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Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
I'm house hunting at the moment. Have been for a while so monitor Realtor.ca & other websites closely. It's a generalisation I know, but Realtors are really rather crap aren't they? From the guy listing a $1.8m house (which I hasten to add is many multiples outside of my price range) WHO PUTS THE DESCRIPTION ALL IN CAPS BECAUSE, WELL THATS EASY TO READ ISN'T IT?, to truly awful pictures that are too small to view, it seems that one is ill served for the 5% one lashes out to sell a house.
My favourite example of hyperbolae this week is "Overlooked by the market". Which means, I think, Overpriced/Badly built/poor location/or has some other overwhelming problem with it. What's yours? (& for the Realtors that post here, I'm sure you are the jewels amongst the general sea of mediocrity. Please don't get offended. You are, at least, more highly regarded than Lawyers & Politicians). |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
The Paradise traffic starting to get to you ? :) - Where you looking at this time ?
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Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by nldfc
(Post 11259918)
The Paradise traffic starting to get to you ? :) - Where you looking at this time ?
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it's not porn I promise , just horrendous pictures of houses
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Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
You might enjoy this thread:
http://notthetalk.com/discussion/top/11504 It's called "Thread to drool over lovely houses" but many contributions are posted ironically. If you've only time for one gem, I suggest this one: http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-...ntent=57028913 Oh, and near the (current) end I posted a house near where I used to live an hour and half north of Toronto (without traffic). In an Estate Agent Car that's a 45 minute commute; it says so in the advert. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Well the classic real estate euphemism is "in need of modernisation" for a complete dump. "Charming" for couldn't swing a cat.
What surprises me is that MLS.ca, with many years head start in joined up data, has an online site that looks much like a high school web project from the 90s. Rightmove.co.uk and Zoopla are just so much better! Although perhaps not for Newfoundland. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
If it wasn't for that green toilet lid, there'd be shit all over the walls.
Oh, hang on...
Originally Posted by dbd33
(Post 11259955)
You might enjoy this thread:
http://notthetalk.com/discussion/top/11504 It's called "Thread to drool over lovely houses" but many contributions are posted ironically. I've you've only time for one gem, I suggest this one: http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-...ntent=57028913 Oh, and near the (current) end I posted a house near where I used to live an hour and half north of Toronto (without traffic). In an Estate Agent Car that's a 45 minute commute; it says so in the advert. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Shard
(Post 11259963)
Well the classic real estate euphemism is "in need of modernisation" for a complete dump. "Charming" for couldn't swing a cat.
What surprises me is that MLS.ca, with many years head start in joined up data, has an online site that looks much like a high school web project from the 90s. Rightmove.co.uk and Zoopla are just so much better! Although perhaps not for Newfoundland. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Shard
(Post 11259963)
Well the classic real estate euphemism is "in need of modernisation" for a complete dump. "Charming" for couldn't swing a cat.
What surprises me is that MLS.ca, with many years head start in joined up data, has an online site that looks much like a high school web project from the 90s. Rightmove.co.uk and Zoopla are just so much better! Although perhaps not for Newfoundland. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
This is in an area newly named "Beaches North". It seems, at first glance, to be a Wobbly Shed With Crazy Paving Up The Exterior Wall Unsold For Yonks As Shown By The Snow On The Ground:
http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetail...dKey=207874865 We are, however, advised that it's an "Open Concept Fully Renovated Semi". The cynic in me (and yes there is one, wonders if the interior walls descended of their own accord). "Storage Under The Deck." it says, Spectacularly Gilding That Lily. This house is also a Tardis: Land Size : 15.92x82.83 FT Laundry room Basement 21 ft ,3 in x 28 ft ,6 in |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
I've watched a few of the property porn shows on HGTV and have become convinced that it must be a contractual obligation for every person to say, "Granite Countertops Stainless Steel Appliances Hardwood Floors" at least four times in every show.
Or walk into a bedroom the size of an aircraft hangar and say "It's a little small..." |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Jingsamichty
(Post 11260035)
I've watched a few of the property porn shows on HGTV and have become convinced that it must be a contractual obligation for every person to say, "Granite Countertops Stainless Steel Appliances Hardwood Floors" at least four times in every show.
Or walk into a bedroom the size of an aircraft hangar and say "It's a little small..." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWoWHzq21tA |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Here's a further example of Realtor nonsense....
