Real Estate Agent hyperbolae...
 

I'm house hunting at the moment. Have been for a while so monitor Realtor.ca & other websites closely. It's a generalisation I know, but Realtors are really rather crap aren't they? From the guy listing a $1.8m house (which I hasten to add is many multiples outside of my price range) WHO PUTS THE DESCRIPTION ALL IN CAPS BECAUSE, WELL THATS EASY TO READ ISN'T IT?, to truly awful pictures that are too small to view, it seems that one is ill served for the 5% one lashes out to sell a house.

My favourite example of hyperbolae this week is "Overlooked by the market". Which means, I think, Overpriced/Badly built/poor location/or has some other overwhelming problem with it. What's yours?

(& for the Realtors that post here, I'm sure you are the jewels amongst the general sea of mediocrity. Please don't get offended. You are, at least, more highly regarded than Lawyers & Politicians).

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The Paradise traffic starting to get to you ? :) - Where you looking at this time ?

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Well I have started taking the CBS bypass to work (10 mins door to door this morning) rather than McManara/Kenmount, but that's not the reason. Our youngest daughter is physically disabled & she's now at an age (2) where her & our lives would be made easier by living in a Bungalow. So that's what we're looking for. Ideally in the same sort of area we are now.

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Blocked by the internet filters at work so that's entertainment that'l have to wait til later.

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it's not porn I promise , just horrendous pictures of houses

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You might enjoy this thread:

http://notthetalk.com/discussion/top/11504

It's called "Thread to drool over lovely houses" but many contributions are posted ironically. If you've only time for one gem, I suggest this one:

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-...ntent=57028913

Oh, and near the (current) end I posted a house near where I used to live an hour and half north of Toronto (without traffic). In an Estate Agent Car that's a 45 minute commute; it says so in the advert.

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Well the classic real estate euphemism is "in need of modernisation" for a complete dump. "Charming" for couldn't swing a cat.

What surprises me is that MLS.ca, with many years head start in joined up data, has an online site that looks much like a high school web project from the 90s. Rightmove.co.uk and Zoopla are just so much better! Although perhaps not for Newfoundland.

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If it wasn't for that green toilet lid, there'd be shit all over the walls.

Oh, hang on...

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There's a newer version of the mls site that's been in beta test for years, I've never been able to make it work with Interner Explorer despite having upgraded the browser numerous times. The old one is much more stable but has the irritating feature that it often has multiple entries for the same house through different agents. I know that's because one has lost the listing and the other gained it and assume it's so the old agent can bait and switch. Technically that's against the real estate board rules but being in breach of those rules is like being in breach of the Used Car Trader Association rules.

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The Beta Realtor.CA website is an improvement over MLS, except if you use the clever draw an area on a map tool you can never delete it or search outside of that area. I ended up deleting cookies & history to lose it. Plus, of course, the pictures are tiny & most of the generic Realtor websites linked to (some of which I think are provided by MLS) simply carry over those tiny photos. Realtor.ca has been in Beta for over a year though. Perhaps MLS use the same IT contractors as Air Canada, who set the bar for crap Canadian IT.

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This is in an area newly named "Beaches North". It seems, at first glance, to be a Wobbly Shed With Crazy Paving Up The Exterior Wall Unsold For Yonks As Shown By The Snow On The Ground:

http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetail...dKey=207874865

We are, however, advised that it's an "Open Concept Fully Renovated Semi". The cynic in me (and yes there is one, wonders if the interior walls descended of their own accord).

"Storage Under The Deck." it says, Spectacularly Gilding That Lily.

This house is also a Tardis:

Land Size : 15.92x82.83 FT
Laundry room Basement 21 ft ,3 in x 28 ft ,6 in

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I've watched a few of the property porn shows on HGTV and have become convinced that it must be a contractual obligation for every person to say, "Granite Countertops Stainless Steel Appliances Hardwood Floors" at least four times in every show.

Or walk into a bedroom the size of an aircraft hangar and say "It's a little small..."

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Reminds me of...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWoWHzq21tA

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Here's a further example of Realtor nonsense....

[RANT MODE]This bungalow has been on and off the market for 6-9 months either through a succession of realtors or privately. http://beta.realtor.ca/propertyDetai...rtyId=14297029 It looks quite nice but isn't useful for us as we need three bedrooms on the same level. Everytime it's been advertised though the blurb refers to the fact that "it's listed below appraisal value" or "Save $60k on the appraised value" etc etc. Somebody needs to wake up and smell the coffee. If it 'aint selling at that price then the appraised value is irrelevant, meaningless, valueless and the $$ you paid to the certified appraiser for this piece of info was wasted.

We had a similar issue last year - we made a lowball offer on an older bungalow that needed a ton of $$ spent on it. It had an appraisal $150k higher than the price it eventually sold it for. That's nuts. Either the vendor was greedy or the realtor was an idiot or a combination of the two. Baffling.
[/RANT MODE]