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A month with the Mother in Law

A month with the Mother in Law

Old Jul 25th 2011, 10:39 pm
  #1  
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Default A month with the Mother in Law

The kids are playing in the pool, with my farmers tan and hairy back I remain at the waters edge. Having read the paper and all the footy news on line I thought I may as well share/vent as hot showers and the bible readings have not had the desired effect.

The arrival.
A month can seem a very long time when spent in the company of someone whose teeth are collected by chinese practioners as a cure for smallpox. Even though she remained in the basement as creatures of her nature should and I worked all the hours I could, a month was a long time, here is how it went.
It started badly, she survived the flight. On arriving at our home I was expecting the predictable moans about how far away we lived and how she still could not understand why we moved. However, she had adopted a more cunning plan, she was PLEASANT! Not easily lulled into a sense of false secuirty I nonetheless succumbed, as I thought I may not have to go a month without sex if I was equally pleasant.

The quiet before the storm.
Got me. Just when I thought I had her where I wanted her the master manipulator played another masterstroke, she started paying for things. I should explain. My wife is so tight she barely exhales. The offer of anything will appeal. So now I have a pleasant mother in law who is treating daughter and grandaughter. "See, she is not that bad" said my wife, " I told you it would be different this time" I felt like I was listening to Neville Chamberlain, and I was right.

Don't drink the water!
But of course it could not last, for me or her. It started with this classic and jsut got better from there. Father in law fills a glass with filtered water from the fridge. Grimincing, MIL remarks, "eewww you are not going to drink the water are you?!" On days 1-10 I may have been able to let this go, at the halfway point though and my tether was stretched. As she had built up good favour she felt empowered to start the nastiness. I bit. This though was but an appetizer to the banquet of spiteful comments to come. " You are too old to wear your hair long" you are too old to wear jeans" Both quotes to Mrs Rae (42yrs)

To be continued......
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Old Jul 25th 2011, 10:43 pm
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

Commiserations.

Looking forward to more.
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Old Jul 25th 2011, 10:48 pm
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

+1

Originally Posted by Steve_P View Post
Commiserations.

Looking forward to more.
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Old Jul 25th 2011, 10:52 pm
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

A single month? Is that all?

I'm at week 9. Two more to go.

I feel your pain Rae.
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Old Jul 25th 2011, 10:56 pm
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

Firstly, I'd re read the Amy Winehouse thread as it serves up a precautionary tale of woe as mother-law-conflict is the leading cause of alcoholism and drug addiction, world wide.

Secondly, if your assessment of Mrs. RAE's pecuniary qualities is correct I don't think a month is too long of a wait.

Lastly, extend the hand of friendship and take her to Putt-n-Gow at the WEM. She might even stand you a round.
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Old Jul 25th 2011, 11:08 pm
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

Cue mother in law jokes

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.
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Old Jul 25th 2011, 11:18 pm
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

You have the strength Rae.
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Old Jul 26th 2011, 12:54 am
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

Originally Posted by Steve_P View Post
Commiserations.

Looking forward to more.
+2
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Old Jul 26th 2011, 1:12 am
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

Originally Posted by R I C H View Post
A single month? Is that all?

I'm at week 9. Two more to go.

I feel your pain Rae.
wow. wow wow wow. i don't feel qualified to write anymore, i pass the baton to you, try not to get too much blood on it.
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Old Jul 26th 2011, 1:14 am
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

Originally Posted by Oink View Post
Firstly, I'd re read the Amy Winehouse thread as it serves up a precautionary tale of woe as mother-law-conflict is the leading cause of alcoholism and drug addiction, world wide.

Secondly, if your assessment of Mrs. RAE's pecuniary qualities is correct I don't think a month is too long of a wait.

Lastly, extend the hand of friendship and take her to Putt-n-Gow at the WEM. She might even stand you a round.
i will have a look.
ha, my daughter asked me today if she could go to putt and glow. its beautiful and 26 degrees outside, i have created a monster.
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Old Jul 26th 2011, 1:16 am
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

Originally Posted by cheeky_monkey View Post
Cue mother in law jokes

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.
she was so ugly as a kid her dad tied two pork chops around her neck so the dog would play with her.
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Old Jul 26th 2011, 1:54 am
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

Originally Posted by rae View Post
The kids are playing in the pool, with my farmers tan and hairy back I remain at the waters edge. Having read the paper and all the footy news on line I thought I may as well share/vent as hot showers and the bible readings have not had the desired effect.