[RANT MODE]This bungalow has been on and off the market for 6-9 months either through a succession of realtors or privately. http://beta.realtor.ca/propertyDetai...rtyId=14297029 It looks quite nice but isn't useful for us as we need three bedrooms on the same level. Everytime it's been advertised though the blurb refers to the fact that "it's listed below appraisal value" or "Save $60k on the appraised value" etc etc. Somebody needs to wake up and smell the coffee. If it 'aint selling at that price then the appraised value is irrelevant, meaningless, valueless and the $$ you paid to the certified appraiser for this piece of info was wasted. We had a similar issue last year - we made a lowball offer on an older bungalow that needed a ton of $$ spent on it. It had an appraisal $150k higher than the price it eventually sold it for. That's nuts. Either the vendor was greedy or the realtor was an idiot or a combination of the two. Baffling. [/RANT MODE] |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Zoe Bell
(Post 11259933)
it's not porn I promise , just horrendous pictures of houses
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Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Australian Realtors can take BS to altogether new levels.
One of my favourites was being told in the blurb that 'everything has been done for you' and we get to the house to find that instead of taps on the showers they are using monkey wrenches and there are cracks in the walls in the living room big enough to put your fist through....(so by everything done for you they really meant already turned into what looked like a crack-house at no extra charge) :eek: |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Atlantic Xpat
(Post 11260064)
Here's a further example of Realtor nonsense....
[RANT MODE]This bungalow has been on and off the market for 6-9 months either through a succession of realtors or privately. http://beta.realtor.ca/propertyDetai...rtyId=14297029 It looks quite nice but isn't useful for us as we need three bedrooms on the same level. Everytime it's been advertised though the blurb refers to the fact that "it's listed below appraisal value" or "Save $60k on the appraised value" etc etc. Somebody needs to wake up and smell the coffee. If it 'aint selling at that price then the appraised value is irrelevant, meaningless, valueless and the $$ you paid to the certified appraiser for this piece of info was wasted. |
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I'm bemused by the agents' touting-for-business patter. If all those who claim to be "in the top 2% of agents nationwide" are really all in the 98th centile, there must still be countless thousands of people who hold a realtor's license as a hobby. Is there a pool of realtors in Saskatchewan, or somewhere, who never sell anything to anybody but are paid out in tips from other realtors so that they can keep their top x% claims alive?
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Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Jingsamichty
(Post 11260035)
I've watched a few of the property porn shows on HGTV and have become convinced that it must be a contractual obligation for every person to say, "Granite Countertops Stainless Steel Appliances Hardwood Floors" at least four times in every show.
Or walk into a bedroom the size of an aircraft hangar and say "It's a little small..." :blink: |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Check this one out. http://beta.realtor.ca/propertyDetai...rtyId=14225235
IT was first listed 28-March at $899k. Then dropped to $879 two weeks later, and today was cancelled and reposted at $849k. Original description: Wonderful Oakville Family Home In Great Community Of Glen Abbey. Main Floor Embodies Separate Living, Family & Dining Rooms, Spacious Eat-In Kitchen. Second Floor Features 4 Bedrooms Including Master Retreat W/ Large Ensuite & Walk-In Closet. Fabulous Professionally Finished Lower Level With 2nd Kitchen, 5th Bedroom And 3Pc Bath. Backyard Features Grand 2-Level Deck Fabulous For Outdoor Entertaining. **** EXTRAS **** Hardwood Floors, Ceramics, Stainless Steel Appliances, Gas Fireplace NEW IMPROVED DESCRIPTION IN CAPS FOR EXTRA PUSH: WONDERFUL OAKVILLE FAMILY HOME IN GREAT COMMUNITY OF GLEN ABBEY. MAIN FLOOR FEATURES LARGE PRINCIPAL ROOMS INCLUDING SPACIOUS EAT-IN KITCHEN WITH WALKOUT TO REAR DECK. UPPER LEVEL FEATURES 4 BEDROOMS INCLUDING MASTER RETREAT WITH LARGE ENSUITE AND WALK-IN CLOSET. FABULOUS PROFESSIONALLY FINISHED LOWER LEVEL WITH 2ND KITCHEN, 5TH BEDROOM AND 3PC BATH. LARGE 2-LEVEL DECK IN REAR YARD FABULOUS FOR THE OUTDOOR ENTERTAINER! (I'll post the new listing link when it hits realtor.ca, which it hasn't yet.) |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by SchnookoLoly
