as to whether to post or not for the fear of people mocking or reading to much into it. This is a free forum where you read the post and help if you can give if you can't then don't reply.
Sorry for the bluntness but I really think it need to be said out loud again.
Thank you for all of the rest of your kind words, I am feeling much better now and getting into my routine again.

Julie
Well if you miss mum why dont you ask her to stay longer
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Old Jul 12th 2011, 11:02 pm
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by thedignans View Post
The bad thing is when she goes home it really breaks my heart. I hate having to say that "goodbye" all over again.
What is there to get? If you look and read closely you will see it is only a thread about a daughter missing her mum and not wanting to say goodbye to her again!
Originally Posted by Gremmie View Post
Well if you miss mum why dont you ask her to stay longer
Maybe it's the goodbyes more than the length/frequency of visits.
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Old Jul 12th 2011, 11:33 pm
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Default Re: So sad

I feel your pain, my friend. My MIL came over for another visit at the beginning of June (in time for my hubby's 40th birthday)! We missed her so much when she left. Saying goodbye seems to bring back all those old questions about whether what we have done is worth what we have left behind etc.

My own mom has a flying phobia; so it is seriously unlikely that she will ever come over here. But strangely enough, I do not mourn that fact as much as I do when I say goodbye to someone at Pearson. I think it is the whole 'saying goodbye thing' that affects me more than anything else.

Hang in there it will get easier; and maybe put a pin in the calendar for her next visit - that's what my MIL does each time she comes over... She is even planning on braving a Canadian winter next time!!

It will hopefully get easier once your old routine kicks in, but in the meantime don't be too hard on yourself - you are allowed to miss your love ones..
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Old Jul 13th 2011, 1:45 pm
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Default Re: So sad

Originally Posted by thedignans View Post
My mum was over from Scotland for a visit like she has been for the last 4 years. We all look forward to this all year. The bad thing is when she goes home it really breaks my heart. I hate having to say that "goodbye" all over again. The kids really enjoy having her around and don't quite understand why we can't go visit her or she can't stay longer with us.

Anyway we have a good life here and our lives are so blessed in all other aspects but I just miss my mum. I figure you all would know how I was feeling and just needed to speak.

Sorry for boring anyone.

Julie
I feel your pain, my 2 grown up kids have just gone back to the UK after a visit. I also get excited when they are coming, & we had a fantastic time together, but seeing them off at the airport is heartbreaking. They went home on Monday & I spent all day yesterday wondering if I really want to be here or go back to the UK to be near them again. These feelings usually pass in a few days, but at the time it sucks to feel like that. I hope you feel better soon.
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Old Jul 13th 2011, 3:03 pm
  #29  
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Default Re: So sad

We have been here two years and my parents have been out twice, both times staying for 5 months - long enough for us to get well and truly into a routine of life with them here. I know how lucky I am to have such a great relationship with them, and that they can come for prolonged visits - they will be back here in September, but it always results in painful goodbyes. The way we get through it is to book their next trip staright away, we are then saying at the airport "see you in September".

I am lucky, but my OH parent's have not made it over here yet in spite of promises to do so. Circumstances have made it hard for them to be able to come, and at 78 and 80 they will not likely make many visits, if at all.

Yes, this immigration stuff is hard, we all feel it in our own way.

Sending positive thoughts to you Julie xx
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