The arrival.
A month can seem a very long time when spent in the company of someone whose teeth are collected by chinese practioners as a cure for smallpox. Even though she remained in the basement as creatures of her nature should and I worked all the hours I could, a month was a long time, here is how it went.
It started badly, she survived the flight. On arriving at our home I was expecting the predictable moans about how far away we lived and how she still could not understand why we moved. However, she had adopted a more cunning plan, she was PLEASANT! Not easily lulled into a sense of false secuirty I nonetheless succumbed, as I thought I may not have to go a month without sex if I was equally pleasant.

The quiet before the storm.
Got me. Just when I thought I had her where I wanted her the master manipulator played another masterstroke, she started paying for things. I should explain. My wife is so tight she barely exhales. The offer of anything will appeal. So now I have a pleasant mother in law who is treating daughter and grandaughter. "See, she is not that bad" said my wife, " I told you it would be different this time" I felt like I was listening to Neville Chamberlain, and I was right.

Don't drink the water!
But of course it could not last, for me or her. It started with this classic and jsut got better from there. Father in law fills a glass with filtered water from the fridge. Grimincing, MIL remarks, "eewww you are not going to drink the water are you?!" On days 1-10 I may have been able to let this go, at the halfway point though and my tether was stretched. As she had built up good favour she felt empowered to start the nastiness. I bit. This though was but an appetizer to the banquet of spiteful comments to come. " You are too old to wear your hair long" you are too old to wear jeans" Both quotes to Mrs Rae (42yrs)

To be continued......
Being vain I will add the final bit, though I bow to RICH who must take the title of king of restraint. 11 weeks, thats charging a machine gun nest with a grenade between your teeth territory. besides its monday night that means 2 bloody hours of the bachelorette so I am staying on the computer.

Nemesis.
Its too hot. Its too cold. The mosquitoes are terrible. Its always raining. Canadians are scruffy. Canadians are stupid. Canadians have no taste. Canadians have no idea about anything. Canadians are Canadians. I say nothing, she complains to my wife I am ignorant. I say something and I am told not to cause trouble or start arguments.
We go to the supermarket. "That's not like our chicken" We see some mushrooms, "Oh they won't taste like our mushrooms" We arrive at the checkout, eyes of the other shoppers and checkout person burning into me like lasers from a James Bond movie. "Oh its so expensive here" "Oh its nothing like the quality from M+S, the fruit and veg are terrible" I start to fantasize about her death, its painful, the death not the fantasy.

Departures.
So the final day came. I looked out of my window and the cloud cover she requires to take to the air had arrived. I did my bit, carried the bags out, made sure my wife was OK several times, kicked the dog. Outside by the car I said my farewells. "Thanks for having us" said the FIL. "You are most welcome" I replied, lying through my teeth. I then walked around the car to where the MIL was stood waiting to be shown to her seat like the bloody queen. As I approached her, she turned her back, got into the car and closed the door in my face. I had to shout "GOODBYE". The final indignity.
Still, as the car pulled away, and my daughter trooped inside, I went into the garage, and, unwatched, did a little dance.
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Old Jul 26th 2011, 2:11 am
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

My commeriserations. However some of us have our MiL's living just down the road...

Last edited by Atlantic Xpat; Jul 26th 2011 at 2:15 am.
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Old Jul 26th 2011, 2:11 am
  #14  
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

I could feel your pain

We have had two lots of visitors the first lot for three weeks was my stepson (we'll call him Burt) and his girlfriend (we'll call her Gert), I don't really KNOW either of them, having only met the girlfriend once before and fairly stressful family activities with my stepson prior to emigrating and just a few weeks in between.

We then had my lot, Mum, Stepdad, Sister, BIL, Niece and Nephew for two weeks.

My Husband said, during my lots visit, it was so much easier and less stressful when Burt and Gert were here!

My reply? Well it went something like, that's what you might think, for me my lot are really easy to deal with, I feel so much more relaxed with them than I did with Burt and Gert.

He quit complaining then, I'm not saying I didn't have a good time with Burt and Gert and I'm not saying there wasn't any tension with the Alpha males with my lot though.
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Old Jul 26th 2011, 2:17 am
  #15  
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Default Re: A month with the Mother in Law

Hopefully this wasn't a glimpse into your future, Rae
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