Geordie Lass

Hey

A lot of you on this bit of the forum won't know me - I have only just started posting on this bit but post on the immigration and general Canada bit but didn't feel like this post belonged on either of those.

So we are waiting for the LMO to come through (fingers crossed) and my feet are a bit colder than they were a month ago...

We are having friends visit on weekends and when they leave I am thinking that I won't see them for a while and some I know I won't see unless I come back to the UK after leaving.

So whilst the whole adventure is exciting - it's also cloaked by a huge sadness at leaving my friends and family. UK itself I won't miss (don't think I will anyway) but my friends are a different matter.

Any words of wisdom out there?

Tangram

Decide now, it's a costly business. Only you can do that.

Geordie Lass

Fair point... I have decided and it's something I want to do - just looking for words of wisdom on dealing with the ambivalence of the feelings that go with such a huge move.

Simon Legree

Real friends, as opposed to acquaintances, are friends for life. At least that's how I have found it.
In this age of technology you can be in touch regularly and at little or no cost.
Trans-Atlantic flights are affordable by most folks once in a while
Acquaintances or the other hand are just that. You can usually find them just about anywhere. They come and they go, never to be heard from again.
You have to decide.
Best of luck with your adventure.

mardyarse

Trying not to sound like a "Hallmark" card, but just think of all the new friends you'll be making too!

snowcandy

Hi, I think it was only when we started to say goodbye to family just before we left that it started to get really emotional. Because we have friends scattered all over the UK we started goodbyes about 3 months before we actually left, which helped as we still had a while to go before we actually left the country. The worst goodbyes were actually to the kids' school friends in the playground!

I would say just try to focus on your exciting new life and don't keep thinking too much about what you are leaving behind.

I would also add that you will soon find out who your real friends are when you emigrate. Some people you leave behind soon start to lose interest in your new life, unless they are hoping for free accomodation when they come out on holiday here

crazydaving

Hi! This type of feeling is absolutely normal, and I am sure a lot of readers on here will sympathise a great deal with how you're feeling. Just try to step out of your mind a bit and away from the emotion of it all, and remind yourself of those reasons why you wanted to go through it all in the first place.

Also, try not to think too far ahead in terms of what may or may not happen...what happens if you stay in the UK and for some reason your friends either move abroad or you all fall out? You'll probably be kicking yourself for not taking your (possibly only) chance to live that Canadian dream of yours.

Like another poster said, you can keep your friends AND have the dream, just use Skype and badger them when you miss them! I move in two years, and will no doubt be taking my own advice. Either way, take a deep breath, and think positive!

Howefamily

I found that the leadup is the worse part and as others have said, in this day and age with technology you can keep your friends.

It is hard at times but its worth it (for me anyway)

kirstybowles

Hi Geordie Lass,

We are moving as soon as our house sells, we have our PR so it's just a matter of waiting x

I feel the same as you I'm really excited to be going, and all the posibilities it may lead to, but, like you I am worried about leaving my friends and family at lot!

We have seen much more of the family recentley as we live an hour and a half away already, and it's been really nice x I have a really close group of friends too so it's going to be hard.

I console myself with the fact that Canada for us is going to be such a fun and exciting journey and I make friends easily, I can stay in touch with everyone that matters and we have already had several friends booking their slot to visit even though we are not there yet lol x and the family have all promised to visit (we'll see lol)
The best part is we are going to throw a huge party for everyone and just have a really good knees up to say goodbye!

Bali2010

+1....

I haven't crossed continents yet but have definitley allowed a busy life to prevent regular meet ups with those uni friends scattered round the uk...and yet when I do see them, we still have things in common (we seem to have developed new but similar interests since uni) & enjoy our time together even if years apart.

Stalkbook / skype helping too.

Skype very important in keeping up with my family already in BC.

honeybunny2011

The good byes are SOOOO hard, I feel your pain on that side of things. But you gotta look forward, remind yourself why your moving in the first place. I havnt seen some friends/family in 3 years and I still get days where I am missing them badly. I have a 13 hour time difference here so its not always easy to keep in touch. Hope it all works out for you. You'll never know unless you try. As the saying goes - get busy living or get busy dying. Those that matter will understand, those that dont understand dont matter.

Hayden4560

Your feelings are perfectly normal. I left UK for the first time in 94, went back for a few years then left again in 2004 and I can honestly tell you that "life goes on" life goes on for your friends and family and life goes on for you!

As others have said your true friends will remain true and the others will fall by the wayside as the years go by. I recently met up with a good friend that I haven't actually seen in 8 years (we have kept in touch) and it was like we saw each other yesterday. Facebook, Skype, email, phone....these days you can stay in touch as much as you (or they) want to stay in touch.

There will be times when you hear about a special birthday party, a wedding even Christmas celebrations and you so badly want to be there too that you obsess and imagine who is there, what they are doing and all the fun you are missing out on. But then it's over and everything is back to normal.........see life goes on!

It does get easier, when you do go back you'll be surprised at how little has actually changed and how easy it is to step back into the lives of the people you really care about and those that really care about you. Hopefully you will be so busy that time will fly and before you know it you will start making new friends. I have moved on a lot and I still have my really good friends in UK but I also have some really good friends in several other countries too!

Just keep reminding yourself why you made the move..........

scribe123

I have nothing much to add to the above other than the distance isn't always negative.

I have a friend over there at the moment who (if I understand correctly) hardly ever spoke to their mother, but now speaks to her at least once a week on Skype. They haven't been this close for a long time and they have stated if it wasn't for the move to Canada they would still have their old UK "barely on speaking terms" relationship.

Geordie Lass

Thanks everyone for all your kind words. Has made me feel a lot better...

Gotta love this forum!

simon876

Say goodbye to friends, you say?

I knew there was something we missed.