Elaine B.

Hi there

just feeling a little depressed at the minute. I moved to Canada from Belfast in September 1999 (almost 8 years to the day) and I'm feeling really homesick. My husband is Canadian as are my two children (a boy aged 4years and a girl aged 4 months). I'm on Maternity leave right now and I guess I'm really missing my family, plus my husband works back in the UK for weeks at a time.

I guess I'm just wondering if I'm crazy for even thinking I want to move back "home". Any thoughts?

iaink

Welcome Elaine!

When did you last visit the motherland? I suppose its natural to want more family arround with a new baby on the loose, we certainly felt that way in the early days.

Sometimes things are not how you nostalgically remember them though , and if you are anything like MrsK, being pregnant or post partum Im sure there could be all sorts of emotional hormonal turmoil going on too.

My advice is to go for a visit for a week or two when you can before making any big decisions, and consider the implications of being post partum and depressed... maybe there is something in that too that should be looked into.


PS technically like mine, your two kids are also British...and dont let them forget it

Lorna_D

Hello Elaine - please feel free to use us as a shoulder to cry on or to laugh with

Oh and welcome to BE

Judy in Calgary

Elaine, I was an expat mom of young children with a husband who travelled a lot for his work. It sucked. You have my sympathy.

I don't know what the solution to your dilemma is, but in the meantime please feel free to



and



and



Hopefully you'll eventually work things out, and you'll be able to

Elaine B.

The last time I was home was christmas 2004. Also my parents came to visit last month and it just reminded me how my kids are missing out on a relationship with their granparents. We have no family in Toronto my husband's mum is in Montreal and his dad lives in Parry Sound and is how shall I put this.... oh yeah insane! and not the sort of person you would want around you dog never mind your children, but that's a whole other story!

Lorna_D

We've got plenty of time if you want to get things off your chest.

ann m

Welcome to BE (aka the madhouse)

I'm sure homesickness is 'allowed' to pop up anytime, just whenever it feels like it, so I'm sure 8 years is fine However, being at home with a little one is sometimes incredibly lonely and your mind will wander off and do it's own thing, (my kids are 7 and 9 and I have no excuse for my mind anymore really!) and obviously currently your mind is off meandering to 'home' and 'comfort' and all things familiar.

I'd definately consider plotting and planning a two or three week holiday back in Belfast. You can fit in lots of family visits, give yourself a break and quietly ponder if it really is as you left it. Then when you return to Toronto, and settle down again, you might be able to sort the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, and really work out if a move back is what you really want.

In the meantime, as Lorna said - just come on here and have a rant, cry and a giggle. Not necessarily in that order - you pick !!

Rob4BC

Hi Elaine and welcome to BE and congrats on your latest arrival!
Do you have any family back home? Anyone able to come and visit with you?
Perhaps a trip back home might be all you need, just a dose of home might be all you need - any chance of this in the near future?

Whatever, know that we are here on BE for you, so feel free to lean on us.
I'm sure there are others in your situation who can give some advice.

Wishing you the best.

Rob.

Elaine B.

Thanks everyone, it does feel good to have a moan! I guess I'm feeling a little crazy at the minute. I think part of what set me off was hearing that a Scottish freind has just moved back to Scotland with her two daughters after being here for over 15 years.

boxerdog03

You say you are on Mat leave so you could be missing that contact with colleagues aswell.

I'd recommend getting checked for post natal depression if your low mood continues for a couple of weeks.

Welcome to the mad house

Elaine B.

thanks for the advice I'm sure this is just a case a homesickness that will pass soon, hopefully!

Elaine B.

just to change the subject slightly, Do you have British passports for your kids? Is it as straight forward as just applying throught Ottawa and providing a copy of my birth cert.?

iaink

Pretty much, but I havent bothered yet for a couple of reasons:

A: Its about twice as expensive as getting canadian ones

B: Its incredibly hard to get pictures of kids that meet the required standards...in short kids seem to wash out really easily. If you are mailing pictures there can be a lot of too and froing getting them accepted, but if you go to the canadian PP office and they dont like them, you just go back down stairs to the local photo place and get them done again until you get some they will accept.

C: Most travel for people here will be to the US, and canadians get an easier time than brits.

Elaine B.

good points.

My son already has his Canadian passport and I intend to get the wee girl hers soon. I was just glad to find out that they are both considered British it may come in handy when they're older. I guess at some point I should get my Canadian citizenship sorted out as well I just haven't got around to it.

iaink

Now would be a good time....especially if you are half considering leaving, as you might end up wanting to come back later too.

Here is the official blurb on kids/ citizenship:
http://www.ind.homeoffice.gov.uk/app...?view=Standard

This is the british PP page from the Ottawa HC site
http://www.britishhighcommission.gov...=1107296887948