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-   -   Offering your seat to a lady? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/maple-leaf-98/offering-your-seat-lady-542506/)

gryphea Jun 11th 2008 1:34 pm

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 
I have taken the C train once, last week, and I was offered a seat by gentleman. I thought it was because he thought I gave him a mean stare, as neither of us had seats and he grabbed it, but now I am worried I look pregnant!!!!

I certainly wasn't offended at the time. I thought it was sweet!

Gryphea

Biiiiink Jun 11th 2008 1:42 pm

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 
I'd be really freaked out and would hope that you got off the train before I did, or I'd think you were going to follow me or something.

If I was pregnant or older, I'd appreciate it ;)

hot wasabi peas Jun 11th 2008 3:14 pm

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by dingbat (Post 6458125)
Using the word "lady" is considered to be discriminatory in my office. :confused:


Discriminatory seems a bit harsh but it does make me wince when I hear it.... although if I hear it from someone from the UK, I chalk it up to cultural difference.

Jingsamichty, I think for most Canadians (at least in my peer group and younger) 'lady' has quite different connotations than it does in the UK. You might need that seat yourself if you 'excuse me lady, would you like this seat?' the wrong woman. :huh: :rofl:

Danny B Jun 11th 2008 3:47 pm

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by hot wasabi peas (Post 6459111)
Discriminatory seems a bit harsh but it does make me wince when I hear it.... although if I hear it from someone from the UK, I chalk it up to cultural difference.

What's wrong with calling someone a Lady? I say all it all the time. eg; Look at that Lady with the red coat. Is this bad manners in Canada? :confused:

dingbat Jun 11th 2008 4:14 pm

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by Danny B (Post 6459174)
What's wrong with calling someone a Lady? I say all it all the time. eg; Look at that Lady with the red coat. Is this bad manners in Canada? :confused:

It is not a term I hear very often any more. I know a female worker complained that a male client had referred to her as a "lady". She felt that it was demeaning, and that she was somehow not considered to be on an equal footing with a male worker. It's the "ladies who lunch" (and therefore don't do much of any value) connotation, I think. I didn't dare tell her what most of the male workers actually call her. "Lady" is the least of her worries. :ohmy:

daft batty Jun 11th 2008 4:54 pm

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by dingbat (Post 6459240)
It is not a term I hear very often any more. I know a female worker complained that a male client had referred to her as a "lady". She felt that it was demeaning, and that she was somehow not considered to be on an equal footing with a male worker. It's the "ladies who lunch" (and therefore don't do much of any value) connotation, I think. I didn't dare tell her what most of the male workers actually call her. "Lady" is the least of her worries. :ohmy:

I know that its not supposed to be correct to refer to someone as a lady but if I use the word woman, that doesnt sound very polite. I think its because I spent so long working with posh doctors. To them, a woman would be your cleaner, a lady would refer to someone from the WI, or church. You know, common or posh. But then I still call men "gent", "gentleman" . I must be a whatsit, you know, one of those old things in museums, dammit, whats the word?

Steve_P Jun 11th 2008 4:57 pm

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by daft batty (Post 6459275)
I must be a whatsit, you know, one of those old things in museums, dammit, whats the word?

Dinosaur:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Just like me. ;)

daft batty Jun 11th 2008 4:59 pm

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by Steve_P (Post 6459278)
Dinosaur:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Just like me. ;)

But I would be a lady dinosaur and you would be a gentleman dinosaur. We could compare spinous processes if you like;)

daft batty Jun 11th 2008 4:59 pm

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by Steve_P (Post 6459278)
Dinosaur:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Just like me. ;)

But I would be a lady dinosaur and you would be a gentleman dinosaur. We could compare spinous processes if you like;)

Julie_p Jun 11th 2008 11:08 pm

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by dingbat (Post 6459240)
It is not a term I hear very often any more. I know a female worker complained that a male client had referred to her as a "lady". She felt that it was demeaning, and that she was somehow not considered to be on an equal footing with a male worker. It's the "ladies who lunch" (and therefore don't do much of any value) connotation, I think. I didn't dare tell her what most of the male workers actually call her. "Lady" is the least of her worries. :ohmy:

:rofl:that made me laugh

Jingsamichty Jun 12th 2008 2:56 am

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by Biiiiink (Post 6458924)
I'd be really freaked out and would hope that you got off the train before I did, or I'd think you were going to follow me or something.

If I was pregnant or older, I'd appreciate it ;)

See, that's exactly the type of response I'd be afraid of!!

Summary:

You ladies/women/birds are all mental and us poor blokes don't have a hope in being able to tell if you would like a seat, or whether you'd punch our lights out for daring to offer, or for making you worry about if you look pregnant.

From now on, if anyone wants my seat, you're gonna have to fight me for it!!! :rofl::rofl:

hot wasabi peas Jun 12th 2008 3:24 am

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by Danny B (Post 6459174)
What's wrong with calling someone a Lady? I say all it all the time. eg; Look at that Lady with the red coat. Is this bad manners in Canada? :confused:


Depending on the context, 'lady' in Canada can mean, like dingbat says 'ladies who lunch' - ie it can carry the perceived negative qualities of being 'ladylike' : deferring, decorative, mindless, feeble, bobble-headed doormats.

I wouldn't say it's necessarily bad manners but it is along the continuum of "don't you worry yer purdy little head, darlin'" type speak. :blink:

hot wasabi peas Jun 12th 2008 3:26 am

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty (Post 6460355)
From now on, if anyone wants my seat, you're gonna have to fight me for it!!! :rofl::rofl:

:rofl: :rofl:

Steve_P Jun 12th 2008 3:30 am

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 
Thank goodness I don't ride public transport.

I most likely have a heart attack from the stress of trying to figure out whether or not to give up my seat. :blink::eek::eek:

hot wasabi peas Jun 12th 2008 3:33 am

Re: Offering your seat to a lady?
 

Originally Posted by Steve_P (Post 6460455)
Thank goodness I don't ride public transport.

I most likely have a heart attack from the stress of trying to figure out whether or not to give up my seat. :blink::eek::eek:


I'm surprised that you just wouldn't bother with the stress and just offer your lap! :sneaky:

:rofl:


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