* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
* Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
* During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
* Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
* Be happy to see him.
* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
* Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
* Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
* Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
* A good wife always knows her place.

Yeah right

This is from the 1950's isn't it? Better build a time machine

Can someone add this to the wiki?

My hubby put a copy of this on the wall at our first house together as a joke and just looked at it and tutted if I was ever "out of line". It got accidently binned when we left the house.

There has to be one for husbands doesn't there?????

There has to be one for husbands doesn't there?????

Now that's just being ridiculous

Found one

A good husbands guide


 Have dinner ordered or ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for her return. This is a way of letting her know that you have been thinking about her and are concerned about her needs and not just sex. Most women are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially one she doesn’t have to pick up) is part of the warm welcome needed.
 Insist from the time she comes home that she is beautiful and sexy without inferring the though of having intercourse.
 Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to meditate or masturbate whichever you prefer, so you will be refreshed when she arrives. Shave your 5 o’clock shadow and put a bit of aftershave on (not too much you don’t want to gag her). She has just been with a lot of work weary people.
 Be a little perky and a little more interesting for her. Her boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide that.
 Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your wife arrives home.
 Gather up schoolbooks, toys paper etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables.
 Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light the gas fireplace for her to unwind by. Your wife will feel she has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, careering for her comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Remember do not use this haven as a guide for sex.
 Be happy when you see her, smile she will always feel better when you smile.
 Greet her with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please her.
 Listen to her. You may have a dozen important things to tell her but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let her talk first – remember her topics of conversation are more important than yours.
 Make the evening hers. Never complain if she comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and her very real need to be at home to relax. Working in today’s society for women is one of the hardest tasks she will have. Always make her home a sanctuary and that will please you as well.
 Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your wife can renew herself in body and spirit. Do not pressure her for sexual intercourse it will ruin her tranquility.
 Don’t greet her with complaints and problems.
 Don’t complain if she’s late home for dinner or even if she stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what she might have gone through that day.
 Make her comfortable. Have her lean back in a comfortable chair or have her lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for her.
 Arrange her pillow and offer to take off her shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
 Don’t ask her questions about her actions or question her judgment or integrity. Remember, she is the mistress of the house and as such will always exercise her will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question her.
 A good husband always knows his place.

I was hoping for something more original though - so I'll keep looking....

Huh. Reading that, you'd sex that all we sex about is sex.

Nah - this is a better one ... and I'll stop now... my job here is done.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and may represent the only good thing that has come out of the relationship thus far. Give her a reason to continue having sex with you.

Make the evening her’s. There is no time like the present to watch Sex and the City, and your fears of her being inspired to a life of sexual promiscuity are simply your masculine insecurities on display.

Have dinner ready. Call KFC or Swiss Chalet well ahead of her arrival and lay it all out like you made it yourself. Most women want a man who doesn’t depend on his mommy anymore. This will finally show her that you can stop playing Xbox if you really have to. She will appreciate your effort in the matter, and may let you watch Terminator 3... as long as America’s Next Top Model doesn’t come on.

Prepare yourself. Let’s face it, you stink. You’re no Matthew
McConaughey, so your natural body odour just won’t do. Try taking a shower. You’d be surprised at how good a little soap will make you feel. (Warning: Sexpert Sue Johanson warns against the use of soap as a lubricant).

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for her. Pretending you’re a homosexual may lead to more invigorating conversation, and remove her need to go for coffees with Julian, her gay best friend (GBF) that you can’t help but feel jealous of.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house, making sure that before she gets home nothing will disgust her. Clean fresh underwear strewn about may be OK, but any with skid marks are sure to be a turn off.

Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dishcloth over the toilet seat. You know she likes surprises, but not that type.

Over the cooler months of the year, you should prepare and light a fire for her to unwind by after her hard day of work. She will feel like she has reached a climax in satisfaction, and for once, you can take responsibility for it.

Be happy to see her. Greet her with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please her. If she feels the need to nag you about how the dishes are in the sink, allow it. Her criticisms are deserved and necessary in your pursuit of becoming the perfect and infallible man she
deserves.

Listen to her. You may have a dozen important things to tell her, like why you think Payton is a
better quarterback than Eli Manning, but your time to talk is when she needs to know how great she is. Remember, you will never know what it’s like to deliver a child, so you will forever be indebted to her.

Your goal: Remember how lucky you are that you’re married, and that without her you’d be back in your parents’ basement playing World of Warcraft with your Dorito crusted fingers.

Don’t greet her with complaints and problems. It’s simple. Shut up.

Don’t complain if she’s late getting home for dinner or even if she stays out all night with Julian. Just think of all the gossip she may have heard today that needs to be promptly discussed ad nauseum.

Make her comfortable. Have her lean back in the most comfortable chair in the house, or have her lie down in the bedroom without attempting to have sex with her. Have a cool or warm drink ready for her, and try to say as little as possible.

Arrange her pillow and offer to take off her shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and Sean Connery-like voice.

Don’t ask her questions about her actions or question her judgment or integrity. Remember, she is a woman and you will never
understand that. You have no right to question her, seeing as you are an emotionally unavailable bastard.

A good husband always knows his place.

I think this comes from the June Cleaver of pleasing a husband. The putting a ribbon in your hair and being a little gay and more interesting for the husband certainly brings up some images.

The last bit about being master of the house etc, is rather Duggeresque.

No reason to post a duplicate comment

oh if only

Hahaha. They said "gay".