A man escapes from prison where he had been kept for 15 years.As he runs away,he finds a house and breaks into it,looking for money and guns,but only finds a young couple in bed.He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him up in a chair.While tying the girl up to the bed.he gets on top of her,kisses her on the neck,then gets up and goes to the bathroom.While he's in there,the husband tells his wife,Listen,this gut is an escaped prissoner,look at his clothes! He porbably spent lots of time in jail,and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex don't complain just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry,he'll kill us. Be strong, honey I love you. To which the wife responds, He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute,and asked if we kept vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too.

A belter Kate

Quality !!!



A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and
sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him looks down
and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound
testicles, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.
He says, "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you
say to me?"

The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and figured I'd
just give you the answers to the questions everyone always
asks me ..... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20
inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name
is Turner Brown.'

The small guy says: "Turner Brown!!!!!

"Sweet Jesus - I thought you said, 'Turn around.'"
_________________

they had me peeing myself ! excellent !!

This is not a joke, but being Welsh this just goes to prove the point why we are perceived as stupid.

Enjoy

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=8H8HnaTIcmk

Just pissed myself. The wife cant believe it was real.

And after discovering the truth, he still thought he should put it in the oven upside down

Well what can I say

Good one Kate

wish I could take the credit BUT since Ive been up at nights waiting for the Lloyd piss taker (and I'll catch the bugger) I have been looking into cheeky monkey's jokes and boy did they make my nights go easyer,yous guys get the chance go in to the web site I tell ya it will soon have you all laughing.

Yeah we need that at the moment

you get them and make sure it hurts

thats the plan all sorts of idea's have gone through my head what to do with them when I confront them

DO I wallop them with a base ball bat?
DO I jump on their back and bite their ears off
DO I kick them in the goolies and then whack them with the base ball bat
OR? SHOULD I just call the police?
NAH. to easy

I say kick them in the goolies,that will hurt

Police o they are the ones that are in timmie's
hope you live near one...if not good luck with plan B

Give them one of me, all the stuff they have, they could have start a business :curse::curse:

Will answer your book later my dear....off to get kids up and we have spare pages in the memory book, so another day out is on the cards

Oh that's good