Fictional Accountant - Recruits Junior
#1
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Imagine you’re a banker, or some other finance type who happens to work in the Capital city in your county or province. Your job title is Assistant Vice President of Retail Business Banking (or something equally impressive). The truth is, though, you’re a rank and file accountant.
You’ve spent all day in the office, pretending you have a clue what the hell is going on and mindlessly typing numbers you don’t understand into an excel spread sheet you couldn’t care less about. You think you understand it all, but you don’t really. You’ve been using the latest buzzwords you read in PoshFinanceTwit magazine in a meeting you attended because you hoped it made you sound clever (it didn’t). But you’ve been lucky today. The ‘Head of Something You Don’t Understand’ acknowledged you exist when you bumped into him at the water cooler. Better still, the fit bird who works in Consumer Lending Analytics (who knows as little about what she does as you do) smiled at you (it’s only because you’d forgotten to do up your flies after you’d been ‘pee pee’ and she noticed). But better still, you’ve been promoted to VP of Retail Business Banking. The trouble is, now you need someone to do all the stuff you didn’t understand so that can do even less work while looking up expensive watches on the internet (because clearly a man in your position needs a chronometer the size of a dinner plate)
Where do you go to unwind, celebrate and have a drink after such a good day? Unfortunately you don’t have a wife, or even a steady girlfriend, because you a vainglorious plop-wipe with all the redeeming personal qualities of an intimate fungal infection. Obviously you’ll need to go to a bar where you can brag about how good you are to a receptive listener. Of course, you’ve also got to consider recruiting your replacement. He’ll have very big shoes to fill. And it will be a he. There’s no sense appointing a fitty to be your direct report. The company’s HR policy won’t allow you to get a sniff in so it would be a waste of time. Probably best to employ someone you get along with. He’ll talk about sports and agree with you as to who the best player in the league is. He’ll also nod agreeably about how, if you hadn’t been such a finance whizz, you’d have been a pro footballer. In fact, this is the person you need to talk about your day with tonight. You can celebrate and recruit all at the same time.
But where do you go for this drink? If you work in Canary wharf in London you’d go to Reuters Plaza in Canary Wharf. But you’re not in London, you’re in Canada. In fact you’re in any one of the cities below:
Vancouver
Calgary
Edmonton
Winnipeg
Toronto,
Mississauga
Halifax
Montreal
Where does my ‘fictional’ Accountant go to brag about his brilliant day and find his heir apparent?
You’ve spent all day in the office, pretending you have a clue what the hell is going on and mindlessly typing numbers you don’t understand into an excel spread sheet you couldn’t care less about. You think you understand it all, but you don’t really. You’ve been using the latest buzzwords you read in PoshFinanceTwit magazine in a meeting you attended because you hoped it made you sound clever (it didn’t). But you’ve been lucky today. The ‘Head of Something You Don’t Understand’ acknowledged you exist when you bumped into him at the water cooler. Better still, the fit bird who works in Consumer Lending Analytics (who knows as little about what she does as you do) smiled at you (it’s only because you’d forgotten to do up your flies after you’d been ‘pee pee’ and she noticed). But better still, you’ve been promoted to VP of Retail Business Banking. The trouble is, now you need someone to do all the stuff you didn’t understand so that can do even less work while looking up expensive watches on the internet (because clearly a man in your position needs a chronometer the size of a dinner plate)
Where do you go to unwind, celebrate and have a drink after such a good day? Unfortunately you don’t have a wife, or even a steady girlfriend, because you a vainglorious plop-wipe with all the redeeming personal qualities of an intimate fungal infection. Obviously you’ll need to go to a bar where you can brag about how good you are to a receptive listener. Of course, you’ve also got to consider recruiting your replacement. He’ll have very big shoes to fill. And it will be a he. There’s no sense appointing a fitty to be your direct report. The company’s HR policy won’t allow you to get a sniff in so it would be a waste of time. Probably best to employ someone you get along with. He’ll talk about sports and agree with you as to who the best player in the league is. He’ll also nod agreeably about how, if you hadn’t been such a finance whizz, you’d have been a pro footballer. In fact, this is the person you need to talk about your day with tonight. You can celebrate and recruit all at the same time.
But where do you go for this drink? If you work in Canary wharf in London you’d go to Reuters Plaza in Canary Wharf. But you’re not in London, you’re in Canada. In fact you’re in any one of the cities below:
Vancouver
Calgary
Edmonton
Winnipeg
Toronto,
Mississauga
Halifax
Montreal
Where does my ‘fictional’ Accountant go to brag about his brilliant day and find his heir apparent?
#2
