DandNHill

Haha. My oldest two are 25 and 23. Can't imagine being able to get them to do something they don't want to!

Oink

Maybe give them an ultimatum, it's graduate school or independence? What about one of them year Commonwealth visas? Aren't they good for a couple of years?

Shard

On the odd occasion when I have asked my twelve year old to empty the dishwasher, he's done so without complaint, but 'without enthusiasm' either. No other demands have been placed, but Bristol's experience is making me think twice. He has been taught to not leave clothes on the floor. Very impressed with the responsibilities of some of BE-mini's are making in their household. Food for thought.

BristolUK

I imagine some will assume once you "get it right" bringing up kids in this particular respect, then it will remain so, rules established and all that.

Despite being one of four brothers all brought up the same way and each of us being very different, I would still have believed that with "my" two stepkids. But...

Having their grandmother coming to live with us, one starting work and still working, while the other worked for a short time a few years ago, but not since, changes things. As does losing their mum and having the iron fist replaced with my velvet glove.

Teaandtoday5

This^

They have a pretty full schedule of activities/paid work, homework/instrument practice. I'm not someone who likes being tied to a routine of housework, so if I don't feel like doing something straight away then tomorrow will do. I certainly don't want to make sure 2 or 3 other people are sticking to some sort of list of obligations.

I remember feeling absolute resentment when drying dishes (dirty dishes made me want to throw up so my sister always washed) when I was a kid. Obviously I now know this feeling was completely unjustified, but it was how I felt at the time. As a result I don't enforce chores in a set pattern, but they help when asked, without resentment.

As a result they are probably less competent domestically competent than I would have been at their age, but they'll learn when they have to. None of it is rocket science after all.

My only bug bears are clothes on the floor, and their steadfast belief in the magical capability of the dishwasher to load itself with items left in its approximate vicinity.

Teaandtoday5

Love the idea that anyone might empty a dishwasher with enthusiasm.

Almost Canadian

And the excuse for that is?

Shard

All this pretty much sums up my mentality too.

BristolUK

How best to describe it....there are leftovers from learning difficulties and ADHD as a child.

Needs something like UK's New Deal but there is little of that here (he's had what there is) unless there's financial support that they try to get you off, but he's not on any kind of financial support.

In the absence of anything like New Deal, he applies for jobs and that's as far as it gets.

Has done kitchen work - considered too slow, pizza dough making but laid off when the place closed, did temporary work on credit card activation.

Almost Canadian

Fair enough

Pizzawheel

I put a "waking up" and "going to bed" list up. When my son has to run up the stairs three times to do 3 chores I point out that's what the list is for.

On the other hand I've also been teaching them Critical Path Analysis to improve our Alrm Clock -> departure time. So you can't blame the kids for everything.

Oink

At our mum's we were told to leave our clothes on the bedroom floor and not to stuff them into the closet.

Tirytory

My three have jobs to do.. the oldest two get pocket money for certain jobs. The eldest 11 sorts the recycling out and puts it out on bin day, the middle feeds the dog. That's their pocket money jobs.

They also have household jobs, bedrooms tidy, lay the table for dinner and clear up after, dishwasher (youngest loves doing it, he's 2) and put their own clothes away.

scrubbedexpat091

My sister did all of hers growing up. I was too busy with school work so had few to do since it took away from school work.

bats

Nah, my reason is that I'm just irresponsible.

Thinking about it I did do the dishes most days, mowed the lawn sometimes, walked the dog often, cooked dinner, went to work with my dad quite often, cleared up, dusted, vacuumed. They weren't paid chores or specifically allocated to one person, it was just what we did.