Not charmed by his accent then?

This must have the world watching...what a wondeful girl...I so hope for a happy ending.

A 'career' in Reality TV beckons.

As it is new year (the real new year, not the fake, January, hang-over extending one) I was thinking of healthy eating. Obviously summer means salad, but also bbq, wine, gin, wine and wine so I thought I'd try something new.

Those of you who know me (so just you Nicky) will know healthy food is not my strong suit but channelling my inner hipster, lentil-weaver I thought I'd try kale. God it stinks, and tastes just as bad. I ate it but I don't think the salt, pepper, butter and pea meal bacon it took to do so will have added to the health benefits.

I steamed it. What did I do wrong?

You took it home. This is the moment to eschew healthy eating, start on roast dinners and stews and to switch to heavier reds. If there is a moment for kale, it is a moment for someone else.

Its alright raw in a smoothie. Just make sure to put a banana in it to mask any unpleasant taste or smell.

Seriously?

Also bananas less and less appealing the older I get. Used to like them, but adding kale and blending sounds like a recipe for green slime

This sounds much better. I think the tortoise could do with a kale moment.

You could have a tortoise smoothie and have a ready made serving bowl with the shell

I surprised myself the other day by getting some lentils.

The fact that it was in an already made curried soup made it more appealing.

OMG...the pictures I just found

x2

It's a fair cop

Dear God, you have really been looking at the dark side of the web - that top one is absolutely disgusting

A simple search on turtle soup...who'd have thought

Eeek, the spoiler should come with a warning!!!!