DaveLovesDee

BBC

I've heard #33 more than a few times.

CanadaJimmy

Unbelievable, my boss here says pretty much the same thing, "go forward", all the time.

Must be a Vancouver thing.

ducktastic

My personal favourite that I have heard is

'we need to square the circle'

What the hell does that mean??!!!

edwinslad

I hated being "on the critical path" because sometimes the "deliverables" couldn't be obtained.

el_richo

"That El_Richo, what a toss-rag" is a phrase i often hear, and hate.

Zoe Bell

On a similar vein " Zoe knows how to do that"

I have developed an amazing touch of selective amnesia with regard to certain tasks that fall outside my job description.

gad33

Is that a Canadian expression? I heard it all the time in my last job and drove me crazy.

deepfriedbrain

Originally stolen from a chain email, but adopted with gusto in the office I used to work in: 'Oh look, the ***** up fairy has visited again'

Tuppence

The one that's confusing the hell out of me, is "out of pocket".
Nothing to do with money, but meaning someone is out of the office and can't be contacted
What the bloody hell is that all about?

Atlantic Xpat

I had a boss in Canada that used to infuriate me by using the term 'He/She has some free cycles' to say that someone had some free time/capacity to take on more work. Actually, he used to infuriate me in many other ways but that's a different story.......

ireland2canada

I read a job ad recently which contained the following inexplicable mess:

"The successful incumbent will be able to leverage their own diversity".

BristolUK

You should have asked how many gears they had.

BristolUK

You should send that to Simon Hoggart at the Guardian. He compiles job ads like that.

Jingsamichty

Translation: "Sell things to people the same colour as you." ?

Sherlock Holmes

Here's one I actually liked when I worked: I see the paper eagle has shat in my in tray again.