We are going for a visit to the UK in the end of November. Our first visit since we moved here and mainly to show the new baby to the family
(Rosie born 7th Oct). Now I made a list what I "need" to bring back e.g tins of Roses and Quality Street, battenburg cake for the neighbour .
What would you bring back that fits in a suitcase ????

Clothes, cheese, beer, chocolate, newspapers, videos, literally the kitchen sink.

Cricket equipment. You can't get anything decent for a decent price over here.

200 lamberts and 1ltr of Whisky

this sounds a bit pedestrian but we have brought back duvet covers and bedding. On the good stuff side, some real Branston and a packet of custard creams for the afternoon cuppa

Yorkshire tea bags, 1kg bottle of salad cream, latest England jersey, kids clothes from Primark & gillette razor blades 1/2 the price. I always do a quick price check of key purchases in Canada before I go home and then see if it's worth buying from the UK.

A euro millions lottery ticket.

What are you allowed to take back, with regards to foodstuff?

I presume chocolate and sweets are ok.

Maybe I've been watching border patrol too much

I brought a large jar of proper pickled onions and a squeezable jar of marmite when I went to the UK earlier this year.

My lovely best friends who had to stay behind? Or did you just mean food?

LOL, just reread OP's post, don't think my friends would fit in a suitcase!!

Doesn't too much come out?

Usually the opposite, I transfer Mayonnaise into a squeezy bottle and you actually end up using less because you can spread it out thinner.

Congratulations on the arrival of Rosie
I've just been back and in my suitcase on my return trip was:
LOTS of nice lingerie
LOTS of stuff from Debenhams
Thorntons chocolates
Branston Pickle
Cadbury's heroes

I left with 14kg in my case and returned with almost 23kg

No. It does a pretty good job. Better than those little jars anyway you get here - they are very expensive and only seem to last 4 slices of toast