Only a "Newf" would think this up.


"FREE SEX WITH FILL-UP"

A gas station in Newfoundland was trying to increase it's sales so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."

Soon a local Newfy pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.

The owner told him pick a number from 1 to 10, if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

The Newfy then guessed 8, the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."

A week later, the same Newfy, along with a buddy, pulled in for a fill-up, again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

The Newfy guessed 2 this time, again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the Newfy said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."

His buddy replied, "No it ain't Billy, it's not rigged, my wife won twice last week."

LOL, quite clever really


Here's a conversation between two Newfie guys:

1st guy: M R Ducks
2nd guy: M R Not
1st guy: M R Sew
1st guy: Cedar Wings?
2nd guy: Whale Oil Beef Hooked!
2nd guy: M R Ducks!

Hmmm...
Do Newfies come with a Newfie-English dictionary?

I thought the 'Whale Oil Beef Hooked' was the St Patricks Day expression to get an instant 'Irish' accent and accepted in the pubs!!

Yes: http://www.heritage.nf.ca/dictionary...x/default.html

When I first started attending the (extended) family get-togethers after moving here I did wonder aloud whether the family could come with simultaneous translation.........Now I have attuned to the accent and its best kind.

Newfoundlanders (the term Newfie is too often used derogatitvely) have thick skins and excellent senses of humour. They need it being the butt of 'mainlander's' jokes, most of which would just be as funny/bigotted* if you swapped 'Newfie' for 'Irish' or 'Redneck' . The joke is of course on the rest of Canada who are not fortunate enough to live here.

* delete as appropriate.

1st guy: Them Are Ducks
2nd guy: Them Are Not
1st guy: Them are, so!
1st guy: See the Wings?
2nd guy: Well I'll be F*****d!
2nd guy: Them ARE Ducks!

That help?

Does anyone remember this one?

Or is this another for the over fifty crowd?

Si senor, der dago
Forti loris inaro
Demant loris, demis trux
Fulla cowsan ensan dux.

(NOT over fifty, I hasten to add!!! )

Close???

Turned fifty this year?????

Turns 51 next week?

If you really wants to know, the Newfie equivalent of this forum is:

http://www.downhomer.com/kitchen

many of the threads there are written in newf. Among them:

"Gonna Be a lil Sinful and ....."

"Fried Chicken...What's The Best Kind?"

"Talking about sins - Is it a sin fer a born-again believer in Christ to buy lottery tickets"

"My Lard ....what's up wit da wedder???? "

Somewhere on that site there's a list of Newfoundland expressions considered obscure by Newfies(!)

That helped, thankyouverymuch!

But why can't they just speak Norwenglish, like I do - would be sooooo much easier to understand!