(Post 11260240)
Check this one out. http://beta.realtor.ca/propertyDetai...rtyId=14225235
IT was first listed 28-March at $899k. Then dropped to $879 two weeks later, and today was cancelled and reposted at $849k. Original description: Wonderful Oakville Family Home In Great Community Of Glen Abbey. Main Floor Embodies Separate Living, Family & Dining Rooms, Spacious Eat-In Kitchen. Second Floor Features 4 Bedrooms Including Master Retreat W/ Large Ensuite & Walk-In Closet. Fabulous Professionally Finished Lower Level With 2nd Kitchen, 5th Bedroom And 3Pc Bath. Backyard Features Grand 2-Level Deck Fabulous For Outdoor Entertaining. **** EXTRAS **** Hardwood Floors, Ceramics, Stainless Steel Appliances, Gas Fireplace NEW IMPROVED DESCRIPTION IN CAPS FOR EXTRA PUSH: WONDERFUL OAKVILLE FAMILY HOME IN GREAT COMMUNITY OF GLEN ABBEY. MAIN FLOOR FEATURES LARGE PRINCIPAL ROOMS INCLUDING SPACIOUS EAT-IN KITCHEN WITH WALKOUT TO REAR DECK. UPPER LEVEL FEATURES 4 BEDROOMS INCLUDING MASTER RETREAT WITH LARGE ENSUITE AND WALK-IN CLOSET. FABULOUS PROFESSIONALLY FINISHED LOWER LEVEL WITH 2ND KITCHEN, 5TH BEDROOM AND 3PC BATH. LARGE 2-LEVEL DECK IN REAR YARD FABULOUS FOR THE OUTDOOR ENTERTAINER! (I'll post the new listing link when it hits realtor.ca, which it hasn't yet.) |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Oakvillian
(Post 11260117)
I'm bemused by the agents' touting-for-business patter. If all those who claim to be "in the top 2% of agents nationwide" are really all in the 98th centile, there must still be countless thousands of people who hold a realtor's license as a hobby. Is there a pool of realtors in Saskatchewan, or somewhere, who never sell anything to anybody but are paid out in tips from other realtors so that they can keep their top x% claims alive?
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You can't beat the Framley Examiner...
http://www.framleyexaminer.com/pages/prop001 http://www.framleyexaminer.com/pages/prop001 |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by dbd33
(Post 11260249)
It's a ghastly suburban house in rather a wasteland but what's unusual about the listing?
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some of the captions are funnier than the pictures
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Don't even get me going on this subject!
We've been at it for months, trying to get somewhere for my stepson. We recently spent weeks and a fair bit of money chasing a place near Quebec City. First problem; it was advertised as a triplex. Legally is isn't. It's a duplex. That's money off the price straight away. Then the inspection ($$$). That threw up issues that we then got specialist contractors in to look at ($$$). Numerous things came up. Highly dodgy roof, knackered foundations, extremely iffy electricals (wet string and the place isn't even grounded!). The seller refused another cut in price, so we walked away (poorer). It's back on the market, at the original price. They won't get it, particularly as our inspection report(s) is now on record. The next one was very nice, an estate sale and the place was in good nick, and on a huge lot. Being an estate sale, with basically everything included, it was advertised as-is, with no legal guarantees. We were ready to offer over asking, until we discovered a couple of things. The place is not connected to the municipal water supply. It is connected to a shared well. The foundation is not poured concrete, as advertised. It's cement blocks. What else are they lying about? We didn't make an offer. The current target is a sale-by-owner. The guy has partially done the place up but is going through a divorce. He's flogging it as-is, including brand new appliances. He needs to sell because he's about to go bankrupt, he says. Two slight problems. His garage encroaches on somebody else's property. The septic system is screwed. We may follow-up on this one because the finishing work is trivial to me and my BIL. We will nail the bloke on price, though. We have stopped playing nicely. This is a terrible time of year to be buying property in QC. All the good stuff has gone and anything left will have issues. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Souvy
(Post 11261778)
Don't even get me going on this subject!
