a little joke
Mar 22nd 2007, 8:58 pm
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 202
a little joke
In the year 2004, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now
living in Canada, and said, "Once again, the earth has
become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of
all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of
every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints saying, "You have six months
to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for
40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
weeping in his yard... but no Ark.
"Noah," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
Where's the ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have
changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing
with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
the right limitations. We had to go to the Development
Appeal Board for a decision."
"Then, Transport Canada and the Departments of
Highways and Hydro demanded a bond be posted for
the future costs of moving power, trolley and other
overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's
move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming
to us, but they would hear nothing of it."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I
tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the
wood to save the owls. But no go!"
"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an
animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining
wild animals against their will. As well, they argued, the
accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and
inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."
"Then Environment Canada ruled that I couldn't build
the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact
study on your proposed flood."
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human
Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm
supposed to hire for my building crew. Also, the trade
unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience."
"To make matters worse, the Canada Revenue Agency
seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the
country illegally with endangered species."
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years
for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and
a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in
wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to
destroy the world?"
"NO!" Said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it."
living in Canada, and said, "Once again, the earth has
become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of
all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of
every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints saying, "You have six months
to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for
40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
weeping in his yard... but no Ark.
"Noah," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
Where's the ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have
changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing
with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
the right limitations. We had to go to the Development
Appeal Board for a decision."
"Then, Transport Canada and the Departments of
Highways and Hydro demanded a bond be posted for
the future costs of moving power, trolley and other
overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's
move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming
to us, but they would hear nothing of it."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I
tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the
wood to save the owls. But no go!"
"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an
animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining
wild animals against their will. As well, they argued, the
accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and
inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."
"Then Environment Canada ruled that I couldn't build
the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact
study on your proposed flood."
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human
Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm
supposed to hire for my building crew. Also, the trade
unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience."
"To make matters worse, the Canada Revenue Agency
seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the
country illegally with endangered species."
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years
for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and
a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in
wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to
destroy the world?"
"NO!" Said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it."
Mar 22nd 2007, 9:19 pm
#2
Been there, done that
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Calgary
Posts: 448
Re: a little joke
Mar 23rd 2007, 8:22 pm
#3
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 37
Re: a little joke
In the year 2004, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now
living in Canada, and said, "Once again, the earth has
become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of
all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of
every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints saying, "You have six months
to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for
40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
weeping in his yard... but no Ark.
"Noah," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
Where's the ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have
changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing
with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
the right limitations. We had to go to the Development
Appeal Board for a decision."
"Then, Transport Canada and the Departments of
Highways and Hydro demanded a bond be posted for
the future costs of moving power, trolley and other
overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's
move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming
to us, but they would hear nothing of it."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I
tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the
wood to save the owls. But no go!"
"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an
animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining
wild animals against their will. As well, they argued, the
accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and
inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."
"Then Environment Canada ruled that I couldn't build
the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact
study on your proposed flood."
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human
Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm
supposed to hire for my building crew. Also, the trade
unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience."
"To make matters worse, the Canada Revenue Agency
seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the
country illegally with endangered species."
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years
for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and
a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in
wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to
destroy the world?"
"NO!" Said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it."
living in Canada, and said, "Once again, the earth has
become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of
all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of
every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints saying, "You have six months
to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for
40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
weeping in his yard... but no Ark.
"Noah," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
Where's the ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have
changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing
with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
the right limitations. We had to go to the Development
Appeal Board for a decision."
"Then, Transport Canada and the Departments of
Highways and Hydro demanded a bond be posted for
the future costs of moving power, trolley and other
overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's
move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming
to us, but they would hear nothing of it."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I
tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the
wood to save the owls. But no go!"
"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an
animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining
wild animals against their will. As well, they argued, the
accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and
inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."
"Then Environment Canada ruled that I couldn't build
the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact
study on your proposed flood."
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human
Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm
supposed to hire for my building crew. Also, the trade
unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience."
"To make matters worse, the Canada Revenue Agency
seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the
country illegally with endangered species."
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years
for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and
a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in
wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to
destroy the world?"
"NO!" Said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it."
Mar 25th 2007, 3:11 am
#4
Born again atheist
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Europe (to be specified).
Posts: 30,259