Imagine you’re a banker, or some other finance type who happens to work in the Capital city in your county or province. Your job title is Assistant Vice President of Retail Business Banking (or something equally impressive). The truth is, though, you’re a rank and file accountant.
You’ve spent all day in the office, pretending you have a clue what the hell is going on and mindlessly typing numbers you don’t understand into an excel spread sheet you couldn’t care less about. You think you understand it all, but you don’t really. You’ve been using the latest buzzwords you read in PoshFinanceTwit magazine in a meeting you attended because you hoped it made you sound clever (it didn’t). But you’ve been lucky today. The ‘Head of Something You Don’t Understand’ acknowledged you exist when you bumped into him at the water cooler. Better still, the fit bird who works in Consumer Lending Analytics (who knows as little about what she does as you do) smiled at you (it’s only because you’d forgotten to do up your flies after you’d been ‘pee pee’ and she noticed). But better still, you’ve been promoted to VP of Retail Business Banking. The trouble is, now you need someone to do all the stuff you didn’t understand so that can do even less work while looking up expensive watches on the internet (because clearly a man in your position needs a chronometer the size of a dinner plate)
Where do you go to unwind, celebrate and have a drink after such a good day? Unfortunately you don’t have a wife, or even a steady girlfriend, because you a vainglorious plop-wipe with all the redeeming personal qualities of an intimate fungal infection. Obviously you’ll need to go to a bar where you can brag about how good you are to a receptive listener. Of course, you’ve also got to consider recruiting your replacement. He’ll have very big shoes to fill. And it will be a he. There’s no sense appointing a fitty to be your direct report. The company’s HR policy won’t allow you to get a sniff in so it would be a waste of time. Probably best to employ someone you get along with. He’ll talk about sports and agree with you as to who the best player in the league is. He’ll also nod agreeably about how, if you hadn’t been such a finance whizz, you’d have been a pro footballer. In fact, this is the person you need to talk about your day with tonight. You can celebrate and recruit all at the same time.
But where do you go for this drink? If you work in Canary wharf in London you’d go to Reuters Plaza in Canary Wharf. But you’re not in London, you’re in Canada. In fact you’re in any one of the cities below:
Vancouver
Calgary
Edmonton
Winnipeg
Toronto,
Mississauga
Halifax
Montreal
Where does my ‘fictional’ Accountant go to brag about his brilliant day and find his heir apparent?
You’ve spent all day in the office, pretending you have a clue what the hell is going on and mindlessly typing numbers you don’t understand into an excel spread sheet you couldn’t care less about. You think you understand it all, but you don’t really. You’ve been using the latest buzzwords you read in PoshFinanceTwit magazine in a meeting you attended because you hoped it made you sound clever (it didn’t). But you’ve been lucky today. The ‘Head of Something You Don’t Understand’ acknowledged you exist when you bumped into him at the water cooler. Better still, the fit bird who works in Consumer Lending Analytics (who knows as little about what she does as you do) smiled at you (it’s only because you’d forgotten to do up your flies after you’d been ‘pee pee’ and she noticed). But better still, you’ve been promoted to VP of Retail Business Banking. The trouble is, now you need someone to do all the stuff you didn’t understand so that can do even less work while looking up expensive watches on the internet (because clearly a man in your position needs a chronometer the size of a dinner plate)
Where do you go to unwind, celebrate and have a drink after such a good day? Unfortunately you don’t have a wife, or even a steady girlfriend, because you a vainglorious plop-wipe with all the redeeming personal qualities of an intimate fungal infection. Obviously you’ll need to go to a bar where you can brag about how good you are to a receptive listener. Of course, you’ve also got to consider recruiting your replacement. He’ll have very big shoes to fill. And it will be a he. There’s no sense appointing a fitty to be your direct report. The company’s HR policy won’t allow you to get a sniff in so it would be a waste of time. Probably best to employ someone you get along with. He’ll talk about sports and agree with you as to who the best player in the league is. He’ll also nod agreeably about how, if you hadn’t been such a finance whizz, you’d have been a pro footballer. In fact, this is the person you need to talk about your day with tonight. You can celebrate and recruit all at the same time.
But where do you go for this drink? If you work in Canary wharf in London you’d go to Reuters Plaza in Canary Wharf. But you’re not in London, you’re in Canada. In fact you’re in any one of the cities below:
Vancouver
Calgary
Edmonton
Winnipeg
Toronto,
Mississauga
Halifax
Montreal
Where does my ‘fictional’ Accountant go to brag about his brilliant day and find his heir apparent?
#4
In Calgary there is no particular district. Downtown isn't that large and their choice would depend upon what floats their boat. As many on here have mentioned, downtown is usually deserted not long after 7:30 p.m. most evenings.
#5
Lost in BE Cyberspace










Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 21,578
From: Somewhere between Vancouver & St Johns











Earls seems to be a bit more up market for the suits to congregate after a hard day at the office. Im sure some prefer a Moxies lounge as well or even the Keg lounge.
#6
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Edit: I assume you're talking about Vancouver based on your location details?
#7
Lost in BE Cyberspace










Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 21,578
From: Somewhere between Vancouver & St Johns











Most of those cities have the 3 locations as mentioned. Some will use the pubs that may exist in a downtown area.Earls girls are a lot more classier than the Hooters chicks.
#8
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 272











In that case, lets bring it back to areas? So I used the example of Reuters Plaza in Canary Wharf (loads of suited bell-wipes trying to make themselves look special after work). Where's the equivalent areas in each of the above cities (i.e. where to the bankers and finance know-alls go to drink and look down their noses at people)?
Last edited by gb_griffiths; Apr 23rd 2013 at 7:21 am.
#10
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I'm considering a trip out to Canada on fact finding mission. Since accountancy and finance was not on the demand list under FSW one of my few options is to secure work overseas (or attempt to get on a post grad course).
I figure while I'm on a general sightseeing tour I could also utilise some of my time attempting to build contacts with relevant professional people (e.g. recruitment agencies, finance professionals and, if lucky, an actual employer or two).
As my most relevant employment background is in retail banking I am hoping there may be opportunities to spend a couple of pleasurable hours (after visiting the agencies and such like) drinking in some of the spots in these cities where people of my profession frequently hang out post work.
It's a rather cynical ploy to engineer some social opportunities to get a few contacts.
I figure while I'm on a general sightseeing tour I could also utilise some of my time attempting to build contacts with relevant professional people (e.g. recruitment agencies, finance professionals and, if lucky, an actual employer or two).
As my most relevant employment background is in retail banking I am hoping there may be opportunities to spend a couple of pleasurable hours (after visiting the agencies and such like) drinking in some of the spots in these cities where people of my profession frequently hang out post work.
It's a rather cynical ploy to engineer some social opportunities to get a few contacts.
#11
Binned by Muderators










Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 11,708
From: White Rock BC











In Vancouver the business distrcit is around Howe, Burrard, West Hastings and Dunsmuir.
#12
I'm considering a trip out to Canada on fact finding mission. Since accountancy and finance was not on the demand list under FSW one of my few options is to secure work overseas (or attempt to get on a post grad course).
I figure while I'm on a general sightseeing tour I could also utilise some of my time attempting to build contacts with relevant professional people (e.g. recruitment agencies, finance professionals and, if lucky, an actual employer or two).
As my most relevant employment background is in retail banking I am hoping there may be opportunities to spend a couple of pleasurable hours (after visiting the agencies and such like) drinking in some of the spots in these cities where people of my profession frequently hang out post work.
It's a rather cynical ploy to engineer some social opportunities to get a few contacts.
I figure while I'm on a general sightseeing tour I could also utilise some of my time attempting to build contacts with relevant professional people (e.g. recruitment agencies, finance professionals and, if lucky, an actual employer or two).
As my most relevant employment background is in retail banking I am hoping there may be opportunities to spend a couple of pleasurable hours (after visiting the agencies and such like) drinking in some of the spots in these cities where people of my profession frequently hang out post work.
It's a rather cynical ploy to engineer some social opportunities to get a few contacts.
Probably your best bet would be to use Linked-In to connect with some Canadian bankers in your area, find out where their usual "watering holes" are and arrange meet-up on your trip. Bay Street in Toronto is probably the closest incarnation to Canary Wharf / City, although a fraction of the size. If you're in retail banking though, it's probably not going to be that fruitful networking in the investment banking community?
You would definitely need to drop the sarcasm/irony if attempting to network with non-Brit Canadians, you would even be wise to drop any for of self-deprecation, as it is simply not understood.
#13










Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 14,227











There just isn't a lunch time or after work pub scene like there is in the UK and anyone expecting to make friends this way is probably going to be disappointed. There's certainly nothing like canada square in Vancouver; in fact I'd be surprised if it exists anywhere in canada.
#14
I used to work around there and still pop into the office every couple of months. The E&C is one of the most central and has a lot of business types in even though it's your typical boring vancouver "wings and burgers" pub.
There just isn't a lunch time or after work pub scene like there is in the UK and anyone expecting to make friends this way is probably going to be disappointed. There's certainly nothing like canada square in Vancouver; in fact I'd be surprised if it exists anywhere in canada.
There just isn't a lunch time or after work pub scene like there is in the UK and anyone expecting to make friends this way is probably going to be disappointed. There's certainly nothing like canada square in Vancouver; in fact I'd be surprised if it exists anywhere in canada.
#15
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Do Canadian’s not poke fun at themselves or others?
I’d kind of hoped they weren’t the full on self-promoters that are all too common in the UK (especially in finance and London) these days.
There just isn't a lunch time or after work pub scene like there is in the UK and anyone expecting to make friends this way is probably going to be disappointed. There's certainly nothing like canada square in Vancouver; in fact I'd be surprised if it exists anywhere in canada.
I’d kind of hoped they were social creatures like the Yanks, only without the stomp on your neck during the day attitude.
I think a recce trip would be well worth my time to try and suss out these moose-fuddling individuals.



