Robin (The Gadget family)

When my dad died last year mum just happened to mention that they followed the philosophy of humanism and that she was arranging a woodland burial. This was the first time that I became aware of my parents fitting into any particular category as far as their beliefs, ethics, morals and way of conducting themselves throughout life, was concerned.

So I did a bit of research and found The British Humanist Association and today I checked out The Humanist Association of Canada.

I hadn't realised that this way of living fits with the way that I think about life and how I live it, or try to, as a result of my upbringing.
I didn't believe that there existed a label that would fit so appropriately, I'd never really looked into our family way of thinking. We just are the way we are.

No one else I know or have asked knows what I'm on about when I mention the 'Humanism' word, so I thought I'd provoke a debate here and see what comes along.

Are there any views out there on this?

Is this too deep a subject for the Maple Lounge?

Mrs Madmac

My friends recently had a death in the family and because they were not a religious family they decided on a humanist funeral.

By all accounts it was far more in keeping with what they felt a standard funeral would be and I do believe it helped them with the grieving process.

dingbat

I was raised a Catholic, but due to what I do for a living, much of the way I live my life more properly fits into the philosophy of humanism. It can be a touchy subject in some parts over here, because the overtly traditional or even fundamentalist religious aspect appears to be an integral component of many people's lives and communities. I know when I deal with abuse cases in deeply religious families, I can often get past the religious barrier by using a humanist approach. I have a great respect for humanism and no, I think by it's very essence the subject matter is not too deep for the Maple Leaf.

Judy in Calgary

Although Unitarian Churches adhere to what they refer to as principles, although they don't have a common creed or dogma, and although their members have a wide variety of individual beliefs, a large percentage of Unitarians in Canada are humanists.

I see from your profile, Robin, that you are heading for Black Creek, BC. In case this is of any interest to you, there is a Unitarian Fellowship in Comox.

purple80

Cripes...
I think I'm a humanist, and I didn't even know it...........

Like you I have never questioned what I am, I just am me, I have not particularly followed my parents example, but I have inherited their morals and attitudes.

I firmly believe that life is what you make of it and it should never have a negative effect on somebody else.

I am attempting to bring up my children with the same awareness, that you can't sit around and moan, you have to do things, make them happen live your dreams, to be caring and considerate towards everyone and everything....

Personally I hate labels...I prefer to think of myself as being socially responsible......

Charlie
Sending the entire world a hug

Robin (The Gadget family)

Yes this was so appropriate for us too, in a funny kind of way. Dad used to say that whatever we chucked overboard had to be biodegradable, so how fitting that he was buried in a wicker casket in a woodland grove, planted with bulbs and trees by families, all biodegradable, the cycle of life complete. My heart is never heavy with loss, only with pride that he guided us through our childhood by living a dream.

Are you a child protection/domestic violence/social worker? Respect to you. Emotionally tough job.

Thanks Judy, you always manage to find some useful info. I've not been one to join a group of any kind, though the Unitarians seem to be like minded. I appreciate the link and have saved it to my favourites.
Totally agree, shame that my teenage son rebels against the 'caring and considerate' part at the moment!

Judy in Calgary

It was only relatively recently that I heard about this concept of a natural burial. Or perhaps I should say that it was only recently that I heard about it being practiced in western society. For the Swazi people amongst whom I grew up in Africa it was the norm. As soon as I heard about it, it resonated with me. The idea clicked, and I just knew, "That's what I want."

betterskierthanthewife

My mum had a humanist funeral. It was conducted very well and the lady from the local humanist association was a real help to my dad. It's good to have an alternative if you're not religious.

Robin (The Gadget family)

Well, not that I would know about it, but it's what I would like too. I like the idea because my family won't have to worry about conforming to a particular type of ceremony. They can choose what they feel would be fitting. It's not expensive either, cost mum just £1,700 all told. A catholic friend said that her dad's funeral cost £7,000, including a plot within a South London cematary!

Quakers also use the burial grounds that we used. We took a picnic tea and shared it with the friendly German lady that owned the site in her own garden, and were lucky enough to have a sunny June afternoon. Mum has since returned and planted bulbs for the spring.

Rich_007

Cool - anything that takes people away from mainstream Bible'n'tub'thumping'n'fire'n'brimstone and lunacy/mind control gets my thumbs up.

Rich
[part Jedi, part wiccan, part buddhist, part animist]

Rich_007

Ya, we're just water and a few minerals after all. A heap of dried dust once all is over and done with. When I pop my clogs I think I'll do the buddhist thing of having my body ripped to bits by the crows from atop a rock on a distant mountain top. Least it will save MOH a few bucks and she can buy some new clothes with the $$$ difference, she's always moaning about going short in that dept.

Rich.

moonraker

At the risk of placing my head above the parapet and getting it knocked off, I have to confess that I am a Humanist celebrant, trained and accredited by the British Humanist Association. I conduct around 100 funerals a year, some of which are woodland burials, and a number of Humanist weddings and baby namings. In Britain these funerals are becoming increasingly popular and many funeral directors are geared to contacting a Humanist to conduct a ceremony if the deceased, (in advance of their death) or their family ask for a non religious ceremony.

It is important to say that you do not have to have been a Humanist to have a Humanist ceremony; it is a ceremony with no religious content. Instead of hymns, and prayers there will be instead a tribute reflecting the life of the person, and music, readings and poetry chosen in conjunction with the family. There is actually no requirement to have a funeral ceremony at all, or to use an officiant/celebrant. I have on occasion just acted as an advisor, and the family have conducted the ceremony themselves, though for obvious reasons this is quite rare.

The Humanist Association of Canada have a few trained people who do offer this type of ceremony though my understanding is that they conduct a lot more Humanist weddings (they are legal in Canada but not yet in Britain sadly) and naming ceremonies than funerals. Here in Nova Scotia I have found no evidence of any interest in Humanist ceremonies due primarily to traditional conservative values. Most funeral directors seem to to default to a church minister as they did in Britain until fairly recently. What motivated change in Britain was public demand so perhaps it will change here too. After all there is choice in almost every other aspect of life, why then should there not be choice when it comes to how we plan our deaths.

Judy in Calgary

Cool.

Craftybanshee

Tsk! You're so dramatic!

Robin (The Gadget family)

My dad would have got a kick out of the fact that he has provided a rich compost for the woodland.
Up until his funeral I wanted to be buried at sea, plummeted to the depths bound and weighted, and food for the fish, but this would have been quite costly, and most likely not legal here. I wouldn't want my funeral to be more of a burden than necessary, now I can rest assured that whenever my number is up, my family will have a plan of action to help ease them through their grieving, and will know what to do.

So, all your OH will have to consider is transport to a mountain top where there is no chance of someone finding your body and a police investigation being launched! Wonder if that would be legal and where?