We've been at it for months, trying to get somewhere for my stepson. We recently spent weeks and a fair bit of money chasing a place near Quebec City. First problem; it was advertised as a triplex. Legally is isn't. It's a duplex. That's money off the price straight away. Then the inspection ($$$). That threw up issues that we then got specialist contractors in to look at ($$$). Numerous things came up. Highly dodgy roof, knackered foundations, extremely iffy electricals (wet string and the place isn't even grounded!). The seller refused another cut in price, so we walked away (poorer). It's back on the market, at the original price. They won't get it, particularly as our inspection report(s) is now on record. The next one was very nice, an estate sale and the place was in good nick, and on a huge lot. Being an estate sale, with basically everything included, it was advertised as-is, with no legal guarantees. We were ready to offer over asking, until we discovered a couple of things. The place is not connected to the municipal water supply. It is connected to a shared well. The foundation is not poured concrete, as advertised. It's cement blocks. What else are they lying about? We didn't make an offer. The current target is a sale-by-owner. The guy has partially done the place up but is going through a divorce. He's flogging it as-is, including brand new appliances. He needs to sell because he's about to go bankrupt, he says. Two slight problems. His garage encroaches on somebody else's property. The septic system is screwed. We may follow-up on this one because the finishing work is trivial to me and my BIL. We will nail the bloke on price, though. We have stopped playing nicely. This is a terrible time of year to be buying property in QC. All the good stuff has gone and anything left will have issues. Good luck to you guys, hopefully you can find something reasonable soon. Fingers crossed for you. Thanks for sharing. :) |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
An article on the possibility of DIY online property selling (from a UK perspective):
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/p...se-or-500.html Given the increased agency fees in Canada, it makes even more sense. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Shard
(Post 11262010)
An article on the possibility of DIY online property selling (from a UK perspective):
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/p...se-or-500.html Given the increased agency fees in Canada, it makes even more sense. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Some honest estate agent speak makes headlines...
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk...t-9384152.html |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Shard
(Post 11263049)
Some honest estate agent speak makes headlines...
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk...t-9384152.html |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Jingsamichty
(Post 11263166)
The Independent has a paywall. Do you pay to subscribe?
A brutally honest estate agent’s description of an east London flat has failed to deter prospective tenants, even after advertising it as “not very nice†and describing the kitchen as “well-usedâ€. The property in question, a one bedroomed flat on Hoxton Street, is currently being advertised at £997 per month by Harvey Residential, who say it has received a lot of interest since it was first listed on the website on 8 May. A description posted on Zoopla reads: “Not a very nice one bedroom flat [sic] but like the budgie it’s cheap, open plan, well used kitchen, and if you can call it this – a small lounge.†Warren George, director of the business, told the Evening Standard: “It is refreshing when an estate agent tells all of the truth - I could say that it has a ground floor spacious kitchen. It is quite a basic straight forward flat that is not very nice." A picture of the bedroom in the flat He said Harvey Residential is a “young, good for the environment estate agency†based in the area who are trying to “give a refreshing and honest description†of the property. Mr George said it is not the first time the company has included such brutally honest details as “there is no point giving people the wrong message.†The 'well-used' kitchen The rent on the flat is below average for the Hoxton area, where a more upmarket flat usually costs upwards of about £1,300 per month. The advertisement follows recent interest in a studio-flat in west London's Earls Court, which offered a single bed, kitchen and shower all packed into one room for £563 per month. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Jingsamichty
(Post 11263166)
The Independent has a paywall. Do you pay to subscribe?
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Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Jingsamichty
(Post 11263166)
The Independent has a paywall. Do you pay to subscribe?
Originally Posted by SchnookoLoly
(Post 11263172)
Not sure why it's letting me read it, I certainly haven't paid, maybe because I'm in Canada? No idea!)
Originally Posted by Shard
(Post 11263175)
Does it? Didn't know that. It's free in the UK.
More often than not I get to see the page, start reading then there's a subscription box pops up obscuring the text and it follows me if trying to scroll. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by BristolUK
(Post 11263223)
It blocks me, although I'm sure I get through once in a while. Perhaps it's like the telegraph limiting the number of accesses per month but much more strictly.
More often than not I get to see the page, start reading then there's a subscription box pops up obscuring the text and it follows me if trying to scroll. http://www.theguardian.com/media/201...non-uk-readers |
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New York Times-style system of 20 free articles a month is part of push to bolster Independent's multimedia credentials MediaHint gets me into BBC, ITV, C4 but obviously doesn't work with the indie. |
Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by Atlantic Xpat
(Post 11259990)
The Beta Realtor.CA website is an improvement over MLS, except if you use the clever draw an area on a map tool you can never delete it or search outside of that area. I ended up deleting cookies & history to lose it. Plus, of course, the pictures are tiny & most of the generic Realtor websites linked to (some of which I think are provided by MLS) simply carry over those tiny photos. Realtor.ca has been in Beta for over a year though. Perhaps MLS use the same IT contractors as Air Canada, who set the bar for crap Canadian IT.
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Re: Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
Originally Posted by nicolasta
(Post 11267834)
Thanks for mentioning the beta.realtor website. We are moving to St John's in November 2014 and I have been relying on remax and exit realty sites, but not being massively familiar with the area I much prefer searching by map. Obviously renting for the first while, but great to get a view of what is out there......thanks again :thumbsup:
AX |
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