Funny for all with Dogs or Cats
Jul 3rd 2007, 2:47 pm
#1
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Joined: May 2007
Location: Okotoks and settled.
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Funny for all with Dogs or Cats
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't smoke or drink
7. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
8. Don't want to wear your clothes
9. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.
And finally,
10. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't smoke or drink
7. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
8. Don't want to wear your clothes
9. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.
And finally,
10. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
Jul 3rd 2007, 4:05 pm
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Nottinghamshire, UK
Posts: 138
Re: Funny for all with Dogs or Cats
I loved reading this. 
...especially the last line.
...especially the last line.
Jul 3rd 2007, 4:13 pm
#3
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Joined: May 2007
Location: Okotoks and settled.
Posts: 1,739
Re: Funny for all with Dogs or Cats
I read through it, and 99% of it related to the the menace puppy Tiah
Jul 3rd 2007, 4:50 pm
#4
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Joined: Nov 2006
Location: NS
Posts: 1,212
Re: Funny for all with Dogs or Cats
Cheers Sharon for sharing this, I loved it 
Jul 3rd 2007, 6:34 pm
#5
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Regina Beach, Saskatchewan
Posts: 3,885
Re: Funny for all with Dogs or Cats
Jul 3rd 2007, 7:03 pm
#6
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 2,484
Re: Funny for all with Dogs or Cats
wow
must email my mother a copy....thats her cat
oops sorry my sister (so she says) :curse::curse:
haha
made my night thanks
must email my mother a copy....thats her cat
oops sorry my sister (so she says) :curse::curse:
haha
made my night thanks
